 Monday, March 05, 2007
"Tell Them You Are My Husband" (AKA Welcome to the Tank's March Madness)
March Madness got off to an early start when the Tank recently traveled to Mexico via Houston.
After Jet Blue cancelled all flights to Houston on Saturday the 17th, the Tank was lucky to get the last seat on the whole plane in first class on a Continental flight on Sunday the 18th.
After taking a brief nap, the Tank listened to "No Doubt's" Greatest Hits and read an interesting cover story article in Time magazine about the abortion debate. I didn't discuss it with anyone on the plane but debated it inside my head as I do with the death penalty and whether Pete Rose belongs in the Hall of Fame or not.
Before long, I heard the ramblings of a striking blonde to my right, Leisha, who had too much to drink. We struck up a conversation and she was telling me about her loser (now ex-boyfriend) named Tony who had stood her up in NYC. (I wish I met her a few days earlier as I would have asked her to the Rod Stewart Valentine's Day concert.) Not only did Tony stand her up, he took her ID and the keys to her Mercedes.
Having unfortunately been stood up before, I could relate with Leisha's plight. Using my newly identified Healer skills, I listened to her for the remainder of the flight. Her story made me want to reprimand Tony the Jabroni. Though I have been idiotic (at times) but you don't stand someone up in a hotel in some faraway city. I guess this is why women become lesbians.
Anyway, Leisha continued to drink but I became concerned when she started showing me her bottles of uppers and downers. She referred to the recent Anna Nicole Smith tragedy and I feared for a repeat of the same. The parallel didn't end there as Leisha was also a 30 something blonde but with even more beautiful check bones and more natural than Anna Nicole. Yes, the Tank notices and appreciates natural beauty as I am a sucker for blondes, brunettes, and red heads. 
As we were about to land, Leisha grabbed my arm and exclaimed "Tell them you are my husband!" Wow! The uppers and downers she showed me were real I said to myself. I ensured that she did not take any uppers or downers in my presence given her heavy alcoholic consumption.
She fixed her make-up and asked me to get a wheelchair because she claimed to have a broken leg. She didn't as she kicked her leg in the air. However, the Tank went along because she started to yell out that "The Captain has had a heart attack!" and "Let me out of here!"
Since Leisha was making a scene and not taking no or "shsh" for an answer from the Tank or the flight crew, I asked Sarah the Stewardess to get a wheelchair and I would transport Leisha to luggage claim where her friends Becca and Jodi would pick her up.
One of the ground crew got a wheelchair and I started to wheel Leisha away from the plane. The Anna Nicole parallel got scarier after Leisha put on her oversized black sunglasses as we went to baggage claim.
As the Tank coordinated with Leisha's friend Jodi to meet at Luggage Claim C6, Leisha's mobile phone died. I asked Leisha for Jodi's number but it was the wrong area code as Houston has many more area codes than it used to like many metropolitan areas when I worked for the phone company about a decade ago.
While Leisha waited in the wheelchair for her luggage, I took my Blackberry charger out of my carry-on NYC Marathon nap sack. The port was thankfully compatible to her Motorola phone and I charged it at the Information Booth. I then asked for a luggage porter to transport her bags. Leisha's mobile phone charged enough so I could get Jodi's correct phone number (Area Code 832, not 713) and asked her to meet-up at Luggage Claim C6.
Leisha screamed out that she wanted to ride the moving luggage carousel at Luggage Claim C6 like an amusement car. I asked her to stay put in the wheelchair for just a little while longer (mere moments seemed like forever).
Everything thankfully converged together as Leisha's and my bags, the baggage porter, and Becca and Jodi arrived at almost the same time within a minute. (Think of the chaotic scene at of the end of "Blues Brothers" as they converge upon the courthouse.)
I tipped the baggage porter for taking Leisha's bags. I then asked Jodi to monitor Leisha's medication as she had drunk heavily. Becca wheeled away Leisha as Jodi thanked me and apologized. No worries, the Tank replied. Just trying to do a good deed and my duty as a gentleman. Kind of balancing out Tony the Jabroni's treatment in some small way.
Posted by the Tank enroute to Houston from New York.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Will the Orangemen three-peat as Big East Basketball Champions?
As March Madness is underway, the Tank wanted to share some memories from last year's Big East Tournament held at the World's Most Famous Arena, Madison Square Garden. The Tank was thankfully blessed to get tickets to see his beloved Syracuse Orangemen win the 2005 and 2006 Big East Tournament Championship.
