 Friday, May 09, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling Sunday at 8 p.m. at Arlene's Grocery
Dana Sterling Presents:
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling!
Sunday, February 10th, 8-11:00pm
(6:30 Wrestle Lesson)
at Arlene's Grocery
95 Stanton Street (between Ludlow & Allen), NYC.
Subway: F to 2nd Ave
Hey Ladies, want to wrestle? RSVP at
danasterling@gmail.com
"Think the days of female empowerment through mortal combat were over? Think again--as this tongue-in-cheek sporting event brings ready-made deserts back to the ring where they belong." - TimeOut New York
"Sterling has successfully created a space that gives women permission to forget the hassle of deflecting criticism for their bodies' inadequacies and regress to a time when they felt comfortable being ridiculous. All it took was a creative impulse and the help from a little gelatin." - New York
Press
"After the match all the girls felt exhausted, but empowered (like the feeling you get when you watch the 'Charlie's Angel's' movie- watching fabulous females fighting evil and kicking some badguy ass.) Really makes ya wanna be a Rockstar Fighter Chick and change the world!" – Uncoolkids.com
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Jello Wrestling this Sunday @ 8 p.m. @ Arlene's Grocery
Dana Sterling Presents:
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling!
Sunday, January 13th , 8-11:00pm
(6:30 Wrestle Lesson)
at Arlene's Grocery
95 Stanton Street (between Ludlow & Allen), NYC.
Subway: F to 2nd Ave
Hey Ladies, want to wrestle? RSVP at
danasterling@gmail.com
"Think the days of female empowerment through mortal combat were over? Think again--as this tongue-in-cheek sporting event brings ready-made deserts back to the ring where they belong." - TimeOut New York
"Sterling has successfully created a space that gives women permission to forget the hassle of deflecting criticism for their bodies' inadequacies and regress to a time when they felt comfortable being ridiculous. All it took was a creative impulse and the help from a little gelatin." - New York
Press
"After the match all the girls felt exhausted, but empowered (like the feeling you get when you watch the 'Charlie's Angel's' movie- watching fabulous females fighting evil and kicking some badguy ass.) Really makes ya wanna be a Rockstar Fighter Chick and change the world!" Б─⌠ Uncoolkids.com
Posted by The Tank in NY.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling
Hello Sportsfans! Thanks to everyone who came out to Arlene's last month for Amateur Female Jello Wrestling! Check out the photos of the party here.
Join us for the last Jello party of 2007, this Sunday at Arlene's Grocery with musical guests EvenEye, Vesper and DJ Xerox. Don't forget to RSVP for reduced admission!
Next Sunday, come Twister to Disco in Crisco with Kickstart, Trauma Team and DJ Skintight... 
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling this Sunday at Arlene's Grocery!
"Think the days of female empowerment through mortal combat were over? Think again--as this tongue-in-cheek sporting event brings ready-made deserts back to the ring where they belong." - TimeOut New York
Come support our feminist fight club!
Dana Sterling proudly presents:
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling
Sunday, December 2, 2007 @ 8pm
Arlene's Grocery
95 Stanton Street (Ludlow & Allen)
Subway: F to 2nd Ave.
8:00pm Show, 6:30pm Wrestle Lesson (wrestlers only)
with musical guests:
Eclectic sultry pop foursome Eveneye
Sexy Expi-rock trio Vesper
& your cover lover DJ Xerox (of Copy Cat/Hipster Travel).
Hosted by Allan & Veronica Vicious.
21+
Admission: Girls who wrestle: Free,
Girls who choose not to wrestle: $5
Boys who come with girls: $10
Single boys: $20 (Get it? Bring a girl!)
Get $2 off admission with RSVP to rsvp@annierock.com.
Hey Ladies, want to wrestle? RSVP at danasterling@gmail.com or 917-653-5674, and show up at 6:30 for the mandatory free Wrestle Lesson!
(This is a woman founded, woman managed event)
(No Jello was harmed in the making of this event)
www.jellowrestle.com 
Meet the musicians: EVENEYE Brooklyn-based quartet EvenEye's music is a funky, groove-based form of pop-rock. Front woman Laurel sparkles and flirts with the audience, performing jazzy melodies over the band's eclectic grooves. The band's overall sound is light-hearted, almost goofy at times, but listen closely, the darker meaning behind Laurel's soothing tones reveals the band's delightfully slightly twisted nature.
VESPER Brooklyn-based trio Vesper performs sonically beautiful, edgy, hard rock. Led by a girl/boy vocal duo, Vesper pairs careful lyrics with dynamic songwriting. With dark and winding storylines, Vesper's songs are intense tales of love and loss, and the decay of innocence. Their debut album ... With Autumn I Fell ... is out now.
DJ XEROX aka Evan Tritt, is a tribute-band’s dream come true, a connoisseur of do-overs. An NYC native, DJ Xerox is the force behind Hipstertravel.com, an events website featuring hip happenings from major cities all over the US and the world as well as Xerox’s own NYC events list. DJ Xerox also curates and hosts Copy Cat, a cover-devoted evening featuring live bands, bi-weekly at Otto’s Shrunken Head. more
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Jello Wrestling tonight - Sunday, October 7, at Arlene's Grocery
What is Amateur Female Jello Wrestling?
