 Sunday, April 08, 2007
Will the Tank Conquer His Hoola Hoop Demons and Win Musical Chairs?
It's time for everyone's favorite adult co-ed game show, Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister, which features kids games like Musical Chairs, Name That Tune, and Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister. Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister
offers men the opportunity to participate as they are not allowed in Amateur Female Jello Wrestling.
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The house band warmed the crowd up with classics like "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Bungles and "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi.
Your co-hosts Colin and Jessica rally the crowd with the Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister theme and explain the rules. Colin also has in his own band. Check out Willpilotmusic! Good rocking music!
Without further ado, it's time for Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister.
Contest #1: Musical Chairs: FireFlies versus Watchers. Round and round they go to the tune of the Pussycat Dolls' "Doncha Ya" ("Milkshake") song.
As the competitors try to balance holding onto to their beers as they contest for position for an open chair, some unfortunately spills. "No crying over spilled beer," Colin quips.
The band changes speed and it's down to Seth of the FireFlies versus Sheena.
Seth was a gentleman and yielded his seat to Sheena.
Voyeurs scored their first point.
(1B) Voyeurs versus Church: The Tank made the final five in his last appearance and hopes to do better this time. Team Church is really strong with Church, Chia, Dana, and the Tank. Team Church has three of the final four competitors -- almost like the 1985 Final Four with Big East Powers Georgetown, Saint John's, and eventual champion Villanova. Andrea from Team Voyeurs is eliminated so Team Church wins by default.
Who will be the eventual individual champion? Chia is the next to be eliminated. It's down to the Tank and Church. The competition is fierce as Church and the Tank are two equally rugged men. Round and round they go, the music stops, and Church and the Tank battle for position. This is not for the faint of heart. The Tank and Church battle for the chair like a basketball rebound ala the Bruise Brothers, Jeff Ruland and Rick Mahorn, battling each other instead of the other team. It's almost like the old Dodge Ram commercial where the two rams collide. The Tank locks in, lowers his left shoulder, and plants his right leg in the floor. This is reminscient of when he became the King of the Metallica Mosh Pit at Woodstock 1999. BTW, the look at James Hetfield's face was priceless as the Tank wore Ric "The Nature Boy" Flair's t-shirt and bellowed his trademark "Wooooo!" into the Upstate New York night. 
The Tank conquers his hoola hoop demons and wins the Musical Chairs competition. Wooooo!
Contest #2: Pass the Orange Relay:
(2A) The FireFlies versus the Watchers.
Person #4 on the Watchers lost the orange so they had to go back to the beginning.
Person #3 on the Watchers (DBA the FireFlies) lost the orange. "The FireFlies can play music but can the win the relay?" Colin muses.
Both teams are dead even down to the beer chugging leg and the FireFlies win their second point.
(2B) Voyeurs versus Team Church:
The Tank passed the orange to Chia, Chia is an ace hoola hooper. Chia passed it to Zach but the orange slipped. Church threw it back to the Tank who restarted it. The Voyeurs had a lead but their beer drinker dropped the orange. Team Church's rally anchored by Church's excellent beer drinking won the day for Team Church and puts them in the lead with 2 points.
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As the Ramblers take the stage, the Tank wishes Jessica luck in her upcoming biathlon. Go Jessica Go!
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Event #3 Flip Cup: One beer per team.
(3A) Team Church versus the FireFlies: As Chia doesn't drink beer and the Tank is the world's heaviest lightweight drinker, we give our beer to Church, our MVD, Most Valuable Drinker.
Team Church takes an early lead and extends it as Church is the fastest beer drinker in the land. But, he unfortunately could not flip the cup onto the table so the FireFlies ties Team Church for the lead at 2
points each.
(3B) Voyeurs versus the Watchers:
In a closely contested race, the Voyeurs lose a tough one to the Watchers. Dana slams her cup in defeat.
The Watchers score their first point.
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*** Upcoming Events FYI:
(A) Due to the Easter and Passover Holiday Weekend, we'll skip the second Sunday of April. Therefore, Sunday April 15, is the next Amateur Female Jello Wrestling at Don Hill's and Sunday, April 22, is the next
Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister back at Arlene's Grocery.
(B) DJ Lokey is spinning the tunes.
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Event #4 Name That Tune: Yes, name the tune but also continue with the chorus.
The FireFlies have the advantage as they are solid musical team. What was the name of the first tune? Wow! That was fast. Point to the FireFlies. They continue to roll with the following:
"Like being abused." - FireFlies
"I touch myself" - Watchers
"The boys are back in town" - FireFlies
"I am loser baby" Church but didn't get artist, Beck.
"Killing Me Softly" - FireFlies. For a bonus point, Colin asks who Roberta Flack wrote that song about. Not even the FireFlies knew that the answer was Stevie Wonder.
"Satisfaction" - Not sure who got that point.
"Holiday" - The Tank does his best Madonna impersonation. Point to Team Church. Boo yeah!
"Safety Dance" - Watchers.
"Come on Light My Fire" - FireFlies.
"Bohemian Rhapsody" - Not sure who got that one.
"Life is a highway" - Voyeurs.
The FireFlies obviously have an unfair advantage.
At the end of Name That Tune, the FireFlies have the lead with 8 points with the Watchers (5 points), Team Church (3 points), Voyeurs (3 points), Colin (1 point).
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Event #5 Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister: The event you all have been waiting for....
After the crisco is spread on the Twister mat, all competitors must put their hands in Crisco:
Church and Chia compete for Team Church and Zach and Jeremy compete for Team Voyeurs.
Right hand green
Left hand yellow
Right foot yellow
Right foot green
Right foot red
Left hand red
Left foot green - Church is out
Right foot blue
Right hand yellow
Right foot green
Right foot yellow
Left hand green
Left foot red - Jeremy is out.
Left foot green
Right foot red
Left hand red
Right hand green
Left foot yellow - photo
Left foot green - Chia is out
Zach is the winner - One point for the Watchers.
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Voyeurs versus FireFlies:
Dana and Dan compete for the FireFlies
Colin and Sheena compete for the Voyeurs.
The Twister move by move follows below:
Right foot green
Left hand yellow
Right foot red
Left hand green
Right hand yellow
Left foot blue
Right foot blue
Left hand red - Colin is out
Left hand yellow
Right foot green
Left foot red
Right hand red
Left foot yellow - Sheena is out
Right foot red
Left foot green
Left hand blue - Dana is out
Dan from the FireFlies wins.
Team FireFlies is victorious with 9 points, followed by the Watchers 6, Team Church and the Voyeurs tied for third with 3, Colin has 1 point.
Until next time at Don Hill's on April 15 for Amateur Female Jello Wrestling and Arlene's Grocery for Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister on April 22, this the newly crowned Musical Chairs Champion Tank reporting live from Arlene's Grocery on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.
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