 Friday, December 01, 2006
Only 1.5 Games from being the 3rd Seed in the Eastern Conference
November came and went and I think (and hope) that the Knicks weathered the storm with a 6-11 record. (The Knicks lost to Detroit Friday night to begin December on the wrong foot but the game was in Detroit who is still an Eastern Conference power.) Since all other teams in the Atlantic Division are below .500, the Knicks are only 1.5 games games behind the 5-9 Nets for the best record in the Atlantic Division which would make them the #3 Seed in the Eastern Conference. Granted the winner of a division should be above .500 but this is the Atlantic Division after all. If the Knicks don't win the division, they are only 1.5 games out of the 8th playoff seed. As Medford Bob often says, "you (The Tank) make lemonade out of lemons."
The Knicks also had the third best road record in the entire conference, 5-6, which is not bad after finishing home and away games with Western Conference powers Houston and San Antonio. Furthermore, the Knicks have a new coach in Isaiah Thomas and new players learning a new system.
Problem: To boot, the Knicks are saddled with Steve "Team Cancer" Francis, "Starbury", and Eddie Curry. I thought manning the Baseball Suicide Hotline and Corporate Crisis Hotline was bad enough; ESPN 1050 AM hosts Max Kellerman and Stephen A. Smith openly questioned the underperforming Knicks on their radio shows earlier this week. For instance, Kellerman preferred that Curry succumb "to a heart attack and die on the court" rather than not hustle on defense. Stephen A.'s critique was slightly less critical in promising to "crucify" Marbury if he ever refers to himself as "Starbury" ever again without backing it up.
Solution: The Tank almost witnessed the Knicks first home victory against the LeBron James and the Cavs a couple weeks ago in a close 102-96 loss. A couple of days later, Steve took his sister, Carol, and her children, Matthew and Allison, to the Knicks first and only home victory over the Wizards.
Since the Knicks have not yet accepted my earlier business plan to the Knicks owner James L. Dolan for my Danish friend Tina to travel back to the City as she witnessed the Knicks first home victory last season, I propose that Steve, his sister and her children be the Knicks official good luck charms. Under terms to be disclosed publicly at a later date, I have built in incentive clauses for each victory that Steve/Carol/Matthew/Allison attend that will ensure (1) happy Knicks fans and critics, (2) a fuller and more profitable Madison $quare Garden, and (3) the financial security of Steve, his loved ones, and The Tank, their fearless and reasonable agent. If the Knicks win five home games out of the next 34 home games this season, Matthew and Allison are going to be the earliest retirees in their grade school classes. Thundersticks for all their classmates. 
Dear Mr. Dolan,
You are currently paying $62 million to players no longer on your team and thus they can not help you win. I have the "good luck charms" solution to help the Knicks win their home games, boost attendance and increase revenue for you. Please "focus" on the Knicks for a mere moment instead of your mid-life crisis rock band, accept the mutually beneficial terms (legalese not included to bore our beloved readers), and sign on the dotted line -- many thanks in advance.
Sincerely and Go Knicks!
The Tank
Posted by an anxious and hopeful Tank in NY.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
College Football Conference Championship Game Picks
The Tank thankfully went 2-1 in his college picks last week, touch wood. My predicted winners are in bold in decreasing order of probability.
#2 USC should handily beat cross-town rival UCLA to set up a BCS Championship Showdown with Ohio State.
#8 Oklahoma beats #19 Nebraska in the Big Twelve Championship Game in Kansas City, Missouri.
Sorry Kathleen, #15 West Virginia is at home and will get by #13 Rutgers.
The Tank was impressed by #16 Wake Forest's win over Boston College on Saturday, November 4, as he was preparing for the NYC Marathon. #23 Georgia Tech is tough and gave Notre Dame a run for its money earlier this season. Wake Forest beats Georgia Tech in a close game on neutral turf in Jacksonville, Florida, in the ACC Championship Game.
Game to Avoid Picking:
#4 Florida should beat #8 Arkansas in the SEC Championship Game. If USC slips in their 4:30 p.m. Eastern Time game, Florida has a chance to leapfrog #3 Michigan and get to meet Ohio State. However, the Florida game doesn't start until 6 p.m. Eastern and USC should be in control by then. After they let me down last week against LSU (the only pick that went wrong), Arkansas might bounce back as Florida's national championship dreams perish.
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Pro Football Picks
The picks start early this week because the NFL Network's TV Game Thursday night. Remember, the Tank's picks are different from Vegas because I predict the winner in bold, NOT the team to beat the point spread or under/over which can both change up to kickoff. Furthermore, Vegas wants the "vig" or to balance out the gambling money are pushed to balance the money between the teams.