This is a Female-run Sports Satire. We mix showmanship and sportsmanship into a fun event where women get to show off their sense of humor as well as their bootie!
Want to come to the show?
Anyone can come to a show, but only girls can wrestle. This show takes place once a month in New York City. Check the website for location and details, or join our Mailing List!
Want to wrestle?
Females of all sizes, shapes, and skill levels are encouraged to participate. Just come to our "Wrestle Lesson," which is always at 6:30pm before our 8pm show. At that time, you will meet the other wrestlers and learn some fun stunts. Our wrestlers have stage personalities and names and often dress to fit their character. We will help you to find yours. Please invite your friends to the show to cheer for you as you achieve your wrestling glory!
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Friday, August 03, 2007
Jello Wrestling at Arlene's Grocery this Sunday at 8 p.m.
Hello Sportsfans!
This Sunday, after months of bar hopping around lower Manhattan, Jello is coming home to Arlene's Grocery! We're super excited to have Trauma Team in their debut Jello performance (we can't believe it's taken us this long to get this awesome band!), and Kickstart is back for an encore show. Both bands share a very beautiful drummer, Ms. Bloody Mary, and it happens to be her birthday - Make sure you come by to wish her happy returns and don't forget to RSVP to get reduced admission at the door!
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling this Sunday at Arlene's Grocery!
"The whole night is a sticky tour de force of feminism at its bustiest best. With names like: Tinkerbelle,; Acid; and Lady Venom, these ladies tongue firmly in cheek are blazing a trail of gender equality with class cascading out of their cleavage and pride pouring forth from their pantaloons." -BrooWaha.com
Come support our feminist fight club!
Dana Sterling Presents:
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Arlene's Grocery
95 Stanton Street (Ludlow & Allen)
Subway: F to 2nd Ave.
8:00pm Show, 6:30pm Wrestle Lesson (wrestlers only)
with musical guests:
Rowdy rock n’ roll misfits: Kickstart,
The punk-rock horror of: Trauma Team,
& The Copy Cat himself, DJ Xerox (of Hipster Travel).
Hosted by Allan & Veronica Vicious.
21+
Admission: Girls who wrestle: Free,
Girls who choose not to wrestle: $5
Boys who come with girls: $10
Single boys: $20 (Get it? Bring a girl!)
Get $2 off admission with RSVP to rsvp@annierock.com.
Hey Ladies, want to wrestle? RSVP at danasterling@gmail.com or 917-653-5674, and show up at 6:30 for the mandatory free Wrestle Lesson!
(This is a woman founded, woman managed event)
(No Jello was harmed in the making of this event)
www.jellowrestle.com |
Posted by the Tank in NY. |
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Father's Day Jello Wrestling
Welcome to Crash Mansion in the Bowery for Father's Day Jello Wrestling. (Sorry for the late post but I've been busy at work and had poor Internet access on vacation.) Anywho, this is NOT your father's wrestling nor your mother's feminism. It's the world premier sports satire and 21st Century Feminist Fight Club!
I arrived just as the red and white jello was poured in a perfect "Taoist Yin-Yang formation" according to Allen. What can be more harmonious than Amateur Female Jello Wrestling? Nothing, I tell you.
The closed caption Crash Mansion monitors showed clips from previous jello wrestling competitions. Crash Mansion is a really cool setting with large stage and nice couches to sit down. (I pulled my right and left calves this morning at the Father's Day Run Against Prostate Cancer so the couches are a welcome way to take a load off.)
DJ Xerox spins the tunes. Annie is your bartender. Please tip her generously.
It's great to see Captain Zorikh, Jolie Voltaire, and Ann. Ariel from Kindergarten starts the show by playing the harmonica. They then play Dead or Alive's "Spin Me Around".
In the monthly men's hoola hoop contest, I did better than in past months but did not make the finals. It's Andrew versus Dave the Kitten Man and Dave the Kitten Man won.
Ariel from Kindergarten does a great intro for Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister and Kindergarten's new CD went on sale on Sunday, June 24. Good luck Kindergarten!
Match # 1: Daddy's Dirty Dominatrix versus the H. Katrina.
Katrina is "going to f*ck these b*tches up!". Hey, kids, I can't make this up.
Katrina starts on top. The Dominatrix reverses. The Domantrix throws Katrina. They then roll around. Katrina head slams the Domantrix. They roll around then Katrina spanks the Dominatrix.
They return to their feet. Katrina side tosses the Dominatrix. The Dominatrix spanks and mounts Katrina. The Dominatrix tries to seduce Katrina with a kiss but Katrina rolls out.
The Dominatrix body slams Katrina and she stuffs jello down Katrina's shirt and gets the pin.
Katrina is a good sport and gives the Dominatrix a nice sportswoman kiss. Katrina promises to "hump" the Dominatrix in a future match.
The Domantrix notes that her "daddy taught me well."
Match #2: The Mime versus Our Lady of Perpetual PMS (AKA The Italian Princess of Power).
"As the patron saint of PMS, I like everyone and want to buy everyone a drink. I am really bloated," PMS reports to her followers. Even too much information for me but I am your fearless blogger/journalist/historian.
