 Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Rangers versus Sabres Game 4
PermaGuest Outlaw Jack went to the Rangers-Sabres Game 4 at the Garden and filed this brief but entertaining report and photos.
"Much beer was had. The Garden was electric with the power of the fans cheering the Rangers on through the game."
The Rangers won the game 2-1 to tie the best of 7 series at 2 games apiece. Game 5 is in Buffalo on Friday.
Photo posted by Steve with special commentary from PermaGuest Outlaw Jack posted by the Tank in NY.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Joe Torre
The Yankees lost two out of three against the Red Sox this past weekend. They are 6.5 games out of first place. There have been calls for Joe Torre's job. I give Torre until Memorial Day to straighten it out. If not, it MAYBE time to part company. Please here me out. As much as I would like to fire Carl Pavano, I would if I could but I can't so I won't.
As much as I like Joe, he may have to pay the price. By no means as I letting GM Brian Cashman off the hook for the players he gave Joe to manage. Injuries play a big part too. I am keeping the faith in Joe and appreciate Steve's vote of confidence on Sunday.
I said going into the season that this is Joe's last season with the Yankees but hope it doesn't end with the Boss' pink slip during the season.
Posted by a really concerned Tank in NY.
Monday, April 30, 2007
The Tank is on the Clock (NFL Draft)
Day 2 of the NFL Draft is where Super Bowl champions are made. According to ESPN's Suzy Kolber, 60 percent of the players in the NFL are chosen on Day 2. Speaking of Suzy, it's always great to be in her presence here at Radio City Music Hall in Manhattan. Suzy is on the right background with colleagues Ron "Jaws" Jaworski, Chris Mortensen, and Mel Kiper Jr. (From Suzy's right.)
Speaking of the Patriots, their future Hall of Famer QB Tom Brady was selected on Day 2. Marc Bulger and Matt Hasselbeck were other sixth round draft picks who made it big. Who will be this year's Day 2 Diamond in the Rough? Only time will tell.
Breaking News on ESPN: Condolences to Saint Louis Cardinals fans like Medford Bob and Shawn for the loss of Josh Hancock in a car accident.
Though not a full house like yesterday, Radio City is buzzing with excitement. Great songs like BNL's "It's All Been Done" play overhead. It was great seeing them last November after the NYC Marathon.
This is my third consecutive NFL Draft. The Draft is like a Christmas Armstice for rival teams. It's a chance to catch up with old friends and acquaintances. I saw some Eagles acquaintances and their cast off Redskins in-law that they "tolerate" for obvious reasons. Speaking of in-laws, my brother-in-law Jim is a Dolphins fan. I am surprised that they passed on Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn. Questions remain as far as the health of their quarterback Dante Culpepper. There are reports Sunday morning that the Dolphins are trying to get Kansas City's QB Trent Green.
You know that I am multi-tasking trying to bring the story to you. I am listening to the NFL Network closed circuit TV in my left ear, ESPN closed circuit TV in my right ear, and mobile phone earpiece around my neck to take calls from Buffalo Steve and other friends. I am also talking to my fellow fans and met players like Cleveland's Braylon Edwards below.
Buffalo Steve calls back after going to my Goddaughter's friends birthday party. He reports that the Sabres are losing 1-0 against the Rangers in the second period. One goal is disallowed which would have made it 2-0.
Local team overview:
The Bills addressed a RB need in Marshawn Lynch who is a good pass catcher, passer, and runner. It was an excellent pickup of LB Paul Posluszny from Penn State. Lynch and Posluszny will try to replace and London Fletcher-Baker, respectively. I don't know much about seventh rounder DE C.J. Ah You but he comes from a top rated Oklahoma program.
The Jets had a solid draft by trading up to draft Pittsburgh CB Darrelle Revis. They only had four picks overall because they traded up and the trade with the Bears for Thomas Jones which was a great deal.
Michigan's David Harris was a steal in the second round. He could have gone in the first round. WR Chansi Stuckey could be a seventh round sleeper and a possible go to guy for Chad Pennington.
The Giants had a good draft selecting CB Aaron Ross and WR Steve Smith from Texas and USC, respectively.
Biggest Draft Surpise: Brady Quinn dropping from a potential #1 pick to #22 to the Browns from the Cowboys. I didn't think that the national championship game quarterbacks like Ohio State's Troy Smith and Florida's Chris Leak dropped and weren't picked, respectively.
Biggest Winner: The Browns addressed offensive line and quarterback needs.
Biggest Trade Surprise Winner: Patriots acquire Randy Moss for a fourth round pick. Wow! Moss was recently confirmed running 4.29-4.30 second 40 yard dash in Boca Raton, Florida. He also agreed to redo his contract and trying to "find happiness". The Patriots have to be a favorite, if not the favorite, to win the Super Bowl. More on that later as we get off to start of the season.