After the Orangemen won four consecutive games in as many days, the Tank rushed the floor to celebrate the Orangemen's victory. The Tank is pictured below with former Syracuse and NBA star Derrick Coleman and a woman he has never met before or seen after -- her friend was nice enough to take the picture of us. (Taken on Saturday, March 11, 2006, on the floor of Madison Square Garden.)
As unlikely as it maybe, the Tank hopes the magic continues this week (God Willing, lucky rabbit's foot, touch wood, etc.) for a third consecutive Orangemen Big East Championship. It won't be easy as the Orangemen face Connecticut on Wednesday at 2 p.m. so we (the Orangemen) have to again win four consecutive games in as many nights.
Whatever team you root for, enjoy Championship Week and March Madness!
Posted by a hopeful Tank in NY. Go Orangemen!
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Cozumel Tequila Tasting Seminar
After a very bad experience of drinking Jose Cuervo Tequila in the summer of 1993, the Tank threw up on a friend's floor that he was subletting from. Since the Tank is the "world's heaviest lightweight drinker", I dared not challenge tequila's supremacy in any decade in the near future.
Therefore, I employed the assistance of my Cozumel roommate, Michael from Utah, to sample tequila bottles for friends and family back home. Michael happens to be of Japanese descent but many people think he looks Mexican and they started speaking to him in Spanish.
When Cozumel tequila vendors like the gentleman pictured below asked Michael if he would like to taste tequila, the Tank replied in Spanish that Michael would. They were a little surprised that a gringo looking hombre like the Tank could speak Spanish. Hey, five years of high school Spanish, a year of college Spanish, and travels to the Spanish speaking countries like the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Mexico (Tijuana in 1996), and Argentina have served the Tank well.
Michael and the Tank continued to work as a flawless team as Michael sampled drinks and the Tank negotiated the best discounts for friends and family. Since Michael is from Utah, he enjoyed himself as Utah is pretty restrictive on alcohol purchases because of Mormon control of the state. For the record, the Tank doesn't have a problems with Mormonism as I would gladly forsake alcohol (empty calories and usually not good tasting tasting) and marry three wives as on the HBO hit show "Big Love". Say no to alcohol and say yes to being married to Chloe Sevigny, Jeanne Tripplehorn, and Ginnifer Goodwin.
El Tanque escribio en Cozumel y Nueva York.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Welcome to Spring Training!
I normally don't get too excited about Spring Training but the Knicks have the Tank singing the blues.
My main goals with Spring Training are too make sure veterans tune up and stay healthy as well as young talent has a chance to develop.
The Yankees and Mets thankfully had good games yesterday. The Yankees and Mets continued their momentum this afternoon with come from behind wins against the D-Rays and Cardinals, respectively.
Posted by The Tank in NY.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
The Knicks Are Killing Themselves and Stressing Out The Tank
The Knicks came out flat and confused against the Celtics last night in Boston. Granted, Nate Robinson, Jamal Crawford, and David Lee didn't play but the Knicks had enough to beat the NBA's worst team, the Celtics.
The Knicks were down by as many as 23 but rallied back to take a two point lead at 81-79 after Starbury's three pointer. Yes, I said Starbury.
If the Knicks don't make the playoffs, they will rue the three out of four games they lost to the Celtics this season. Put another way, 20 percent of the Celtics 15 victories in 57 games have come against the Knicks. Not the mark of a good team.
Anyway, thank God that Spring Training baseball games are starting. Play ball!
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Knicks Needed a Win in Beantown Tonight
The Knicks had a great win on Monday night beating Shaq and the Heat 99-93 at the Garden. They need to continue their momentum as they are only 2.0 games out of playoffs behind the Nets, Heat, and Magic who are tied for the seventh and eighth spots. Only two of these four teams will make the playoffs as everyone from the Pacers to the Pistons are a pretty sure bet to make the playoffs.
If the Knicks want to make the playoffs, they have to beat the Celtics in Boston tonight. Yes, Jamal Crawford is most likely out for the season. David Lee may not play tonight because of injury. They have to find a way to win against the lowly Celtics. Are the Knicks a playoff team? Games like tonight will help answer this question.
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Where Will the Rocket Roger Clemens Pitch in 2007?
