 Saturday, January 27, 2007
Let's Go Crawford!
After listening to the Knicks-Heat game this past Monday evening while grabbing a bite to eat, I was afraid to check the score of Friday night's rematch at the Garden before I went to bed this morning. I braced myself for another 27-0 run that the Heat ran off against the Knicks WITHOUT D-Wade and Shaq on Monday. Much to my pleasant surprise, Jamal Crawford hit 16 consecutive shots and scored 52 points enroute to the Knicks 116-96 victory over the Heat.
Wow! Dyno-mite!
Perspective: With all this season's ups and downs, the Knicks are only 3.5 games out of first place of the Atlantic Division behind the Raptors and only 2.0 games behind the Nets for the eighth and final playoff spot in the Eastern Conference. This is still time for the Knicks to make a run at the playoffs.
Posted by The Tank in NY.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Super Bowl XLI Picks Congratulations!
The Tank always likes to receive e-mails from his friends. Please find the following e-mail from Buffalo Steve (as we always review our pre-season picks just before the Big Game):
Dear Tank/Marathon Man/Don Vito "The Godfather" (I am honored to be Godfather for both his daughters),
Congratulations on your picks getting to BG 41.
The Tank's Response:
Dear Buffalo Steve,
Mega thanks brother and I'll call you this weekend.
Sincerely,
The Tank / Marathon Man / Don Vito "The Godfather"
Posted by The Tank / Marathon Man / Don Vito "The Godfather" in NY.
P.S. The Tank plans to post his Super Bowl Prediction next week.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Smart Move: Mets Resign Willie
The New York Mets and manager Willie Randolph agreed to a new $5.65 million, three-year contract that runs through 2009. Getting Willie resigned was a very smart move. His discipline and professionalism are responsible for the Mets' turnaround.
Three weeks to spring training!
Posted by Steve in Istanbul
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Yankees Radio Announcer Calls The Tank
The Yankees Radio Announcer, John Sterling, called the Tank earlier today about the upcoming 2007 season.
Since the Tank does a good impersonation of "The Yankees Win, The Yankees Win!", John called me about the upcoming season and hoped to see me at the Stadium.
Though a pre-recorded message, the Tank was still grateful to hear from John. Before you know it, I could become a fill-in announcer if John ever needs a day off and/or when he chooses to retire.
Wait, my phone is ringing and the caller ID displays "Yankees". It's probably Mr. Steinbrenner asking me for advice. Gotta go... 
Posted by The Tank.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Cano to Give Up #22 for Rocket
On Tuesday, Robinson Cano gave #22 to take #24 according to ESPN 1050 AM New York. #24 is the reverse of his dad's favorite ball player, Jackie Robinson, who wore #42 which has been retired in MLB for almost a decade.
Furthermore, #22 is Roger Clemens' old number. Therefore, this is a promising sign for the return of the Rocket, God Willing.
Posted by a cautiously optimistic Tank.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister
Welcome back to Arlene's Grocery for the first ever Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister. A cameraman filmed Dana pouring and preparing the red colored Crisco to be used later. Just before the Attorneys were about to start the show, the Tank checked the scores of the NFL Conference Championships. Damn you Rex Grossman for beating my beloved Saints! You will not only pay for my hair restoration procedure but put my nephew and five Godchildren through college. This is personal! Go Colts! You better beat the Patriots. Back to the show, the Attorneys played good straight up rock and roll! They are a three man jam. Tight lyrics and solid playing. Well rehearsed but did a good job on the fly of integrating Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister lyrics. Kudos to Annie Rock for booking the best local up and coming bands. "Stay" is their last song before the game begins. The crowd cheers in approval. If it weren't Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister time, I wouldn't have a problem with these guys continue to "stay" and play on-stage. Well done gents! Attorneys you can like and trust. What a concept. The hosts are Colin and Jessica with help from lovely assistant Tiana, AKA "Santa's Little Helper" and "Ice Queen" from December 11 and January 14 editions of Amateur Female Jello Wrestling, respectively. The DJ is Dr Rosen Rosen. The teams are as follows: Team Dork
Bootylicious Funkarama
The Stalkers of Tony Danza
Team Twister
Pretzel Pressure
Team Caboose (late entry as more people showed up).
