Steve and the Tank! - Medford Bob's Day at the Brooklyn Cyclones

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Medford Bob's Day at the Brooklyn Cyclones

The Mermaid Parade

On Saturday I went to see the Brooklyn Cyclones, the single A short season team of the NY Mets at Keyspan Park in Coney Island. It also happened to be the first weekend after the summer solstice which made it “Mermaid Parade” day. Now, for those of you not familiar with what this is, “the Mermaid Parade pays homage to Coney Island's forgotten Mardi Gras which lasted from 1903 to 1954, and draws from a host of other sources resulting in a wonderful and wacky event” (http://www.coneyisland.com/mermaid.shtml). If you’ve ever seen this thing, you shudder to think what those other sources might be and possibly may agree that some things are better forgotten. Need more info? “The Mermaid Parade is an art parade, not a showcase for naked girls” See, how that works is that the girls put ,ah, SHELLS and, ahm, small pieces of , ah, THINGS to cover the, ah, PARTS that would, ahm, CONTRIBUTE TO NAKIDITY!. Yeah. So, that way, it’s an ART PARADE! Even Republicans would agree with that, right? And because it’s an ART PARADE, it’s O.K. to bring kids. Of all ages. And if you want the party to continue, you can go to the Mermaid’s Ball which had live entertainment including such renowned acts as Bambi the Mermaid, Bunny Love, Jo Boobs, Little Brooklyn, Tigger, Dottie Lux and others. Because, it’s an ART BALL. To go with the ART PARADE! What it breaks down to is this: On this one day of the year, the lines for Nathan’s hot dogs are truly ridiculous, you don’t have to pay to see the freak show, and if you’re a twelve year old boy, you think you’ve died and gone to erotic heaven.(SPIDERMAN SPIDERMAN SPIDERMAN). It’s a day when auxiliary policemen can strut their stuff (“You can’t cross the street here. Only from the other side” “Why not” “I don’t know. I don’t make the rules.”) and no one can get to the bathrooms. (“I gotta get to the bathroom” “Then you have to find the end of the parade and cross there” “Where’s that?” “I don’t know. I don’t make the rules”). But the weather was glorious.

Before the Game

I was with my son John and we decided that the boardwalk and sidewalk were too crowded (“Please move up closer to the buildings. I have to keep a lane open” “Where do you want us to go?” “I don’t know. I don’t make the rules”) so we decided to go over to Keyspan a little early and eat over at the ballpark. As we approached the stadium, we hear a band playing really loudly in front of Peggy O’Neils. John started to comment on the age of the guitar player but then we come around the front of the platform and see the lead singer. This is a guy with a sleeveless shirt, a beer belly and flabby arms. It’s really hard to project edgy when you look like you should be sitting in a recliner holding a remote control and a Bud with a bowl of Cheetos. And a folk/rock version of “You Really Got Me” by the Kinks doesn’t cut it. But their album will be out in September. If only we could remember the name of the band.

We walk in the Park and they are giving out piggy banks to the kids. I remind them that I am with my son but the girl at the gate says “but he’s taller than you are”. Evidently, Brooklyn has a height requirement. So we don’t get the crappy giveaway (actually, I saw some kid with it and it was really cool. A big baseball with a slot in it and the words “Brooklyn Cyclones” on the side. Damn those restrictions!) but we decide to go and get some food and watch a little of the pregame warmups. We cruise the concourse and pass most of the stands because I’ve been there before and I know where the outside grille is so that even if we can’t get to Nathans for a tube steak, we can have a burger from the barbie, and I know it’s going to be good because we’re early and they’re just starting to cook them. So, you’re probably asking yourself, how do you mess up barbeque on a propane grille? I’m no expert but I’m guessing that starting to cook without the burners on is the first step. And I’ll bet that the frozen patties melted in the sun which is why they had that glazed dead meat look to them when the barbequer took them off the grille. We decided not to eat there. We grabbed some food from the concession stand and sat down. The loudspeakers were blasting some bad rap during the warmups and John commented that classic rock might be more appropriate given the setting and I couldn’t agree more (“Dust in the Wind, All we are…” Hey! There was a continuous breeze blowing off the ocean). For those of you who have never been to Keystone, it is next to the boardwalk at Coney Island, right on the ocean. If you look to left field, you can see the amusement park with the famous Cyclone wooden roller coaster (both a New York and National landmark) so it’s really nice in a Brooklyn kind of way. The crowd was coming in and King Henry (think of Ralph Kramden and Bobby Bacala’s love child) was greeting people at the top of the stairs in a loud voice, there was a brass and horn section playing classic ragtime (no rythym section, just the horns in a musical scratch the blackboard with your fingernails kind of way), and maybe every third guy coming in was wearing a wife beater t-shirt with a Cyclone’s baseball hat. Just a normal day at the ballpark in Brooklyn. We spent the rest of the pregame watching the starting pitcher warming up in the bullpen. The pitching coach was out there eating a bag of peanuts, talking to the pitcher in English and the catcher in Spanish. Communication is the key to all things.