Biggest Loser: It's hard to pick it here but ESPN's Mel Kiper Jr. has Tennessee as the loser for not getting more top receivers for QB Vince Young. Chris Leak of Florida wasn't drafted at all.
Best Value: The Ravens picking Heisman Trophy QB Troy Smith from Ohio State in the fifth round. Kyle Boller going to be a unrestricted free agent at the end of next season and Steve McNair is getting up there in football years. He had so many injuries that his wife is reportedly became a
registered nurse.
One thing is for sure is that the mother-son Buckeye-Bengals fans, Vicky and Doug, in front of me were relieved that Smith was finally selected. The other half of the family, the father and other son, went to the Final Four earlier this month.
At pick # 251, Jacksonville let all of its five minutes expire and was booed by myself and my fellow die hard fans exhausted by a long day and wanting to go home.
Until next year, this is the Tank on the clock reporting live from Radio City Music Hall in NY. 
 Live! | NFL
 Monday, April 30, 2007 12:33:28 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
|  Trackback
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Joe’s a Proven Winner
The rumors in the NY Press these days are that Joe Torre’s days as Yankee manager are numbered. As a fellow St. Francis Prep alumni, I have to defend Joe.
Joe is a proven winner. He has brought a degree of professionalism to the Yankee clubhouse and a sense of winning. Four World Series under his belt ought to count for something. It is not like Joe has been slacking since winning the 2000 World Series, the Yankees have won the American League East EVERY YEAR since 2000.
To get rid of Torre now would return the Boss back to the Billy Martin days of low credibility. George has his test. Let’s hope that he keeps Joe.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Coping With the Yankees 7 Game Losing Streak
The Tank had two strikes against him Friday night. I had a ticket to the Red Sox - Yankees game but couldn't go because I was working late on a Windows XP migration at work. (Strike 1). Strike 2 was the fact that the Yankees lost their fourth straight to the Red Sox and seventh straight overall in this very young season.
Instead of drowning my tears in beer, I decided to squeeze in a workout at the gym and catch the end of the painful 11-4 defeat to the Red Sox and the late, late movie. It just wasn't any movie, it was none other than "Blades of Glory" starring Will Ferrell as Chaz Michael Michaels and Jon Heder as Jimmy. Chaz and Jimmy make an unlikely comeback as former banned singles figure skating champions who join forces to compete as the first ever same sex figure skating pair.
It made me, albeit for a brief time, LMAO and forget the Yankees problems. Since I was in the movies, I had to shut off the ringer which was a good thing because I didn't have to hear Robert in Tampa and/or Medford Bob call and vent about the Yankees pitching. Robert in Tampa and Medford Bob are great friends but I can only afford one sports related emotional breakdown per calendar year. I wish I was Yankee GM Brian Cashman to try to fix the Yankees problems but am not so please stop calling late at night because I need to sleep, not much, but sometime. Being the Tank is a 24 hour job and I not only write about sports, but I live and breathe them. It's to the point that my friend PG calls me "24" like Jack Bauer on "24", the best show on TV, because I don't sleep much.
Back to the movie. It had a number of priceless lines like Chaz's "I skate to one song and one song only, My Humps, by the Black Eyed Peas." There were also too many funny scenes and lines to blog. If you haven't seen it, please do so. It's just what the doctor ordered.
As for the Yankees, please continue to pray for them as I book a flight to Houston to beg Roger Clemens to pitch for us ASAP.
Posted by an increasingly desperate Tank in NY.
MLB | Movies
Saturday, April 28, 2007 12:44:58 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
| Trackback
Friday, April 27, 2007
NFL Draft Preview
The NFL Draft marks one of the best weekends of the year. Spring has sprung, longer days of the summer are almost here, and fall football will be back before you know it.
It's also time for lots of teams to get ready to address their current and present needs. I'll focus on the local teams needs.
(1) Bills: Lots of holes, I don't know where to start. RB Willis McGahee was traded. LB London Fletcher-Baker and CB Nate Clements were lost to free agency.
Expect the Bills to go after Pittsburgh CB Darrelle Revis and try to draft running backs in later rounds. However, if Adrian Peterson or Marshawn Lynch drop, they might be too tempting to pass up.
(2) Jets: Tight end.
Free agent RB Tommy Jones from the Bears was huge for the Jets and "already gelling with the guys" according to Nick Mangold who was on Stephen A. Smith's show on ESPN 1050 AM on Wednesday. Stephen A's former co-host Brandon Tierrany made a great point last summer that the Jets needed to get (draft/trade/sign) a running back. If the Jets had a successor to Curtis Martin, they could have gone farther if they did last season.