"Lack of sound (Mime) versus the Fury of PMS," Allen notes.
Both wrestlers lock up. The Mime side tosses PMS. PMS rolls out. The Mime umps in between PMS' legs.
"I love PMS!" the Dominatrix shouts.
PMS rolls the Mime. "It's a silent scream," Allen says.
Motley Crue's "Girls, Girls, Girls" cranks over the speakers.
PMS get on top of the Mime and gets the pin. The wrestlers embrace. What sportswomanship!
In the post-match interview, the Mime puts up her fists and is ready for the next match.
"Of course, I have been bitchy for a week and a half!" PMS reports.
Match #3: The Virgin Princess versus Tatter Snatch.
Jolie Voltiare is your referee.
Snatch fights those who would "destroy cute outfits." Snatch jump rolls into the ring.
They lock arms and runs around. The Virgin throws jello. Snatch gets on top of the Virgin and they roll around as Aerosmith's "Rag Doll" plays.
Snatch throws the Virgin and then slams her into the side of the ring. Snatch pulls the Virgin by the pigtails.
Both wrestlers start throwing jello. They embrace but the Virgin is on top. Snatch reverses as Allen shouts "bring her down."
Snatch goes for the rear pin and wins.
"Remove your white dress!" the Dominatrix commands after the Virgin loses.
"All of you are supporters of the violence which ruined my skirt," Snatch cries.
Match #4: The Mime versus Daddy's Dirty Dominatrix.
The Dominatrix is not afraid of the Mime's invisible weaponry. In fact, she doesn't "feel threatened but excited." The wrestlers size each other up.
The Mime gets off to a quick start with a clothesline and then a hair pull. The Mime is a new jello wrestlers but you wouldn't know it after she executes a waist hold and body slam.
The Dominatrix enjoys the fact that the Mime is "in control and that's how she likes it." "I don't like sluts who are too easy!" the Dominatrix declares.
The Mime continues her offensive and waves finger in D's face. She hair pulls and throws down the Dominatrix. The Dominatrix enjoys being controlled and is smiling when others would grimace.
The wresters again size each other up. The Dominatrix clothesline and bodyslams the Mime.
The Mime rolls out and side slams the Dominatrix. She goes for the pin but only gets a one count.
The Dominatrix recovers and grinds the Mime in the far corner.
The Mime stays on her stomach and avoids the pin. Both wrestlers are both exhausted. Allen compliments the Mime's mastery of the "secret mimic arts."
The Dominatrix slaps the Mime. She executes a leg pull and pins the Mime. The Mime is a good sport and makes the sign of a telephone with her pinky and then points to the Dominatrix to call her.
Allen says that the Dominatrix "is going to take it all the way."
"It's clean fun," the Dominatrix observes. "Family fun for everyone," Allen replies.
Match #5: Tatter Snatch versus H. Katrina.
"You devastated New Orleans fashion b*tch!" Snatch screams.
Katrina promises to smack Snatch down.
They roll and jump around the ring, er kiddie pool. Snatch throws Katrina down.
Snatch rolls around. Katrina is on top. Snatch tries to roll and pin her with a submission leg pull. Snatch rages at not getting the pin.
Katrina reverses and pulls her by the hair. Katrina gets her in a head lock. Snatch tries to spank her way out of trouble. Katrina continues the offensive with a body slam. Katrina is relentless in applying a spanking to Snatch. Snatch barely overcomes this newcomer's onslaught and somehow escapes.
Snatch regroups and starts throwing jello. Snatch distracts Katrina who is used to blowing water around but can she deal with jello?
Katrina has a petite build but is strong and goes for the pin. Snatch rolls out and both start spanking each other.
Snatch loses part of her skirt. Katrina thought she won and started to walk out of the ring. Her rookie mistake costs her as she flips as she goes back into the ring and Snatch pins her.
"I'll blow her away," Katrina says in her post match commentary.
"Nothing can compensate all those New Orleans for losing their Mardi Gras feathers," Snatch cries.
Allen tries to empathize that he had to go topless to get his beads in New Orleans. You learn something new everyday.
Match #6: The Virgin versus Our Lady of Perpetual PMS.
Royal Pink takes the stage.
"I'm bloated as it is," PMS demurs.
"Grace and class," Allen says in describing the Virgin.
Jolie Voltaire is your referee.
They arm lock at the shoulders. PMS takes the Virgin down and they roll around. PMS tries to take off the Virgin's dress. The Virgin reverses and pulls PMS' leg -- literally. PMS throws jello and pulls the Virgin in.
The Virgin takes off her dress and Tatter Snatch runs away with it.
The Virgin pulls PMS down by her hair. PMS counters with a back throws of jello. Genius I tell ya. The Virgin side tosses the Princess and then body slams PMS.
The Virgin dives in between PMS' legs.
"I don't know how she is so adept at diving in between legs," Allen
quips.
PMS flips the Virgin. The Virgin has her in a leg lock. PMS is on top of the Virgin and gets the pin in the far corner.
PMS proudly displays her PMS Crown of various women's health products. I've said it once and I'll say it again, I can't make this stuff up.
