 Saturday, April 14, 2007
Knicks Playoff Dream Dies in the Swamps of Jersey
The Knicks were officially eliminated from playoff contention by the NJ Nets last evening, 100-86, at the Meadowlands.
The Knicks lost 13 of their last 16 games due to injuries to Marbury, Lee, and others.
Good luck to the Knicks getting a good Lottery pick like Kevin Durrant or Greg Oden whose father recently leaked that he will probably leave college after one season. We can only hope. Oh yeah, that's right, the Knicks traded that pick away to get Eddy Curry. Just great.
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Sabres and Rangers Draw First Blood
The Sabres held their home ice advantage against the NY Islanders last night and won 4-1.
I watched the Rangers win 4-3 at the Atlanta Thrashers while working out at the gym. The Rangers needed to win a game on the road to win the series and did what they had to do.
The D*vils unfortunately beat the Tampa Bay Lightning 5-3.
The Sabres, Rangers, and D*vils lead their respective series 1-0.
Go Sabres and Rangers!
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Glavine 292
Tom Glavine has reached career win 292 with the Mets' 5-3 win over the Phillies. Eight more to go. The Mets took two out of three at a cold and wet home stand. Lastings Milledge played his last game for a while as he will be sent to AAA New Orleans tomorrow. Milledge failed to score Green standing on third base in a PH situation, showing his immaturity by swinging at the first pitch. This after blabbing his mouth the NY Newsday saying he should not be sent down. Steve to Omar: trade this cancer; he is not a team player.
Steve will visit the Mets at Philly on Monday to see Oliver Perez pitch. Steve is still a believer in Oliver Perez, despite his wild outing last night.
Posted by Steve in New York
The Stanley Cup Playoffs
The real hockey season, the Stanley Cup Playoffs, started last night. As great as hockey is, the marketing geniuses at the NHL have all three local teams (Rangers, Islanders, and D*vils) playing with start times of 7 pm, 7:30 pm, and 8 pm tonight.
What if you want to root for one team and root against the others? Remote control and picture in picture only work so well.
Here's an idea for the NHL suits. Start one of the three local teams on Wednesday night instead of all three within an hour of each hour.
Stanley Cup Hockey is a real two month grind that doesn't reward the best team but the team playing the best hockey starting now.
As for the locals, the Rangers have great goaltending and solid offense. The Islanders got on a roll during the last week but it will be hard to win it all with a third string goalie. The D*vils have the winningest goalie of all time, Martin Brodeur, but can they score enough goals? This question was posed by Brodeur himself in answering a question from Michael Kay on ESPN 1050 AM on Tuesday.
I have almost all of the anti-Jersey feelings out of my system except the D*vils and the Jets moving to Jersey so I can't root for the D*vils.
I can't root for the Islanders as I grew up a Guy Lafleur (Canadiens) fan and the Islanders broke the Habs Stanley Cup streak in 1980.
I think the Rangers are getting better but are a year or two away from playing for the Stanley Cup. BTW, the last time that all three were in the playoffs at the same time was when the Rangers last won it all in 1994. We'll see what this you brings.
I don't want to jinx the Sabres but cautiously optimistic that they'll win it all if they stay healthy, touch wood.
Since I went to college in Buffalo, go Sabres (and Rangers)!
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
No Big Macs for Bulls Fans
After the Tank finished working out at the gym last night, the Tank turned on the radio and the station was preset to ESPN 1050 AM which had the Knicks game on. After briefly checking the Knicks score, the Tank remembered that the Yankees were on WCBS 880 AM, switched over, and enjoyed listening to that game as the Yankees thankfully won 10-1 behind Andy Pettitte, touch wood.
Though the Knicks were routed 98-69, they did prevent Bulls fans from getting free Big Macs as the Bulls just missed getting 100 points for the free Big Macs according to NBA.com
With that quick change of the channel, the Tank officially and fully transitioned from basketball to baseball.
Let's hope the Knicks get Kevin Durrant or Greg Oden in the Lottery as the Knicks were almost officially mathematically eliminated from playoff contention.