Disclaimer: Though the Tank was thankfully 11-5 last week (touch wood), past performance is NOT an indicator of future performance. Please don't bet the farm and/or your paycheck on these games as I already manning the Baseball Suicide Hotline and about to start the Knicks Hotline. Good luck!
"Locks":
Bears beat the visiting Vikings.
The Patriots should pummel the visiting Lions.
Should Win:
The Colts should beat an improving Titans team led by Vince Young.
The Jets go into tough Lambeau Field and beat the Packers in a close game.
Kansas City is coming off a big Thanksgiving win against Jake Plummer and the Broncos. (Darn you Plummer!) Furthermore, Priest Holmes is out for the season. Cleveland is improving this season but the Chiefs should barely carry the day.
San Diego travels from the beach for the blustry Buffalo. The Chargers should win by a touchdown or less.
The Rams beat the visiting Cardinals.
The Saints, America's Team, beats the visiting 49ers. Go Saints!
The Raiders gets a slight edge because they host the tough Texans.
In a Florida showdown, the Dolphins hit a bump in the road against the visiting Jaguars.
The Steelers show some pride and beat the Bucs who rarely play well in the cold. Big Ben has more injuries than the Tank. He needs to get healthy on the bench. Please start Charlie Batch.
The Seahawks should beat the Broncos though Jake Plummer is not starting. Let the Jay Cuttler era begin. I knew I should have picked the Chiefs last week.
The Panthers beat the Eagles.
Games to Avoid Picking (if possible):
Baltimore at Cincinnati. This is a trap game because Baltimore is coming off a shutout of the Steelers but the Bengals need to win to stay in the playoff hunt and are at home. The Bengals win a very close game.
Atlanta at Washington. Washington is coming off a big win and the Falcons are coming off a big loss which is the opposite of what I predicted last week. Michael Vick won't realize his true potential until the Falcons design an offense around him. I don't know how many more years I'll have to wait but they'll probably do it this weekend since I pick the Redskins to win.
Cowboys at Giants. The Giants COLLAPSED last week against the Titans. They are due to win, MUST WIN, and are at home. If any of these three factors was absent, I would pick the Cowboys. If they lose this one, I am may not ever pick the Giants ever again.
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Locked in the Gym - True Story
After intense emotional therapy, I can now share the following story with you.
Training for a marathon has its share of obstacles and I encountered a unique situation a couple of months ago.
I was finishing up my workout and heard the manager say through the locker room entrance that he was locking up soon. I looked at my watch and it read 8:59 pm. OK, the gym closes at 9 pm and I am almost done. I finished packing my clothes. As I exited the locker-room to walk up the stairs to leave the gym, an alarm bell started ringing very LOUDLY!
What's happening? I am trying to leave the gym NOT break into it. I looked around and didn't see anyone. The lights were out. I went to the front door and saw that it was locked. Did the manager forget about me? The alarm continued to ring as I unlocked the front door to LEAVE the gym. I saw a doorman in the building next door and asked him if he saw anyone leave. He replied no as the alarm continued to ring. We tried to figure out what to do and I asked him to watch my gym bag as I went back inside and checked both locker rooms. Being a gentleman, I of course knocked on the Ladies Room door and asked if anyone was there. No one answered and then I checked back upstairs and there was no one there. I didn't know what to do as I wanted to go to watch KAL, a Roma (Gypsy) band, at 9:30 pm and wanted to grab something to eat. I conferred with the doorman and asked him to watch the building as I went over to Ray's Pizza to grab something to eat. (He didn't want anything to eat.). I went back to the gym and the doorman didn't see anyone. I tipped him a few bucks and asked him to watch the building until the gym opened in the morning. The show must go on and I was running late to Joe's Pub right around the corner.
The concert was good and I enjoyed the rest of the evening.
When I went to the gym the next weekend (as I normally workout at the downtown gym during the week), the manager was very apologetic as my motion from leaving the locker-room activated the alarm. After the alarm went off, he was alerted on his beeper. He called his colleague who lived nearby and turned off the alarm around 9:40 pm. He apologized again and gave me some complimentary vitamin waters as endorsed by Mets star third baseman David Wright. I won't name the vitamin water until they advertise with us.
Posted by The Tank in NY.