"Tonight's my night to fight back!" PMS shouts to her adoring fans.
Let's have a big hand for Allen, Dana, and JV. Kudos to Church for his ring work and working the merchandise table. Billy is the sound man.
Royal Pink is releasing their CD on July at Lit Lounge. For their last song ("Truth or Dare"), Daddy's Little Dominatrix, H. Katrina, PMS, and the Mime dance in front of the stage with a bunch of unidentified with fans. Allen summons Royal Pink into the jello who "may" wrestle.
Seated next to Dave the Kitten Man, Shara is already carrying a bra above her head. Katrina tries to recruit Shira and her friend. Maya should definitely jello wrestle. Maya recently competed at Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister. H. Katrina and Daddy's Little Dominatrix spank Allen. Allen promises discipline later.
Captain Zorikh explains that he is "Pepe El Pollo (Pepe the Chicken)". Jolie Voltaire is "Arroz Que Salta". Together, they are the unbeatable couple "Arroz Con Pollo.
-------
Championship Round
Match #7: The Virgin Princess versus Daddy's Dirty Dominatrix.
The "Rocky" theme plays.
Jolie Voltaire is your referee.
The Dominatrix slithers into the ring. "I am really drunk," she slurs.
"Some discipline is in order," the Virgin retorts.
"I love sluts!" the Dominatrix exclaims. The Princess throws off the her white jacket. Tatter Snatch runs and grabs the jacket.
The Dominatrix inebriation catches up with her as the Princess throws and flips her. The Virgin falls but quickly recovers to pull the Dominatrix down by the hair. The Dominatrix jumps in between the Virgin's legs. The Dominatrix tries a side pin but the Virgin kicks out.
The Virgin leg grabs and throws the Dominatrix. The Virgin body slams the Dominatrix and spanks her. "I like it!" the Dominatrix shouts.
"Does this qualify as a wrestling match?" Allen asks. Close enough for government work I say.
The Virgin throws the Dominatrix. Not to be outdone, the Dominatrix kicks out with solid hip thrusts that would make any WWE Diva proud.
Both wrestlers roll around. The Dominatrix spanks the Virgin and the Dominatrix returns the favor. Enraged, the Virgin pulls down the Dominatrix panties and puts jello in them.
The Virgin almost has a wardrobe malfunction of her own. The Dominatrix tries to pin the Virgin on her back but she resists. The Virgin puts up a good fight and pulls the Dominatrix panties down again.
The Dominatrix somehow regains her composure and gets the pin. "You're my Virgin!" the Dominatrix declares upon her victory over the Virgin.
"Drunkenness beats sobriety!" the Virgin concedes.
"Drunkenness and sex beats sobriety and chastity," Allen astutely concurs.
Match #8: H. Katrina versus the Mime.
Katrina takes her shirt off and side steps into the ring. The Mime takes off her shirt.
The Dominatrix wants Katrina to take off her shorts but Katrina cautions public viewing of her "hairy m*ff".
In the spirit of compromise, the Dominatrix removes Katrina's jean skirt and then spanks her. This is a match within the match.
Back to the match at hand, Katrina is literally wound up and tries to spear the Mime. They roll around but the Mime gets a quick pin on Katrina.
Katrina pulls the Mime back into the ring and pins her. Just goes to show you that it's never over till its over.
Katrina doesn't stop and tries to pull down the Mime's shorts.
"I want your babies!" the Dominatrix cries. Katrina jumps into the Dominatrix arms. All's well that ends well. 
Match #9: Tatter Snatch versus Our Lady of Perpetual PMS.
These are the two angriest women here.
PMS is not easy to cope with once a month (or so they say) and Snatch is on a mission of her own.
"Nothing has worried more clothing than PMS!" Snatch shouts.
Both PMS and Snatch run, jump and roll into the ring.
Snatch is on top but not for long. Snatch pushes PMS down. Snatch then pushes her away.
PMS dives Snatch's legs. "Many women have been brought down by PMS!" Allen declares.
Snatch mounts PMS from behind. Snatch gets an arm hold around PMS' neck and body slams her.
Both women yell at each other. Daddy's Dirty Dominatrix takes the mike and shouts that she is rooting for Tatter Snatch because I love snatch!"
Snatch tries for a back pin and half nelson. Snatch lams PMS's head into the side ring. PMS counters by spanking Snatch.
"I'm on the rag and you can't tear it off!" PMS tells Snatch.
Ariel cheers on PMS.
Pepe weighs in and says that "Gringo jello lucho is different from Mexican jello lucho. I can not trust a woman who can bleed for five days and not die."
Snatch gets the pin.
Pepe tries to recruit PMS and Snatch but Snatch does not like Arroz's mask.
"You can't get rid of me!" PMS informs all who will listen to hear her post-match interview.
"Stop fighting to save the clothing!" Snatch beseeches the crowd.
Match #10: Daddy's Dirty Little Dominatrix versus the Mime.
Kindergarten plays "Eye of the Tiger" which really gets the crowd and the wrestlers into the action. Wasting no time, the Mime pushes the Dominatrix into the ring.
The Mime flips the Dominatrix. The Dominatrix counters and tries to seduce the Mime. (The Dominatrix had me seduced hours ago.)