Without further ado, it's time for the first game which is musical chairs is played just like you played it as a kid and there are 11 chairs for the dozen competitors per round. (1A) First up, Team Dork versus Bootylicious Funkarama. To the tune of the Attorneys playing Blue Oyster Cult's classic "Fear the Reaper" with official cow-bell man John from the Ramblers, the Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister House band. Speaking of the Ramblers, the Tank is taken back to his youth of listening to country, roots, classical, new wave, and heavy metal music. In the past few years, I have gotten into the blues thanks to my buddy E.J. The Ramblers had a great set later in the show. John and the Tank would belt out Knight Ranger's "Sister Christian" later in the show. A kindred spirit indeed. Back to musical chairs, round and round they go. "Is it iTunes or the Attorneys?" Colin wonders aloud. Whoever bet on the lady in red lost. Late Entry: Team Caboose including Dana. The guy in the Harvard sweatshirt won for Team Dork. Team Dork takes the early lead.
(1B) The Stalkers of Tony Danza versus Team Twister.
As the Attorneys compete in musical chairs, DJ Dr Rosen Rosen plays the music. Dana insists on full participation for everyone. Though honored to be the official Judge of the first ever Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister, the Tank will also be participating.
Tiana and John from the Attorneys compete for a chair. They roll around on the floor and John wins.
In the post match interview, John apologizes to Tiana. Colin offers to dress John as a woman at the next AFJW so the Ice Queen can beat him in the ring. As Rod Stewart sings, "Some guys have all the luck".
(1C) Pretzel versus Team Caboose.
As Ace of Base's "The Sign" plays on, the Tank progresses from 12 down to the final five. I have redeemed myself from my recent hoola hoop performances. Musical chairs might be my new late adolescent sports calling. (OK, I am extending early middle age as much as possible as I am believer in anti-aging. More on that next week's health conference.) ------- Round #2: Intimate Orange Relay Race Game.The "Intimate Orange Relay Race Game" is a couple of hoola hoops (uh, oh) separated by chairs. Dana brings out PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon), the favorite beer of "Scorers Mike", Peter, and Captain Zorikh's. Paging Linda, your free beer is calling you. In the quick game break, the Tank checks NFL.com on his Blackberry for the following update: "AFC Championship Game Score Check: 2nd Quarter: Patriots 21 - Colts 3. (Darn you Brady and Belichick.) 1st 0:48 New England 7 - Indianapolis 3 A.Vinatieri kicks 71 yards from IND 30 to NE -1. E.Hobbs to NE 28 for 29 yards (Da.Reid, T.Hagler)." As Colin and Jessica sing, their great stage presence flashes the Tank back to Meatloaf and Patti Russo at the Beacon a couple of summers ago. Rules Explanation: Tiana and Dana to demonstrate the Intimate Orange Relay Race. You have to tuck the orange in your chin and hold it there, turn to your right, and pass it to your teammate's chin. You can not use your hands. Step 1: "Cut a hole in a box." No, seriously, put an orange between your chin and chest and pass to your partner. Step 2: Hoola hoop three times and pass to your partner. Step 3: Chair spinning three times and pass to your partner. Step 4: Bounce the ball in the hoola hoop five times and pass to your partner. Step 5: Five jumping jacks and pass the orange to your partner. Step 6: Beer drinker has to hold the orange in between his/her chin and chest while drinking the beer. If there was ever a SteveAndTheTank.com Team, Linda would be the anchor leg as she can drink any of these guys under the table.
(2A): Bootylicious Funkarama versus The Stalkers of Tony Danza.
The Tank is the final word. Point to the Stalkers of Tony Danza as the young lady had consumed almost every drop of beer as Bootylicious Funkarama's orange bounced away to the far side.
Team Caboose Strategy Session.
(2B) Team Dork versus Pretzel Pressure
Team Dork Wins and now has 2 points.
(2C) Team Twister versus Team Caboose
The Tank does well as he takes the orange from Dana spins around the chair and then passes it to Elissa a young lady to his left.
Team Caboose wins and pulls into a tie with Team Dork.
In the post match interview, Toby recounts his dad's musical chair lessons. A tear flowed down his cheek. I got a little choked up myself.
Round #3: Name That Tune
(3A) The Stalkers of Tony Danza versus Team Twister versus another team.