Expect the Jets to address other needs like tight end. Miami (The U)'s TE Greg Olsen who runs a 4.51 second 40 yard dash. If still available, Olsen would be a perfect possession target for Chad Pennington.
(3) Giants: Linebacker.
RB Tiki Barber retired and let go of OLB Carlos Emmons and LaVar Arrington.
Expect new GM Jerry Resse to go after Penn State LB Paul Posluszny.
Who will be the #1 Overall Pick? The Raiders have numerous needs and probably would be best served with picking a quarterback like LSU's Jamarcus Russell or Notre Dame's Brady Quinn. I would take Russell as he has better arm strength and more receivers to throw to. Quinn maybe best served going to Cleveland to play under Romeo Crennell who was a former Patriots colleague of his college coach, Charlie Weiss.
Character: It always matters, especially in light of the off the field issues like the Titans Pacman Jones, the Bears Tank Johnson (no relation), and the Bengals who had nine players arrested last season.
Expect teams to do extra due diligence and pass on questionable players. That said, it is hard to predict what a 22 year old kid goes from scraping by in college to becoming a millionaire overnight.
Injuries: Oklahoma's Adrian Peterson and Ohio State's Ted Ginn Jr. had notable injuries with Peterson having more question marks than Ginn. If I was an NFL GM, I would give California's Marshawn Lynch a look before Peterson.
Overall Outlook: Take the best player or fill their biggest need? What is a team to do? Georgia Tech's Calvin Johnson is the best athlete in the draft but only would touch the ball about 10 to 15 times a game. I lean toward taking the best player because you can always deal him.
I have seen and heard of a number of mock drafts. The most important thing is to enjoy the Draft and hope your team needs are met.
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister
Today's guest blogger is from friend and fellow journalist, Melanie Blythe, who covered Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister for UNCOOLKIDS.com. This review originally appeared on UNCOOLKIDS.com.
Without futher ado, here's Melanie's review:
Groggy, groaning, gurgly noises.
My head is killing me and WHERE are my PANTS??!! Well, let's see… the last thing I remember was something about Left Foot on Blue- OH MY GOD… that's right- last night I was at Disco Crisco Twister!!!!!
*****FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT*****
I arrive cool and collected to Arlene's Grocery, a trashy little place with great style- just the kinda place where 'Drama Queen' shirts, converse sneaks and red leopard skin dresses abound. There's a crowd playing FlipCup (and yes- it's a drinking game).
Dana Sterling (Queen of Amateur Female Jello Wrestling) and Annie Rocks (Music Promoter Extraordinaire) have teamed up once again to bring back the game of Twister, but this time with a twist- they've added a colorful slippery Crisco-like substance to the game board. And, believe me- this game is a lot more interesting than it used to be.
The Ramblers, the house band, plays the Disco Crisco theme song with guest singer Stephanie from Rotten Cheri. An event with it's own theme-song sounds like a good idea to me. Food Will Win the War had a different sound- go East Village!
DJ Skintight kept the great tunes coming when the bands weren't playing. Colin, Alan and Jessica were our Emcees for the evening.
COLIN: Let's lube this sh*t! (The slippery stuff is added & the games begin.)
Right Hand Green, Left Foot Red. I will survive, hey, hey.
ALAN: From here I feel like a proctologist with all these butts in the air. Dana is lubing up Becca, the birthday girl.
COLIN: That's dangerous right there.
Right Foot Yellow, Left Hand Blue.
COLIN: This twister board has a mind of it's own.
ALAN: Next time we should do it with a Ouiji board- I like the idea of evil spirits telling you where to go.
Dana takes on the board. I need some hot stuff baby this evening. She's a very freaky girl, the kind you can't take home to mother.
Left Foot Green, Right Foot Red. It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight.
GUY ON TWISTER BOARD: He's f*ckin' drippin' sweat on me, dude--- just go!
Left Foot Yellow, Left Hand Red. Just beat it, no one wants to be defeated.
Unexpectedly, this game of twister turns into twister in your underwear. Dude on board starts losing his boxers, but cannot move, lest he lose the game of twister. He's not about to back down. Dana and Becca wrestle his boxers off of him. People- we now officially have erotic, lubed up, naked Disco Crisco Twister and everyone is covered in green goo.
Kindergarten takes the stage with an animated performance and fresh punk/funk sound. The NY moon is beautiful. They start losing their clothes, too.
BECCA: When in doubt, get naked!
Everyone on the dance floor is in their underwear- the undies have taken over!
Overall: It's juvenile in the best possible way, it's ridiculous, its fun! Come alone or with friends- play or even just sit on the sidelines and watch the action from an unsticky vantage point. It was kinda a mix between a frat party drunken brawl and a child's sweet, innocent birthday party. I don't even remember who won, but I would definitely do it again. Catch Disco Crisco Twister monthly.