The Mime has a side head lock and flips the Dominatrix. The Dominatrix staggers around the ring like Rocky and Clubber in Rocky.
"Is she up for the challenge of her life?". I wonder.
Yes, she is as the Dominatrix body slams the Mime. The Dominatrix goes for and gets the pin.
In her anger, the Mime puts jello down the Dominatrix's top.
When asked in the post match interview if she will return, the Mime nods her head which means she'll be back.
The Dominatrix puts jello down the back of the Mime's shorts. The Dominatrix enjoys it when the Mime puts jello down her top. "I am only afraid of *ss jello," she says in her post-match interview.
Match #11: Tatter Snatch versus a Wild Card Opponent.
Who will it be? The Virgin Princess, PMS, and H. Katrina?
"Death, taxes, and PMS!" PMS promises in her candidacy for the slot. But in verbal vote of the crowd, H. Katrina is your Wild Card wrestler.
"Regardless of your clothes, I'm taking you down!" Snatch boasts. In her response, Katrina takes off her jean skirt.
Snatch is enraged and insulted. She dive rolls into the ring and flips Katrina.
Not to be out, Kindergarten cranks up the "A-Team" theme. Gotta love it, it just keeps getting better.
They roll and jump around as I am hit by jello. Katrina tries to head slam Snatch but she somehow escapes. Snatch uses her momentum to pull Katrina down. Katrina reveres. She doesn't let up when she puts jello down Snatch's shorts. Snatch is now enraged as her panties now show. Katrina uses Snatch's pique to her advantage and body slams Snatch. Snatch get up while Katrina slips and Snatch goes for the pin.
Katirna blows wind on Snatch and they slip and roll around to my ringside location. All for you our loyal readers.
Snatch tries to remove her bra. Snatch confiscates it. Katrina pull off Snatch's bra. Both women are bra less and my Dad is thankfully out of the hospital so this has to be the best Father's Day ever.
They roll around. Katrina tries to take off Snatch's waist garment. Snatch side scoops jello into Katrina's face.
"Hey lady, take off your shirt!" Jolie Voltaire shouts.
"These titties are going to blow away the competition next time," Katrina exclaims.
"You created a hurricane in my panty region," Daddy's Dirty Dominatrix seductively says.
Match # 12 - The Championship Match: Tater Snatch versus Daddy's Dirty Dominatrix.
"I'm just sick of people pulling off clothing," Snatch declares as she and Jolie Voltaire make out.
Not to be outdone, H. Katrina and Daddy's Dirty Dominatrix are in each arms.
Who will lose their clothes? Are there any losers in Amateur Female Jello Wrestling? I think not, we are all winners.
The Dominatrix flip rolls into the ring and Snatch dives in.
They stare each other down. Kindergarten cranks Europe's classic "The Final Countdown".
"We're leaving together!" Ariel sings as both wrestlers roll to my ringside location. I can only hope.
Arroz is your co-Announcer.
The Dominatrix hip thrusts Snatch off of her.
The photographer gets kicked in the groin.
Snatch pulls in the Dominatrix and pulls part of her top off. Snatch's top rolls off. Arroz is speechless at this development.
Snatch is on top of the Dominatrix. Snatch goes for the infamous arm through the groin pull.
The Dominatrix takes off her top.
I almost get kicked in the groin by Snatch.
The Dominatrix tries to lick Snatch's nipple. Snatch pulls the Dominatrix down. They roll around again.
Snatch mounts the Dominatrix from behind but "that won't get the pin" as you have to pin the wrestler on her back Allen reminds the audience.
The Dominatrix slams Snatch's head into the side ring. Jello flies all around including at me.
The crowd gets into it and shouts "The Final Countdown" following Ariel and Kindergarten's great lead.
"I'm disappointed," Katrina sighs.
The Dominatrix promises Allen a "private tutorial."
"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family!" Allen exclaims. Amateur Female Jello Wrestling is more "pro family" in ways the Sopranos could never dream of.
Allen has to discipline the Dominatrix and spanks her three times. Allen is speechless and I am about to faint. The night just started to get interesting...
Posted by a flush and exhilarated Tank reporting Live from Crash Mansion in the Bowery of Manhattan.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Jello at Crash Mansion Sunday with Ava Luna, Twice As Bright & DJ Xerox
Dana Sterling Presents: Amateur Female Jello Wrestling!
Sunday, July 8 , 8-11:00pm (6:30 Wrestle Lesson)
at Crash Mansion (199 Bowery @ Spring, Manhattan)
Subway: 6 to Spring St., F to 2nd Ave, J to Bowery 
www.going.com/jellowrestle 21+ Admission:
Girls who wrestle: FREE
Girls who choose not to wrestle: $5
Boys who come with girls: $10
Single boys: $20 (get it? Bring a girl!)