"We will Rock You" by Queen.
"Don't Believe the Hype" by Public Enemy.
"Blue Monday" by New Order (not the Orgy cover). Yes, the Tank knew the song immediately as it is in my running music by could not say it because I am the Judge after all. Kudos to Dr. Rosen Rosen who is starting to give Moldover a run for his money and starts to make the music harder.
"Baby Bitch" by Ween.
"Rio" by Duran Duran. One of the Tank's most favorite songs.
"Sign Your Name" by Terence D'Arby. Moldover, you have been equaled.
(3B) Team Caboose versus two other teams.
"Whip It" by Devo. The Tank answered this one almost instantly as it is also in my running music.
"Since You've Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson for one of the other two teams.
"Dirty Diana" by Michael Jackson for Team Caboose.
"Thong Song" by Sisqo for Team Caboose.
"Look of Love" (Goonies Theme) by ABC for Team Caboose.
"Sissy Neck" by Beck. Draw as someone got the artist right but not the song. "Strawberry" by ? Draw as no one got the song. "Maniac" by Mark Sembello. The Tank knew the song but could not remember the artist so he did not guess. Team Caboose wins the round and takes the lead with three points. ------------- Event #4: Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister
Before the final event of the evening, it's time once again for the "Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister" Theme song and Attorneys Set #3. Colin announced a missing earring which was not the Tank's. The Tank is too geeky for an earring. Anyway, the owner came up to stage and claimed it.
Rules Explanation: It's like the regular Twister you played as a kid (or still do) but with Crisco on the the Twister mat. Only two members per team were allowed to compete.
Dr Rosen Rosen plays Sister Sledge's "We are Family".
(4A) Pretzel Puzzle versus The Stalkers of Tony Danza
Left hand red Right hand blue Right foot red Left foot green Left foot yellow Right foot yellow Left foot green Left foot red Right hand yellow Left hand blue Left hand green Left foot yellow Right foot red as Colin adds Crisco to the Twister mat. Left food green. Left hand green Right foot green Left hand red Playoff Left foot green Left hand red Right hand yellow Champion: Pretzel as "These Good Times plays" ----- (B) Bootylicious Funkarama versus Team Caboose. Dana stretches out. Though fairly flexible, the Tank is too injured to compete. Right foot yellow Left hand blue Right foot red Right hand red Left foot blue Left foot green Even though I could have awarded the point to my team, Team Caboose, I am fair and call it like I see it. The Tank invokes the one person's knee was on others hand, or the Twister twist to the Madden Rule of "One Knee Equals Two Feet". Left foot yellow Left hand green Right hand green Right hand yellow Left foot blue Left hand red Left foot green Left foot red Left foot yellow Right foot blue Right hand blue Right foot green Left hand blue "I was petrified" blares out. Right foot red Left foot red Right foot blue Left hand green Right foot green - Dana is out. Whoa! Left hand red Left foot yellow Right foot yellow Left hand blue - Colin adds even more Crisco. Right hand red Left hand yellow Right foot red "Get up and Boogie" captures the mood. Left hand green Left hand red Left foot yellow Bootylicious Funkarama won the point and beat my team, Team Caboose. However, kudos to Dana and CJ for competing well for Team Caboose! ----- (4C) Team Twister versus Team Dork Colin ups the ante even more by putting more red Crisco on the Twister mat. Left foot yellow Right foot green Right hand blue Left foot green - "Say What I've Got" plays. Left hand green Left hand yellow Left foot red Left foot blue Right foot yellow Left foot yellow Left hand green Right foot red Right hand red - Colin adds more Crisco to the Twister mat. Right foot blue Right foot red Right foot green - Colin offers Josh a chance to stay in the game if he removes his shirt. He does and gets to stay in the game after his foot slid off the mat. Left foot red Right hand blue Left foot yellow - After her foot slid off of the spot, Colin was a true gentleman and fair minded like the Tank as he offered a female member of Team Twister the opportunity to remove her blouse and stay in the game. She unfortunately declined. Darn it! Left hand green Left foot red Right foot green Right foot blue Left foot green Right hand red Left foot red Right hand yellow Right foot green Right hand blue Right hand green Left foot yellow Left hand green Right foot red Left foot red Right hand blue Right foot yellow Right foot green Left foot red Right foot red Right hand yellow Left foot blue Left foot yellow Left hand yellow - Out of town Cleveland fans threw