Posted by the Tank in NY.
 MLB | NBA
 Wednesday, April 11, 2007 5:46:40 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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Tuesday, April 10, 2007
"So This Is What It's Like When the Mets Are Popular"
The Three Metsketeers (Linda, Steve, and the Tank) met at Steve's office in Union Square for a lucky pre-game wheat grass shot. The yellow school bus that normally sells wheat grass shots wasn't there for some reason. The Tank is very superstitious and apprehensive to leave without his lucky pre-game wheat grass shot but the show must go on, touch wood.
"So this is what it's like when the Mets are popular," Linda remarked at the overflow crowds as we walked into the Shea. Linda is not used to the big crowds as she is a Mets fan through good times and bad. It is her first Opening Day at Shea.
We got in time for the first pitch from John "Remember the Maine" to Jimmy "The Phillies are the team to beat" Rollins picture taken by the Tank below.
John Maine worked a three up, three down top of the first.
Jose Reyes struck out. Lo Duca lined out to third. Beltran struck out. 0-0 at the end of the first inning.
Delgado gets on with a bunt. DW grounds out into a double play. Alou popped up in the infield to end the inning.
In between innings, we were treated to Jose Reyes Spanish Academy:
"Me gusta montrar el tren numero siete." English Translation: "I like to take the 7 train."
Utley sacrificed in the pitcher Hamels.
Burrell popped up to end the inning. The Phillies lead 1-0.
Shawn Green flew out to center. Jose Valentin called out on strikes. John Maine gets an infield single. Jose Reyes gets a Texas League single. Paul Lo Duca grounded out to short. The Phillies still lead 1-0 after the first inning.
Ruiz grounds a single to center. Rowand walks. Nunez walks to load the bases. The bullpen starts to warm. Hamels grounds out first to catcher to get the runner at home. Rollins grounds out into the inning ending double play.
Beltran flares out a broken bat infield hit that Big Mouth Rollins bobbled the throw anyway. Delgado singles to left and Beltran advances to third. Can DW get a key hit? DW strikes out swinging on ball four. Alou strikes out. Steve and Linda aren't thrilled with Shawn Green. "Save me from Lastings (Milledge)!" Steve shouts. Green walks to load the bases. Valentin singles home two runs including close play at the plate. John Maine strikes out. The Mets lead 2-1 after two innings.
Utley ties the game on a solo shot. Howard walks. Burrell singles to right. Ruiz flies out to center. Rowand walks on a full count to load the bases. Here comes Willie with the hook after 104 pitches. Ambiorix Burgos comes in and gets Nunez to ground out on the second pitch. The game is tied at 2 after the top of the third.
In between innings, a Phillies fan is fan booed for wearing a Howard jersey. "He is also stupid enough to not be wearing a jacket," Linda added commenting on the bone cold weather at Shea where 44 on the thermometer felt more like 34 (ok, even colder) thanks to the wind chill.
The game stays scoreless until Reyes starts the 5th with a pop up to the pitcher but he advances to second on the collision. Everyone is okay but the Tank's fingers are starting to freeze. Lo Duca grounds out to second and Reyes advances to third. Beltran walks on the unintentional walk. Delgado sacrifices to center, Reyes tags, and the Mets lead 3-2. DW is at bat but Beltran is out on the steal attempt.
Hamels grounds out. Rollins Hit By Pitch. Victorino hits a Texas League Single to advance Rollins to third. Utley fouled off about 10 pitches to work a full count. He finally struck out. Howard hits a three run shot to give the Phillies a 4-2 lead. "The Mets should have brought out Smith," Steve says. "Look at the fans exiting," Linda adds. Burrell strikes out to end the top of the sixth but the Phillies lead 4-2.
DW flies out to center to start the 6th. Alou walks. Green at bat makes Steve want to keep Lastings Milledge in New Orleans. Green struck out. Valentin flies out to left to end the inning. Phillies still lead 4-2 at the end of the 6th inning.
Ruiz struck out. Rowand grounds out. Nunez grounds out to end the top half of the 7th.