 MLB | Running
 Tuesday, November 28, 2006 11:47:00 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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Monday, November 27, 2006
TriNations Rugby Final
When the Tank suggested I go see the TriNations rugby final, since I was going to be in Sydney that day, it seemed like a good idea, although I was somewhat surprised that I was still able to get a ticket less than a week before the game - although I was later told by several people that Rugby League (which is a different game than rugby union, which is what Americans generally think of as rugby) isn't that popular in Sydney, and the stadium wasn't full to capacity (although attendance was over 27,000 people), apparently there has been some discussion of moving the Tri Nations games from Sydney to another part of Australia where the game is more popular, so I may have seen one of the last Tri Nations games in Sydney
- there were tons of Kiwis and Aussies in the crowd, seemed to be almost 50-50, but the vibe was more of a friendly rivalry (i.e. Mets-Yankees) than a real hatred between the sides -
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Kiwi Daniel had explained that rugby league is a cross between American football and traditional rugby - Daniel also recommended that I root for the Kiwis, which didn't strike me as such a good idea, given that it was Aussie turf - I was planning on taking Peter's recommendation that I "root for the ref," but it seemed like the one thing that both the Aussie and the Kiwi fans could agree on was hating the ref, so I decided that total neutrality was probably the route to go (especially since I was surrounded by vocal fans of both teams) - the fans really had gone all out, there was even one set of Kiwi fans a few rows over from me that had gone all out with afro wigs and black face and body paint (which didn't seem to bother anyone, can't quite imagine anyone doing that in the states somehow . . . although the overall impression was more of a member of Kiss than anything else . . .
. ) -
on the way to the bus to the match, Aussie Dan gave me a quick rundown on the main rules of the game - each side gets six "tackles" (the same thing as downs in American football, but with the action not stopping between tackles) before the ball changes possession (unless intercepted), although, like in American football, no team actually gets to the sixth tackle, they "do something stupid" before that point (I mentioned Hail Mary passes, and Dan agreed that was the general idea) - Dan also told me that the defending team would try to hold down the player as long as possible so that the defensive players had as much time as possible to get into position before the ball started moving again (which helped explain why the player who had been tackled struggled so hard to get back to his feet as quickly as possible) -
the first sign when I arrived at the stadium that I was no longer in New York was the truck taking bets on the game just outside of the stadium (I considered it, but decided that I didn't know enough about which team was favored to tell if the odds were good or not) - I made my way into the stadium and to my seat, which ended up being three rows off the field, pretty amazing to be able to see the players up close, they really are amazing athletes, quite strong but also very fast - and the game moves amazingly quickly, quite different from American football with the constant starts and stops -
and then I made a big mistake - I was running a bit late, so I went right to my seat, which was dead center in the middle of a row of 25 and I didn't realize that there are no beer vendors (Steve would have been out of a job) like at American stadiums, so I would have to make all those people get up again to get a beer - in the interest of international relations, I decided to hold off on the beer run for a while - anyway, the game was about to start, the players came out to fireworks at the goal lines, both national anthems were sung and then the Kiwis did the haka - game on -
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the Aussies score a goal (kicked in) for the first two points, then they score the first try (touchdown, worth 4 points) and convert the try (extra point, or in this case two points) - the Kiwis also kick in a goal for two points, then they score a try and convert it while I'm on a beer run (I finally couldn't hold out any longer, especially after the tip from the guy sitting next to me to walk over a few aisles for shorter beer lines) - there were separate beer and food "queues" (lines), huge queues at all the beer vendors and no one at all at the food vendors, guess some stereotypes are accurate - at the half, Aussies 10, Kiwis 6 -
the second half started, and the Kiwis scored another try, unfortunately they missed the conversion, so the score was tied at 10 - then the Aussies scored a goal on a penalty to go up by two, but the Kiwis also scored a goal on a penalty, score tied at 12-12 - in the very last seconds of regular time, the Aussies had a great run, and it looks like they may have scored a try, but on review of the video replay (which is a great idea, in case any MLB officials are reading this . . . . ), its ruled a knock forward, no try, and we're into a 5 minute first OT - at the end of 5 minutes, no score, so the announcer says that the clock will now run until either side scores (I guess it isn't very common to need more than one overtime, since the fans next to me had been wondering what would happen after the first overtime) -
but the second OT doesn't last long, the Aussies have a breakaway run and score a try about a minute and a half into it, game over, Aussies win, the crowd goes wild (well, half the crowd anyway . . . . ) - I decide to try to get ahead of the crowd and skip the awarding of the trophy, but as I walk away from the stadium I hear the strains of "we are the champions" (some things seem to be relatively universal in sports . . .
) - overall an amazing experience and one that was a good talking point in the wineries in the Hunter Valley on Sunday and Monday –
Posted by Linda, Live! From the TriNations Rugby Final in Sydney.
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Live! | Rugby
Monday, November 27, 2006 7:56:26 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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Saturday, November 25, 2006
Did AL MVP voters even bother to read the ballot?
I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving Dinner. One thing still stuck in my gut is the AL MVP vote won by Minnesota First Baseman Justin Morneau. Did Morneau have a great year? Yes. Was he even the most valuable player on his team? No.