Get $2 off admission with RSVP: rsvp@annierock.com Future Jello Wrestling Events: 7/22 @ WCCC Radio, Riders Cafe in Waterbury CT
7/29 @ Henrietta Hudson
8/5 Â @ Arlene's Grocery
8/19 @Â Henrietta Hudson
9/9 @ Jello (Location TBA)
9/23 @ Henrietta Hudson "Think the days of female empowerment through mortal combat were over? Think again--as this tongue-in-cheek sporting event brings ready-made deserts back to the ring where they belong." - TimeOut New York "Sterling has successfully created a space that gives women permission to forget the hassle of deflecting criticism for their bodies' inadequacies and regress to a time when they felt comfortable being ridiculous. All it took was a creative impulse and the help from a little gelatin." - New York Press
"After the match all the girls felt exhausted, but empowered (like the feeling you get when you watch the 'Charlie's Angel's' movie- watching fabulous females fighting evil and kicking some badguy ass.) Really makes ya wanna be a Rockstar Fighter Chick and change the world!" Uncoolkids.com
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Upcoming Events
Dana Sterling, friend of Steve and the Tank and the Queen of Amateur Female Jello Wrestling and Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister, invites you to the upcoming Jello Wrestling and Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister events. See you there!
Hello Sportsfans!
We've had to change our May party schedule around a little, so we wanted to drop you a note to let you know the new dates:
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling: 5/20 at Webster Hall! Disco Crisco Twister: 5/27 at Arlene's Grocery!
Mark your calendar:
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling will premiere at Webster Hall this month on Sunday, May 20th at 8:00pm, with special guest performers: Fiasco, Violator, DJ Xerox, and Valeze (headlining at 10:30pm).
And for the first time ever, Jello will be free with RSVP through Going.com. One RSVP per person, and boys must come with girls. Boys: Don't know any girls to come with? Girls: want to pair up with a boy and get him in free? Luckily, you can see who's coming to this event and contact them on Going.com, so get yourself a friend, while you RSVP. :)
Disco Crisco Twister returns to Arlene's Grocery on Sunday, May 27, 2007 at 7:00pm, with special musical guests Rotten Cheri, DJ Skintight and The Problem, and special hosts Colin & Stephanie (of Rotten Cheri). Come play with us!
www.jellowrestle.com |
More info coming soon...
Are you a friend? Be a friend at Myspace.
Save the Dates:
*Amateur Female Jello Wrestling: Sunday, June 17, 2007*
Photography credit for Jello Flyer: Annie Burns
Photography credit for Disco Flyer: Annie Burns
Illustrations by: Rodney Ramos
Flyer and eBlast created by: annie*rock | | | | | |
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Nor'easter and Tax Day Jello Wrestling
If it is the second Sunday of the month, then it must be time for the world's premier sports SATIRE, Amateur Female Jello Wrestling. Amateur Female Jello Wrestling is not your father's wrestling nor your mother's feminism. It has to be seen live to be believed.
For our non-American readers, today is a day that all Americans dread, Tax Day. The Northeast also pounded New York with eight inches or 20 centimeters of rain.
It's great to see familiar faces like Skella Bella, Tiana, Dana Sterling, and Annie Rock.
Before the matches started, a journalist named Maria interviewed me. Maria asked me about the typical SteveAndTheTank.com reader. I really couldn't answer her because I am grateful that we have readers all over the world. For instance, when Steve speaks at IT conferences around the world in diverse places like Egypt, Pakistan, and other far away lands are exposed to something that they normally would not in their home countries. I think Amateur Female Jello Wrestling and Steve and the Tank play a small but important role in "democratization" if you will of those closed socities.
DJ Kowabunga and Schweron (pictured below) warmed up the crowd. Good job on "Swamp Thing".
After their brief set, the Tank peeked at the TVs above the bar to catch the NBA scores. The NJ Nets beat the Indiana Pacers 111-107. The Knicks lost to Toronto 107-105.
Hoola Hoop Contest: Since the Tank won musical chairs at last month's Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister, Dana asked me to approach the stage. The Tank did not win the hoola hoop contest. Dana advised me to practice more but I replied that I am too busy blogging.
Without further ado, "let's get ready to jello wrestle!!!!!!!!"
Veronica Vicious is your ring announcer. Tiana is doing double duty as co-announcer and your referee, AKA the Goddess of Plunder. She sounds like the IRS.
(1) The Mad Mistress versus the Dangerous Divorcee:
Not only is pride on the line but the future of the Mad Mistress' fiance, Jimmy. The winner gets Jimmy, only possible in Amateur Female Jello Wrestling.
The ladies arm lock around the shoulders. Divorcee arm bars Mistress. Mistress counters by spanking and then flipping the Divorcee. Both ladies body slam one another. Amazing!
True to her word, the Divorcee takes the Mistress down.
Back and forth they go with side body locks and spanks.
The Dangerous Divorcee slams and pins the Mad Mistress as promised. Therefore, the Mad Mistress is no longer engaged to Jimmy as he is going home with the Dangerous Divorcee.
(2) Spring Fling versus Martha Do-It:
These are two real roommates who are going to settle differences like whose hair is in the drain and singing John Denver tunes in the shower. This isn't Dr. Phil or the People's Court, it's Amateur Female Jello Wrestling. Let's settle it in the ring ladies.
Who will win this epic battle?
"Poison!" blares over the spears as quick body slams and hair pulls. There is jello flying everywhere including some hitting the Tank. What the Tank doesn't do for our loyal readers.