"Get Up and Stretch!". A great version of "God Bless America" is performed by a brave soul only wearing a suit and not a winter jacket.
Lo Duca singles with two men out. Beltran walks. Delgado singles to center to close the gap to 5-4. DW flies out to right. He throws his helmet in disgust.
The Tank is also disgusted by the wait in the hot chocolate line. A guy in front of me ordered five hot chocolates and a coffee. Alou hit a gapper to right center. Green hit a broken bat single to left. Pinch runner for Green but Valentin's attempt is thrown to third on the force out. Julio Franco is the pinch hitter. Julio walked on four pitches. Jose Reyes is up with the bases loaded. Jimmy "We're the team to beat" Rollins bobbles the ball. The tying run scores and everyone is safe. Lo Duca is up and a wild pitch advances the go-ahead run. Mets lead 6-5. "The Phillies suck!" cheer echoes around Shea. Lo Duca walks on four pitches. The Phillies go to the bullpen. Beltran's sacrifice to center scores Franco who tagged from third. Delgado walks on four pitches. Can DW redeem himself? DW does and hits a two run double to the left field wall. The Mets lead 9-5. Turn the line-up card around as Alou comes up to bat again. "Jimmy Rollins!" chant echoes again. Alou singles and scores two more. The Mets lead 11-5. Chavez grounds out to short. The Mets put a crooked number 7 up in the bottom of the 8th inning and lead 11-5.
Mets closer Billy Wagner enters the game to one of the Tank's favorite songs, Metallica's "Enter Sandman". Utley grounds out to second. Howard strikes out. Burrell strikes out to end the game. The Mets win 11-5. Yes, Jimmy Rollins is correct, the Phillies are the "team to beat" as the Phillies slide to 1-6. 
The only down part was that the Mets didn't play BTO' "Takin' Care of Business" and went with "Celebration" instead.
Steve took the photo of the new construction of "Jackie Robinson Stadium" (AKA Citi Field) below slated to open in 2009.
Posted by the Tank with special commentary from Linda and Steve Live at Mets Opening Day at Shea Stadium in Flushing, Queens.
Live! | MLB
Tuesday, April 10, 2007 8:05:45 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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Monday, April 09, 2007
Knicks Season Is Slipping Away
The Knicks lost another tough one to the Detroit Pistons tonight, 91-83. They are now four games behind the last playoff seed. Unless the Knicks make up four games in the last five games like the NY Islanders did this past weekend, their tee times await.
Posted by the depressed Tank in NY.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Will the Tank Conquer His Hoola Hoop Demons and Win Musical Chairs?
It's time for everyone's favorite adult co-ed game show, Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister, which features kids games like Musical Chairs, Name That Tune, and Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister. Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister
offers men the opportunity to participate as they are not allowed in Amateur Female Jello Wrestling.
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The house band warmed the crowd up with classics like "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Bungles and "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi.
Your co-hosts Colin and Jessica rally the crowd with the Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister theme and explain the rules. Colin also has in his own band. Check out Willpilotmusic! Good rocking music!
Without further ado, it's time for Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister.
Contest #1: Musical Chairs: FireFlies versus Watchers. Round and round they go to the tune of the Pussycat Dolls' "Doncha Ya" ("Milkshake") song.
As the competitors try to balance holding onto to their beers as they contest for position for an open chair, some unfortunately spills. "No crying over spilled beer," Colin quips.
The band changes speed and it's down to Seth of the FireFlies versus Sheena.
Seth was a gentleman and yielded his seat to Sheena.
Voyeurs scored their first point.
(1B) Voyeurs versus Church: The Tank made the final five in his last appearance and hopes to do better this time. Team Church is really strong with Church, Chia, Dana, and the Tank. Team Church has three of the final four competitors -- almost like the 1985 Final Four with Big East Powers Georgetown, Saint John's, and eventual champion Villanova. Andrea from Team Voyeurs is eliminated so Team Church wins by default.