Twins Catcher Joe Mauer won the freaking batting title, the first catcher to do so in decades. Mauer's task was complicated by having to catch an injury riddled Twins pitching staff. Speaking of Twins pitchers, what about Johan Santana? He deserves as much if not more MVP consideration than Morneau. Is this the rumblings of an angry Yankees fan? Yes.
I will not even name nor dignify the Chicago writer who voted Derek Jeter sixth. Which steroid or other prohibited substance was he taking?
Derek had a great year! It was his best individual year ever winning the Gold Glove and losing out to Mauer for the batting title on the last game of the season which the Tank attended. Derek carried a Yankee team riddled by injuries to Gary Sheffield and Hideki Matsui and the often emotionally impaired Alex Rodriguez amongst others. Derek tutored budding stars like Melky Cabrera and Robinson Cano in the NY pressure cooker.
Should writers who vote for MVPs be required to watch games? Yes. Should the tested for drug abuse? Yes.
Posted by an angry and disappointed Tank in NY.
Friday, November 24, 2006
College Football Picks
# 3 USC beats #6 Notre Dame. IF USC wins this week against Notre Dame AND next week against UCLA, they have a shot to play in the BCS Championship Game as they may leapfrog Michigan in the polls which make up most of the B(C)S.
#9 LSU loses at #5 Arkansas. Arkansas needs help but IF they beat LSU AND #4 Florida in the SEC Championship Game AND USC loses against Notre Dame and/or UCLA, Arkansas COULD also leapfrog Michigan.
The above paragraph will probably drive the Tank into Bellevue because Division I-A Football doesn't have a playoff like every other sport on the planet, collegiate or professional. The Tank needs closure. A means to help my fragile mental state is a playoff of the top four teams, i.e. #1 versus #4 and #2 versus #3 in the first round and then the winners of those two games meet for the B(C)S Championship.
As much it pains me to write this, Kathleen's #15 Rutgers Scarlet Knights beat my beloved Syracuse Orangemen.
Posted by a frazzled and emotionally fragile Tank on the fast track to Bellevue.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Happy Thanksgiving! Pro Football Picks
Football is one the of the Tank's patent pending of "Fundamentals of Life" along with Family, Faith, Food, and Fun. Thanksgiving is the epitome of this philosophy, otherwise known as "Tankism".
Winning teams are predicted in BOLD.
"Easy" Picks:
San Diego should roll over Oakland. If there is ever a thing called a lock, this is the closest you will find.
Eagles fans like my friends Sean and Jennifer have a better chance of winning the Lottery than Philadelphia making the playoffs or even beating the Colts without Donovan McNabb. The Tank won't guarantee anything except the Existence of God and if the Sun will rise tomorrow in the East tomorrow but this is darn close. Colts win big at home, especially after suffering their first loss to the Cowboys last week.
Seattle beats Green Bay on Brett Favre's reunion with former coach Mike Holmgren.
Should Win:
Miami beats Detroit on Joey Harrington's return to Detroit. Is Joey Harrington the next Joe Montana as he was hyped coming out of college? No, but it would have helped if he had a healthy offensive line when he played in Detroit. He'll try to show Detroit their mistake. Matt Millen was a great player but he is almost as bad of an executive as Isaiah Thomas. At least the Lions aren't paying $62 million to players no longer on their roster like the Knicks.
Dallas is on a roll and should beat Tampa Bay. However, you're on top of the NFC East one week and at the bottom the next. I once dated a woman named "Momentum". Don't ask since we're not going out anymore.
Denver beats Kansas City in a tough, tough game to play at Kansas City (as well as predict for the Tank). The Broncos need to bounce back after a tough loss to the Chargers.
The Giants must, will, and better bounce back against Tennessee.
The Jets will bounce back and beat the improving Texans.
Arizona loses on Dennis Green's return to Minnesota.
Carolina beats Washington. The Redskins only hope is if Daniel Snyder brought back some good karma back from his business partner Tom Cruise's wedding.
The improving 49ers lose a tough game at Saint Louis.
Jacksonville should roll over the Bills as much as it pains me to write it.
Cincinnati beats the Browns on the third toughest game of the week to pick because the Browns are getting better .
Toss-Up / Avoid picking if you can in your office pool:
Baltimore should end the Steelers season by beating them. Ray Lewis' absence will make this game closer than it should be. I wouldn't be surprised by a Steelers upset especially since all games from here on out are "must win".
Atlanta only beats New Orleans because they are at home. Michael Vick is great but so inconsistent that I try to avoid picking games he plays.
New England beats the visiting Bears in a slugfest. A potential game of the year nominee.
I am thankful to Steve for going along with this crazy and fun blog idea a few short months ago and to all our readers for their encouragement and feedback. Safe travels to all, especially to Linda on her Australian vacation.
Posted by a grateful and thankful Tank on Thanksgiving enroute home to beautiful Upstate NY.
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