As the Tank was returning from Mexico via the Houston Bush Intercontinental Airport yesterday, the car passed by Minute Maid Stadium, home of the Houston Astros. The Tank's thoughts joyfully changed to baseball and the 2007 status of home town hero and free agent pitcher Roger Clemens. As the Tank was talking to friends before our flights took us to our different home towns a few minutes later, the Tank didn't focus too much on Clemens' status.
However, in a weird karamic way, Clemens' name came up again as the Tank returned home and started to catch up on NY sports on 1050 AM ESPN Radio. Michael Kaye had a good interview with ESPN reporter and Baseball Hall of Fame Writer Peter Gammons. Gammons gave some interesting perspective on Clemens agents trying to get top dollar which is to be expected. Gammons also referenced Clemens' respect for Joe Torre and Derek Jeter.
Should Clemens return to New York? Steve and Linda passed on him last year for the Mets but the Tank would sign him in a heart beat for the Yankees. Even part time, Clemens is a future Hall of Famer and has a great work ethic to inspire young pitchers and hopefully even veterans like Mike Mussina (as unlikely as it would be given Moose's stubbornness). More importantly, Clemens would be pitching with his best friend, Andy Pettitte. At the advice of the Tank's therapist, the Tank is trying to forget that Andy ever left the Yankees as the pain was felt all the way to the cellular level. The Tank's source whose sister worked at MLB "guaranteed" that Andy would return in 2004 but the source jinxed the Yankees and the Tank.
Therefore, the Tank will not "guarantee" Rocket's return to pinstripes, only guaranteeing prayers for his return. Speaking of prayers, I echo Steve's thoughts and prayers for the X-Man, Xavier Nady, for a fast and speedy recovery. Thank you very much! Sincerely, The Tank
Posted by a hopeful Tank back from vacation in NY.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Well Wishes for the X-Man
It was very sad to see Xavier Nady go. Now it looks like more bad news for the X-Man, he was hospitalized this week for intestinal inflammation and will be examined tomorrow to determine if he has a chronic condition. The doctors asked him if he had a family history of Crohn's disease, the same disease that eventually sidelined Tho Fleury. Crohn’s disease is a chronic, episodic, inflammatory condition of the gastrointestinal tract characterized by transmural inflammation.
Apparently the X-Man’s cousin has Crohn’s and the doctors are just being extra safe. Keep the X-Man in your thoughts.
Posted by Steve in New York.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
ACC v Big East
Steve’s parent’s St. John’s and the Yankees of College Basketball Duke (18) have a contract that started today that has them play each other once each season over the next four years. ACC and Big East. A great thing for SJU and for Duke as well since SJU is a rough and tumble college basketball program. The boys from Queens usually play on cement courts and ride the subway to Madison Square Garden for the game.
As we walk into today’s sell out game at the World’s Most Famous Arena, a few minutes into the game, SJU was down 14-4. As we settled in, SJU was playing great defense, but not shooting and when they did, they shot poorly. Around 24-8 I started to worry. At t half it was 34-10 and I started to get tons of SMS from my friends mocking me.
St. John’s started to show some life in the second half. They come out strong, immediately getting a three pointer and then another field goal to get 50% of their first half points in the first two minutes of the second half. St. John's then began to show some life and had a nice little 10-2 run to pull to 46-29 with 9:35 to go. However, Duke came right back with a three point shot and the game was pretty much history. The Red Storm did make it respectable and had an 8-0 run, to pull to 51-39 with 4:15 left. The defense was still strong and at this point SJU played much better than the score implied, but the score on the scoreboard is what counts. The final buzzer was Duke 67-SJU 50. Duke has now won 4 straight over the former Redmen.
In the end, MSG was sold out, the crowd was buzzing and the decision to have Duke play SJU is a good one. Looking foward to next year's game.
Posted by Steve, Live from the World’s Most Famous Arena.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Cozumel Greetings
As some of you know, the Tank is on vacation in Cozumel, Mexico.
Before dinner starts in a few minutes, I checked my e-mail and wanted to check in and say hello to all our great readers. I'll be back in the City That Never Sleeps Soon with reports on my adventures in a few days.
Posted by the Tank in Cozumel, Mexico.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Willie Wanted to Bunt
Cliff Floyd said the other day that Willie wanted to bunt in the bottom of the 9th in Game 7 then changed his mind. Let's not second guess Willie, he did a great job and got the Mets all the way to Game 7.
I'll miss Cliff, but not that much.
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