Who will be the eventual individual champion? Chia is the next to be eliminated. It's down to the Tank and Church. The competition is fierce as Church and the Tank are two equally rugged men. Round and round they go, the music stops, and Church and the Tank battle for position. This is not for the faint of heart. The Tank and Church battle for the chair like a basketball rebound ala the Bruise Brothers, Jeff Ruland and Rick Mahorn, battling each other instead of the other team. It's almost like the old Dodge Ram commercial where the two rams collide. The Tank locks in, lowers his left shoulder, and plants his right leg in the floor. This is reminscient of when he became the King of the Metallica Mosh Pit at Woodstock 1999. BTW, the look at James Hetfield's face was priceless as the Tank wore Ric "The Nature Boy" Flair's t-shirt and bellowed his trademark "Wooooo!" into the Upstate New York night.
The Tank conquers his hoola hoop demons and wins the Musical Chairs competition. Wooooo!
Contest #2: Pass the Orange Relay:
(2A) The FireFlies versus the Watchers.
Person #4 on the Watchers lost the orange so they had to go back to the beginning.
Person #3 on the Watchers (DBA the FireFlies) lost the orange. "The FireFlies can play music but can the win the relay?" Colin muses.
Both teams are dead even down to the beer chugging leg and the FireFlies win their second point.
(2B) Voyeurs versus Team Church:
The Tank passed the orange to Chia, Chia is an ace hoola hooper. Chia passed it to Zach but the orange slipped. Church threw it back to the Tank who restarted it. The Voyeurs had a lead but their beer drinker dropped the orange. Team Church's rally anchored by Church's excellent beer drinking won the day for Team Church and puts them in the lead with 2 points.
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As the Ramblers take the stage, the Tank wishes Jessica luck in her upcoming biathlon. Go Jessica Go!
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Event #3 Flip Cup: One beer per team.
(3A) Team Church versus the FireFlies: As Chia doesn't drink beer and the Tank is the world's heaviest lightweight drinker, we give our beer to Church, our MVD, Most Valuable Drinker.
Team Church takes an early lead and extends it as Church is the fastest beer drinker in the land. But, he unfortunately could not flip the cup onto the table so the FireFlies ties Team Church for the lead at 2
points each.
(3B) Voyeurs versus the Watchers:
In a closely contested race, the Voyeurs lose a tough one to the Watchers. Dana slams her cup in defeat.
The Watchers score their first point.
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*** Upcoming Events FYI:
(A) Due to the Easter and Passover Holiday Weekend, we'll skip the second Sunday of April. Therefore, Sunday April 15, is the next Amateur Female Jello Wrestling at Don Hill's and Sunday, April 22, is the next
Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister back at Arlene's Grocery.
(B) DJ Lokey is spinning the tunes.
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Event #4 Name That Tune: Yes, name the tune but also continue with the chorus.
The FireFlies have the advantage as they are solid musical team. What was the name of the first tune? Wow! That was fast. Point to the FireFlies. They continue to roll with the following:
"Like being abused." - FireFlies
"I touch myself" - Watchers
"The boys are back in town" - FireFlies
"I am loser baby" Church but didn't get artist, Beck.
"Killing Me Softly" - FireFlies. For a bonus point, Colin asks who Roberta Flack wrote that song about. Not even the FireFlies knew that the answer was Stevie Wonder.
"Satisfaction" - Not sure who got that point.
"Holiday" - The Tank does his best Madonna impersonation. Point to Team Church. Boo yeah!
"Safety Dance" - Watchers.
"Come on Light My Fire" - FireFlies.
"Bohemian Rhapsody" - Not sure who got that one.
"Life is a highway" - Voyeurs.
The FireFlies obviously have an unfair advantage.
At the end of Name That Tune, the FireFlies have the lead with 8 points with the Watchers (5 points), Team Church (3 points), Voyeurs (3 points), Colin (1 point).
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Event #5 Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister: The event you all have been waiting for....
After the crisco is spread on the Twister mat, all competitors must put their hands in Crisco:
Church and Chia compete for Team Church and Zach and Jeremy compete for Team Voyeurs.
