As much as life sometimes hurts, you have to be honest with God, your friends/family, and yourself. Though not for a lack of trying, Valentine's Day has never been a good holiday for the Tank. The following reasons summarize my experiences and feelings about Valentine's Day:
(2) Since I am Eastern Orthodox Christian, I believe in a real saint,
Saint Tryphon (pronounced TREE-foon), not a Hallmark Holiday like Valentine's Day. Saint Tryphon's Day is also celebrated on February 14 (February 1 on the Julian/Old Calendar). Saint Tryphon is the patron saint of farmers, gardeners, and wine growers. For all you wine connoisseurs, Saint Tryphon is your patron saint.
While at friends of the family's house for their patron saint (Saint Tryphon's Day) 1999 or 2000, I sat down after a long day of work and started to eat some delicious soup. Before my second spoonful of soup, this total stranger started asking me if married. I replied no and he criticized me for not being so. I breathed deeply, stared at him like who-the-heck-are-you, but kept my cool. This was difficult to answer because I wanted to be honest as I wanted to marry either of the daugthers in that same house including one, Z, that double-crossed me in 1996. Anyway, by the end of the night, the guy kind of confessed that he was in a bad marriage and apologized for taking it on me. We all ended up watching basketball and let by-gones be by-gones.
Coincidentally, my paternal grandfather was a farmer and wine grower and was born on Saint Tryphon's Day. I never got to meet Grandpa while he was alive but hope to meet him someday in Heaven, R.I.P. Grandpa.
(3) Valentine's Day 2005 was pretty painful as my date canceled that afternoon but at least she had the courtesy to call. By covering for Brooklyn Brian who had a date but had to cover after Kelvin called out, I made "lemons into lemonade" as Medford Bob says. I hope to cash in that good karma in some day. I used the time to catch up on some work and made some overtime just before my trip later to Antarctica later that week where I met Steve, Linda, and the rest of Antarcticamaniacs.
(4) Valentine's Day 2003 was more dangerous than painful. I wanted to date someone in the weeks leading up to Valentine's Day but disappointed that it didn't work out. That was the least of my problems. As I was riding to work that fateful day, my D (now Q) train was stopped at Parkside Avenue because of "electrical problems" at the next stop, Prospect Park. I was about 45 minutes late to work and really pissed off. I found out later from my roommate and NYC Subway Motorman, MTA Ray, that the "electrical problem" was really a "b*mb scare". No one was hurt thank God.
(5) Valentine's Day 2007. I was hoping to go out with a friend from Church but she had to travel to San Francisco for business at the last minute. I asked a couple of other lady friends that I know if they wanted to go out as friends but one is spending time with her uncle who is dying of cancer and spending his final days in hospice. Another lady friend's brother died in a fire the other day and she is still mourning his passing. I have had women who haven't wanted to go out with me before but this is so next level if they are pulling my leg. In a couple of weeks, I can imagine hearing "And the Oscar for the woman who doesn't want to go out with the Tank..." Seriously, they both seemed sincere and hope they aren't pulling a "Terrell Owens overdose" while his publicist happened to be at his house. My prayers are with them and their families.
Not wanting to risk causing any more tragedy, I am not going to ask anyone else out. I am trying to sell my Rod Stewart Valentine's Day tickets at Madison Square Garden (Section 310, Row D, Seats 9 and 10, $99.50 each, face value, if you are interested). The tickets aren't cursed, I am. Since I couldn't go to Rod Stewart's February 8 concert because I had to cover for Dominican Luis and I can't make the February 21 concert because I am out of town on vacation, I bought a single backup ticket a couple of hours ago as I have never seen Rod Stewart in concert. The show must go on because you never know how many years he going to be touring.
For all the heartache I have shared with you, I think I am destined to get into the relationship advice business. I can offer more perspective than Dr. Phil, Dr. John Gray (AKA the Mars/Venus Idiot), eHarmony.com, etc. I can help heal the world. Like the aforementioned, I may even be able to monetize this pain. I have to talk to Steve about setting up the premium part of the site. Please keep watching this space for more relationship advice. To paraphrase former President Clinton, "The Tank has felt your pain (and then some)."
As Cubs fans always say, there's always next year. For those of you who observe Valentine's Day and/or Saint Tryphon's Day today, enjoy! Happy Chinese New Year!
Posted by the Tank in NY.