In a first for the Tank, the Martha Do-It has a bloody nose. She tries to continue the match but it is called.
(3) Skella Bella versus Boom-Boom:
"I have stared into the face of eternity and my opponent wasn't there," Stella Bella bellowed as she was asked for her pre-match comments. Both wrestlers literally dance around but get to the matter at hand. Stella executes leg take downs. Boom Boom reverses. The jello is hitting the fan and each other. Stella spanks Boom Boom. After a side take down, Stella dives through Boom Boom's legs. Boom Boom counters and rolls out. Side head lock. Stella flips Boom Boom and gets the pin. "You just wait until next lifetime," Boom Boom says in her post match interview. Photo of SB and BB at ring side. (4) Goddess of Plunder versus Bushwhacking Bunny: Plunder is looking forward to "rabbit jello soup." Both wrestlers go from a quick hug into a take down. Plunder tries for a side lock and the Bunny puts her ears on. Plunder slams Bunny. Bunny counters and flips Plunder. Both wrestlers somehow find their way to their feet. Plunder pulls Bunny down and pins her. Plunder wins. (5) The Dangerous Divorcee versus Spring Fling: Spring Fling brings quite a crew. The weather might be a nor'easter outside but Spring Fling is in full summer bloom. She brags about her nose bleed in her pre-match interview. The Divorcee and Fling lock up and around the ring. Fling is down and Divorcee body slam her. Fling goes for the hair pull. "I love you Jimmy!" the Divorcee shouts. She is dangerous indeed. Fling takes advantage of the Divorcee's love proclamation and back slams her. Divorcee somehow gets up, they lock up, and then slip down. Divorcee is flipped by Fling. Fling counters by body slamming the Divorcee. Fling goes for the pin and keeps the Divorcee down for a three count before should can get out of it. "Jimmy should be scared," Fling quips. Is Jimmy mere male chattel who is traded between women on rough and tumble action in and out of the ring? I am afraid so. (6) Red Alert (formerly Martha Do-It because of the bloody nose) versus the Mad Mistress: They lockup. Red Alert slams the Mistress and pulls her hair. Both wrestlers try to stand. Red Alert slams the Mistress down. The Mistress counters with a body slam. Red Alert somehow recovers and side slams the Mistress from her knees and gets the quick pin. (7) Skella Bella versus the Bunny: Bunny falls in morbid fear of Skella. She kicks out of a quick pin. Both wrestlers roll around to no advantage. Skella slams Bunny into mat. Bunny jumps in between Skella's legs. Skella tries the leg pin. The Bunny reverses and body slams Skella. Skella does a reverse German suplex and pins the Bunny with her behind. Take that Chris "The Wolverine" Benoit. "Where are my ears?" the Bunny cries. "Death has buns of steel," Skella Bella bellows. (8) Boom Boom versus the Goddess of Plunder: Boom Boom dances around the ring as Fugitive Kind takes the stage for the last match before the championship round. Down on the mat they go. Brief camel clutch which the Iron Sheik would be proud of. (Speaking of the Iron Sheik, I almost ran into him near the Reggae Room in the basement of Webster Hall about a decade ago.) Slide around. Plunder dives between Boom Boom's legs and then side slams her. Both wrestlers get to their feet. Boom Boom falls down, gets up, slams Plunder down, and gets the pin. ------- Upcoming Events: The Tank did not know that his Iron Sheik reference at Webster Hall almost a decade ago is coming full circle as the next Amateur Female Jello Wrestling is at Webster Hall. Freakin' awesome! Webster Hall is one of my favorite clubs. After you spend Mother's Day with your Mom, come on out to Amateur Female Jello Wrestling on Sunday, May 13. But wait, there more, May 13 is also the Tank's birthday. ------------------ While the Tank refills on his orange juice and cranberry at the bar, Dodgers lead the Padres 5-1 in the third inning. Hank Aaron in the booth with fellow Hall of Famer Joe Morgan and Jon Miller on the ESPN telecast. All Dodgers are wearing #42 in honor of the late, great Jackie Robinson. ---- Championship Round: (9) The Dangerous Divorcee versus Skella Bella: "I can see that you are already in mourning," Skella declares and then side rolls into the ring. They lock up. Skella side slams the Divorcee. The Divorcee falls down in between Skella's legs but quickly recover to side slam Skella. Skella somehow dives in between the Divorcee's legs and then side flips her. Skella's offensive continue with an incredible back throw. The Divorcee makes an incredible comeback to side slams Skella. Skella counters with and arm bar and side flip. She executes a flip and pins the Divorcee. Incredible! This type of incredible competition can only be found in the championship round of Amateur Female Jello Wrestling. "There is no stopping my morbid advance," Skella emphatically declares. (10) Red Alert versus Bush Whacking Bunny: They lock up at the shoulders and quickly size each other up. The Bunny throws Red Alert. The Bunny bodyslams Red Alert. The Bunny then celebrates with a dance while Salt and Pepper's "Smush it". Red Alert side flips the Bunny which causes an impending wardrobe malfunction. The Bunny repairs the damage. The ungrateful Red Alert steals the Bunny's tail. The Bunny counters and pulls Red Alert's legs. Red Alert recovers quickly and then slip to the mat. Red Alert "smushes" the Bunny and makes some stew. "I feel proud that I was able to make a meal," Red Alert deliciously says. (11) The Mad Mistress versus the the Goddess of Plunder: The Mistress rolls into the ring and both wrestlers hop around the ring. The Mistress takes an early advantage. Plunder tries to hook Mistress' leg but Mistress slips out. Both wrestlers wrestle to close to the Tank's ringside location. The Mistress bodyslams Plunder. Plunder somehow rolls out and side flips the Mistress. Mistress counters with a clothesline. Both wrestlers roll around in a an embarce. The Mistress rolls Plunder into a small package for the win. "In my fight for Jimmy, it's worth it!" the Mistress exclaims. Jimmy replies that "I am the luckiest guy of all." (12) Spring Fling versus Boom Boom: The wrestlers dance around and the jello starts flying.