Right hand green
Left hand yellow
Right foot yellow
Right foot green
Right foot red
Left hand red
Left foot green - Church is out
Right foot blue
Right hand yellow
Right foot green
Right foot yellow
Left hand green
Left foot red - Jeremy is out.
Left foot green
Right foot red
Left hand red
Right hand green
Left foot yellow - photo
Left foot green - Chia is out
Zach is the winner - One point for the Watchers.
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Voyeurs versus FireFlies:
Dana and Dan compete for the FireFlies
Colin and Sheena compete for the Voyeurs.
The Twister move by move follows below:
Right foot green
Left hand yellow
Right foot red
Left hand green
Right hand yellow
Left foot blue
Right foot blue
Left hand red - Colin is out
Left hand yellow
Right foot green
Left foot red
Right hand red
Left foot yellow - Sheena is out
Right foot red
Left foot green
Left hand blue - Dana is out
Dan from the FireFlies wins.
Team FireFlies is victorious with 9 points, followed by the Watchers 6, Team Church and the Voyeurs tied for third with 3, Colin has 1 point.
Until next time at Don Hill's on April 15 for Amateur Female Jello Wrestling and Arlene's Grocery for Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister on April 22, this the newly crowned Musical Chairs Champion Tank reporting live from Arlene's Grocery on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Happy Easter and Passover!
Though Steve and the Tank are on the road spending time with our families, we wanted to wish those readers who observe Easter and Passover a Happy and Safe Holiday!
Whatever Holiday you observe, best to you and yours.
Posted by the Travelling Tank in Upstate NY.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Medford Bob Says
Guest blogger Medford Bob went to the movies recently. Without further ado, Medford Bob Says
Nipples and Sixpacks
Went to see “300” at the Imax at Lincoln Center last night. Always love to go there as it feels like being a kid a the movies for the first time when everything is sooo big and loud. I had seen the film before on its first weekend and wanted to see it in gimongous form so this time I was really able to watch the film itself. It is hilarious. The only line in the film that runs true is when Dominic West rails at the Spartan council “We don’t need a history lesson here”. True dat. I had to bite my tongue to stop giggling at David Wenham doing his best Snidely Whiplash narration at the beginning and the end, (especially when vamping in front of 40,000 Greek soldiers which included 10,000 Spartans. ) railing against “mysticism and tyranny” (why not horticulture and Armageddon? Or macaroni and cheese) while the guys in the second row are asking “what did he say?”. Really, the intro for this turkey should have been by Sherman and Peabody. Lets make it easy though and look at what was historically right here. There was a Sparta, there was a king named Leonides and a place named Thermopolis, there were Persians and their king was Xerxes and, there was a Greece. And everybody had nipples. So, we have history taken care of. Now we can get on with the film. I was wondering what they did with all the outtakes from Lord of the Rings. Was it just me or did the Immortals look like orks? And when they couldn’t beat the Spartans, what did they do? They turned Mongo loose! And this guy was tough! (even though he looked like one of the party crashers in “Weird Science”) Stab him in the arm, just a scratch. Stick him in the eye, “I’m not dead yet”. You gotta chop off his head. Explain this one to me. Conservatively speaking, half a million troops, over a thousand warships, and they can only afford ONE combat rhino? And I haven’t seen elephants that clumsy since the first Fantasia. And when you ask a Spartan what his occupation is, the answer is “Woo Woo Woo”. The last guy to use that line in a film was Curly Joe Howard! Visually, it was great. Best cape work I’ve seen since “Spawn”. And who knew there was gainful employment for lepers? You could become a priest of the oracle and spend your days licking drunken teenage nymphets. Sweet. Trying to discuss the holes in this film afterward with a couple of women was like trying to have a female explain to you that there was no plot in Hallie Berry’s “Catwoman”. You just can’t make the connection. All in all, a great time and definitely worth the trip. And the best part is, you can buy it on DVD and just crank heavy metal music. Might make more sense.
Kudos to Heather Mills on Dancing with the Stars. Best hip hop number I’ve seen in years. And congrats to the NIT for the WVU/Clemson final. One of the most exciting zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………………………..
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