more Crisco on the mat. As Josh is her close friend and teammate, Melissa from Team Dork objects and scolds them like the third graders she teaches in her Brooklyn class. She almost sent them to the corner and had them put on dunce caps. Priceless! Left hand red Right hand blue Left hand blue Right foot blue Right hand green Left hand red Since the game was so close and competitive, each team is awarded a point each. The Tank has practiced yoga for over five years, but Josh is better than I am. Perhaps Josh practices LumberJack Yoga. Hey, this is real time commentary as I received the advertisement during the show. I am numerous mailing lists from Dick Morris' political updates to Lumberjack Yoga to Captain Zorikh. Though some people claim to have diverse interests, the Tank reads, writes about, and believes in diversity. When you have as many personalities and characters as I do, it's not hard. Therefore, Team Dork rallies to tie Team Caboose for the first ever Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister Championship. Final Score: Team Caboose 3, Team Dork 3, Bootylicious Funkarama 2, Team Twister 2, The Stalkers of Tony Danza 1, Pretzel Pressure 1. The winning team huddles for the winning photo. Kuntry Karaoke takes the stage. The Tank would stay to share his musical gift with the world. I have song karaoke on each continent (including Antarctica) but excluding South America. Another time mes amis but the Tank needs closure on the Colts-Patriots game that he was following on line while blogging. Until Sunday, February 11, at Don Hills for Amateur Female Jello Wrestling and the next Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister Sunday, February 18, at Arlene's Grocery, this is the Tank reporting live from Arlene's Grocery at 95 Stanton Street on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. ----- The Tank popped into nearby Piano Bar for a bite to eat. Good burgers. You gotta love the Lower East Side!
While the Tank was blogging Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister, Indy closes the gap to 34-31. Indy stops NE on 3rd and 4. Will Peyton Manning lead the Colts on the winning or tying drive? The Tank yells out don't give Tom Brady too much time as Addai scores the go-ahead touchdown with a minute left and Adam "Mr. Clutch" Vinatieri kicks the extra point to give the Colts a 38-34 win. Like Eli Manning cheering for his brother Peyton, the Tank is cheering for his younger brother Milan and his team, the Colts. I have to give him major props for staying with the Colts through thick and thin. He vowed that they were going to be in the Super Bowl and they are almost there. Will Tom Brady counter with his own 80 (technically 79 and change) yard drive? No, as Brady is intercepted a few plays later. Woooo! Peyton Manning slays his dragons and the Colts come back from a 21-3 deficit, the largest in Conference Championship history. Congratulations to Milan and the Colts! The Colts were also my pre-season Super Bowl Champion, just one more game to go God Willing. Most importantly, I am rooting for Colts Coach Tony Dungee, his family, and his late son James, R.I.P. Go Colts! ---------- Until Sunday, February 11, at Don Hills for Amateur Female Jello Wrestling and the next Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister Sunday, February 18, at Arlene's Grocery, this is the Tank reporting live from Arlene's Grocery at 95 Stanton Street on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Yankees Ticket Flex Plan
Earlier this week, the Tank tried to renew his Yankees ticket flex plan online. Easier said than done.
Though I was battling the flu, I got up early to renew online. It took a few minutes to get through. I picked my 20 games (due to my work schedule and the fact that the next plan up, 46 games, are all mid-week games). When I went to click review the tickets (the step before payment), T!cketm@$ter's site hit a glitch and cancelled my request. Quel dommage! You've got to be kidding me. Arrrrggg!!!
While scrambling around my apartment and going into a full blown fever on top of the cold and flu, I desperately to log back in. After waiting for an hour, I got on the train and went to the Stadium. No one was there except for the merchandise salespeople in a store inside the Stadium by the Bat and a security guard on the other side of the Stadium. They couldn't help me and it was time to go to work. Super duper stress. Ugh!!!!
After arriving at work, I tried to log on T!ckem@$ter and after a few hours, I finally got my tickets including Opening Day and Old Timer's Day). Though I am separated from my right field Bleacher Creature Brethren for about half of my games, I am thankful to God that I got my tickets.