THE GAME

We made our way to our seats and found a couple of people from the office there. The reason we were at this game is that it was our annual summer department outing to see the Cyclones. This is our fourth year and I definitely always look forward to it. We were expecting over twenty folks but at the beginning of the game there were only about eight of us. Must be a traffic problem (Mermaid Parade?) and the stadium was filling up slower than usual. They announce the ceremonial first pitch, several times, (so we’re not sure which one was the actual FIRST pitch) and then the national anthem, to be sung by a young woman in tribute to her father. Even though we didn’t know why, it seemed like a nice gesture. The boy scout color guard came marching on the field (because it was boy scout day at the ballpark. Right after the Mermaid Parade.) and they marched to the front of the pitching mound facing the crowd. That’s when about 50 other people came from out of the stands, walked to the infield and stood facing the flag in center field. We didn’t know where to look! The young songstress stepped to the mike and began. “Ohh say can you see, By the dawns early light …” Smooth opening. So far so good. “Twas so proudly we hailed, at the twilights last gleaming” Starting to quiver on the upper notes, but what the heck, it’s for her dad. And it went on like that for the first part of the song. I wasn’t sure she was going to be able to hit the high notes but I knew I was pulling for her. She finished up the rest of the beginning of the song in the same fashion and then, it happened. On the line “And the rockets red glare” she dropped down four octaves so that in the blink of an eye, our budding mezzo soprano became a Budweiser frog, in a completely different key. And I wasn’t the only one who noticed. But it was for her dad, and we were in Brooklyn, on the beach, with the Boy Scouts and the Mermaids and DAMN. She got a standing ovation! Ok, we were already up, but it was a moment!

The game starts and we realize that there is a cheering section for the opposing pitcher that had come down from Hudson Valley with matching t-shirts and hats. John suggested that maybe they were the pitchers roommates and that he finally got them to come to a game (“C’mon dudes. It’s on the beach and I’ll buy the beer”). Between us and them was a couple of rows of little smart aleks, half in Yankee shirts, dissing our buddy The Tank (“I don't want to be old like you" when I catch a foul ball), and generally working on growing up Brooklyn. Both the out-of-towners and the little brats had a freakoid who looked like he now lived in the gym after he got out of prison, so nobody was pushing too hard. On the field, Hudson Valley gets off to an early 1-0 lead and the roommates are losing their minds. Meanwhile, more of the people from the office arrive including the big boss, Director Steve, wearing a hat that looks like a Bensonhurst version of the one on the cover of Frank’s “Songs for Swinging Lovers”. Sweeet! The Cyclones get out of the inning and the madness begins. Minor league baseball in Brooklyn is different. They stop playing the game and loud stuff starts happening. From tossing water balloons, to throwing beanbags through holes, to dancing on the dugout, the whole idea is to keep everyone engaged and give away stuff. Several times they come out and throw T-shirts to the crowd. I’m usually never near any of these things but this time one went flying over our heads, bounced off a guy with crutches, and popped back into the arms of one of the women in our group We had a t-shirt winner. I think we were all proud of that. The game goes on and the Cyclones start chipping away at the roommate. The cheering section is quiet. But now the score is tied, then the Renegades go back on top, but here come the Cyclones. And so it goes till around the sixth inning. And then it’s time for the Nathan’s Hot Dog Race.

The Nathan’s Hot Dog Race is where they show a film of 3 guys dressed in hot dog suits running down Surf Ave from Nathan’s to the corner of the ballpark where the left field gate flies open and Live, and in Person, the 3 dogs come running in, bumble their way down the line, and someone wins. Big Whoop! Except this year. When the tubers were somewhere between first and home, a drunk comes barreling out of the stands and slides into home plate. Safe! He’s announced as the winner by King Henry, everyone cheers, and the cops lead him away. (“I don’t know. I don’t make the rules”). Also, right around this time, we’ve become aware of the fact that a couple of rows down from us, a group has started putting on hazmat suits. And because we’re in Brooklyn, nobody notices or cares.

The Cyclones finally break open the game in the eighth inning and now all they have to do is get through the ninth and the game will be over. Easier said than done. The relief specialist comes in and he must have watched the “Bad News Bears” before the game because two guys are immediately on base. The crowd is getting restless but we have a four run lead. Now the outfielders start dropping fly balls but miraculously, no one scores. Finally, someone finally catches one and the game is over. As we start to leave the park, the announcer comes and tells us “If you’re going on the Belt Parkway, go to Nathans and have a hot dog. It’s backed waaaay up”. Priceless.

At the end of the day, I was at a baseball game with my son and some friends, enjoying a hot dog and having a great time . And I gotta say, it just doesn’t get any better than that. We’re going back to Steve and Lori’s for a little after game get together, and just for a moment, life is perfect. And we’ll be coming back again next year to do it again.

Written by Medford Bob and Posted by The Tank.

Medford Bob Says

Saturday, June 30, 2007 2:55:39 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)

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