Fling throws down Boom Boom. Boom Boom gets on top of Fling. Fling counters with bodyslams. Boom Boom counters with a hair pull.
Fling jumps out of the way of Boom Boom's body slam attempt.
Opposing fans cheer "Kaboom!" for Boom Boom and "Spring" for Spring Fling.
Fling pulls Boom Boom's hair.
Boom Boom goes for the pin. Fling flips Boom Boom from her knees. Fling falls. Boom Boom bodyslams and poses for the cameras. Her hubris costs her the match as Fling gets the far ring pin.
(13) Skella Bella versus Red Alert:
"You shall bleed," Skella declares.
Dana invites Matt and his Mom to the next Amateur Female Jello Wrestling on Mother's Day at Webster Hall.
Skella drops to a knee and side throws Red Alert. Red Alert counters. Skella side flips Red Alert. Both wrestlers roll around. Skella goes for the hair pull.
Skella leverages herself and dives in between Red Alert's legs.
The Dangerous Divorcee gives the edge to Skella during her intra-match commentary. Shortly thereafter, Skella gets the pin.
"May you rest ease though I will not forgive the fracture of my nose," Skella warns.
(14) Spring Fling versus The Mad Mistress:
Fling takes the early advantage by slamming the Mistress. "Do it for Jimmy!" someone shouts from the crowd.
The Mistress tries to rally as the Hulkster did years ago but Fling gets the quick pin.
Championship Round:
(15) Skella Bella versus Spring Fling:
The Shapes will perform during the final match.
"I wish you to know that winter will always come," Skella scowls before she does her patented flip into the ring.
Dana asks the Tank who he will win and I give the edge to the Skella with the experience. Who will win the newcomer or veteran?
Skella rolls out Fling. Fling tries pull to pull Skella's closely trimmed hair.
Back and forth they go.
Skella kicks Fling off of her, grabs her with an arm lock and then side throws Fling.
Skella falls to her stomach. Fling rolls her over and pins her pictured below.  "I feel like the blossoming season that my name is," Fling celebrated.
"You too shall die!" Skella counters pictured below.
That's it for Amateur Female Jello Wrestling at Don Hill's. See you next month at Webster Hall.
Posted by the Tank.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Will the Tank Conquer His Hoola Hoop Demons and Win Musical Chairs?
It's time for everyone's favorite adult co-ed game show, Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister, which features kids games like Musical Chairs, Name That Tune, and Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister. Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister
offers men the opportunity to participate as they are not allowed in Amateur Female Jello Wrestling.
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The house band warmed the crowd up with classics like "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Bungles and "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi.
Your co-hosts Colin and Jessica rally the crowd with the Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister theme and explain the rules. Colin also has in his own band. Check out Willpilotmusic! Good rocking music!
Without further ado, it's time for Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister.
Contest #1: Musical Chairs: FireFlies versus Watchers. Round and round they go to the tune of the Pussycat Dolls' "Doncha Ya" ("Milkshake") song.
As the competitors try to balance holding onto to their beers as they contest for position for an open chair, some unfortunately spills. "No crying over spilled beer," Colin quips.
The band changes speed and it's down to Seth of the FireFlies versus Sheena.
Seth was a gentleman and yielded his seat to Sheena.
Voyeurs scored their first point.
(1B) Voyeurs versus Church: The Tank made the final five in his last appearance and hopes to do better this time. Team Church is really strong with Church, Chia, Dana, and the Tank. Team Church has three of the final four competitors -- almost like the 1985 Final Four with Big East Powers Georgetown, Saint John's, and eventual champion Villanova. Andrea from Team Voyeurs is eliminated so Team Church wins by default.
Who will be the eventual individual champion? Chia is the next to be eliminated. It's down to the Tank and Church. The competition is fierce as Church and the Tank are two equally rugged men. Round and round they go, the music stops, and Church and the Tank battle for position. This is not for the faint of heart. The Tank and Church battle for the chair like a basketball rebound ala the Bruise Brothers, Jeff Ruland and Rick Mahorn, battling each other instead of the other team. It's almost like the old Dodge Ram commercial where the two rams collide. The Tank locks in, lowers his left shoulder, and plants his right leg in the floor. This is reminscient of when he became the King of the Metallica Mosh Pit at |