Whew, closure on another issue! Go Yankees!
Posted by an exhausted and flu striken Tank.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Knicks Lose a Heartbreaker to the Nets
The Knicks had a chance to close the gap to 1.0 games against their cross-river rival New Jersey Nets but lost a heartbreaker 101-100 and are now 3.0 games back. The Nets were winning handily but the Knicks rallied to make it a game. The bright side is the fact that the Knicks would have folded last season in a game like this. They are not contenders yet but wouldn't classify them as pretenders either.
The Knicks task doesn't get any easier as they play against Indiana tonight, then have to face the Suns and Heat. As the Knicks are only 2.0 games out of 8th place for the final playoff seed (if they don't win the division), this is a critical part of the season as the trade deadline and All Star Break approach. If the Knicks put good games and WINS together, they CAN make the playoffs. The Knicks need to maintain their energy and determination.
Friday, January 19, 2007
NFL Conference Championship Picks
The Tank was 2-2 in last week's picks, touch wood. I would have won at least one more game if the Chargers hadn't inexplicably lost a 21-13 lead in the last few minutes of the game. The much maligned Tank (no relation) Johnson made a big sack late in regulation for the Bears to force overtime. I was happy to predict the Saints and Colts winning the Saturday games. Anyway, it's now time to play for a chance to go to the Super Bowl.
For new readers, my picks are designed for you to win the highest number of games in your office pool which are normally predicated on wins and losses, NOT the Vegas line. I do not bet Vegas lines because they are subject to change and Vegas knows more than everyone except God. Furthermore, Vegas lines are designed for the "vig" or the balance of the betting money which is why you sometimes see ridiculous double-digit lines to get people to take chances and care about potential blowouts. Whereas, I want you to win your office pool and be the talk of your office based on won-loss record.
Remember, bet within your limits, past performance is not indicative of future results (mutual fund speak legalese disclaimer), and have fun. The predicted winning team is in bold.
Over the past ten years, there has been one upset in the Conference Championship Game.
Being that the fact that Rex Grossman doesn't know himself how he'll play, I can't pick the Bears. Take America's new team, the Saints, which therefore gives us the upset I am looking for.
The Patriots have all the momentum, Brady, and Belichick but the Colts have home field, Peyton Manning is way over due, and they have Adam Vinatieri. Stephen Gostkowski, Vinatieri's replacement is good, but he doesn't yet have Vinatieri's resume. Vinatieri should prove to the winning difference for the Colts.
Posted by The Tank.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Goodbye Yankee Stadium
You would expect the lifelong Yankee hater in me to be upset that the 2008 All -Star Game will be hosted at Yankee Stadium, not Shea Stadium. I am not. The game should be played at Yankee Stadium because of all the history there. I have mixed feelings on knocking down Yankee Stadium. As a New Yorker I want the best facilities for the sporting events. I am jealous of all the other new stadiums that have been built over the last 15 years. But as a baseball fan, it is the House the Ruth Built, it should not be knocked down.
Shea Stadium is a horrible stadium and I am counting down the days until it is knocked down. I am convinced that the Mets can’t win a World Series in that stadium-they just need a new one. As the Tank said, I will be throwing a party the day it is demolished. In honor of Yankee Stadium’s last days and to celebrate Shea Stadium’s death, I plan on actually stepping foot inside Yankee Stadium in 2008. It will be the first stadium of my cross country road trip to visit them all. (We will see how many I actually get to, but Yankee will be first on my trip and Shea will be last.) Stay tuned to the blog to find out more about Steve and The Tank’s tour. (The Tank will not go to all of the stadiums since he has a day job.)
Posted by Steve in New York.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Last All Star Game at Yankee Stadium
While I was recently at the Stadium trying to clear up my Yankee ticket plan status (more on that later), I got an e-mail from PermaGuest Outlaw Jack that the 2008 All-Star is going to be at the Stadium, the fourth and last there. While reading Jack's e-mail waiting for the 4 train on the platform, I happened to see the new Stadium under construction. Lots of memories, history, and magic at the Stadium that will hopefully move across the street, God Willing.
When the Mets move out of Shea, I know Steve is going to throw a party. When the Yankees move out of the Stadium, I am probably going to cry.
Posted by a saddened Tank.
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