Now, let's see... what happened to my pants??
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Medford Bob Says
Medford Bob files the following report from his Oklahoma road trip:
REPORTING FROM OKLAHOMA
Tonight we went to Prague, Oklahoma to have dinner at a charming little place called the “Catfish Roundup”. Right away I knew we were in for a treat as it was situated next to this really nice trailer park right behind where the big rigs were parked. I knew it would be classy because the trailer people had their own commodes, both ladies and men, on the outside of the building. We went inside and naturally, there was a large fish tank with the aforementioned delicacies swimming about. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a live catfish but think of it as a New York subway rat with no feet that swims. Mighty fine eating ahead I’m thinking. I gotta confess that I feel about catfish the way I feel about venison. All my life I’ve heard “ it’s really delicious if it’s cooked right”. The answer on venison is, “I don’t care how you cook it, I hate it”. Tonight, we were dining at the catfish Four Seasons. Anyway, we go into the dining room and right away I notice it is decorated with the really good cheap paneling which served as a backdrop for all the mounted fish hanging on the walls. The maitre d was a young man who was dressed in an Okie hip hop interpretation of the uniform of the establishment. We still don’t know how he kept his pants up and I didn’t understand a word he said. We follow him over the uniformly stained indoor outdoor to our booth with the silk flowers and Formica tabletop. I sit down and look around the room and realize there may not be a full set of teeth collectively among the diners. Almost directly across from me is a tableful of truckers, one of whom had the most beet red face I’ve ever seen, and just kept staring at me. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to plug me or plug me! Either way I don’t think it would have mattered to him. Almost immediately we are approached by a young lady offering the house amuse bouche, apple fritters! What a delightful and whimsical interpretation. It made my heart stand still! Literally. Our waitress, Amanda, comes over, hands us the menu, and asks if we’d like to order. Call me old fashioned but I still have this crazy idea I’d like to see the choices before I commit. While we are deciding, the roll girl walks by, sees we have no food yet, and decides that we don’t need bread. What a health nut! Amanda comes back and Alma and I decide, what the heck, we’ll have the catfish. I mean, when in Rome right? Let me digress by saying that this place was recommended by Alma’s daughter Rox who “loved the batter around the fish because it had such a great flavor”. Rox lives in Montana, and when I asked her to describe a four star restaurant there she said “there isn’t any”. Anyway, the catfish dinner came with potatoes, coleslaw and something called hush puppies. Now, being from the Northeast, I thought a Hush Puppie was a soft suede shoe. And I wasn’t far off because while the outside of this thing was crispy (as was everything else except the cole slaw), the inside can only be described this way- “ if tofu were sand….” The catfish was as OK as a bottom feeder fried in hot grease can be. And Rox, the “great flavor in the batter” is called pepper. But at least we got our rolls. After we asked for them. And they were hot and good. But let me not be unkind. I think the food and the atmosphere blended harmoniously and I would recommend the “Catfish Outhouse” to anyone traveling on route 40 near Prague Oklahoma. Just stay away from the truckers.
Posted by the Tank for Medford Bob in Oklahoma.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Pilot Podcast: Double Steal
Our first ever podcast on NY Sports (Mets and Yankees) is available here. We cover the first week of the baseball season, A-ROD and Mets' pitching. This is self published, so the quality is good, just not studio quality.
Starting in a few weeks, this will be professionally produced by PWOP Production Services.
MLB | Podcast
Tuesday, April 24, 2007 2:07:49 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
| Trackback
Monday, April 23, 2007
Boston Arch-Rivals Beat Yankees and Mets
Though we were finally blessed with great weather in the NY area this past weekend, our baseball teams lost their series to their past and present Boston arch-rivals.
The Braves used to play in Boston before they moved to Milwaukee and then Atlanta. I wrote Steve privately going into the weekend that the Mets had to win two out of three and the Yankees had to win at least win one game.
My worst fears were confirmed as the Mets and Tom Glavine lost a chance to win the series and #294 for his career, respectively. The Yankees had Friday's game in the bag but Mariano unfortunately blew the save, his second in five days. I didn't expect much on Saturday and Sunday with rookie starters. Instead of only being two games back, we are four.
To present, the Mets have lost four out of six against the Braves and the Yankees were swept by the Red Sox. The Yankees have a chance to redeem themselves this weekend at the Stadium. I am not panicking yet as we have had three starters (Wang, Mussina, and Pavano) on the DL but Wang and Mussina will be back this week, God Willing. However, I have Roger Clemens on speed dial.
Posted by a concerned Tank in NY.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Nor'easter and Tax Day Jello Wrestling
If it is the second Sunday of the month, then it must be time for the world's premier sports SATIRE, Amateur Female Jello Wrestling. Amateur Female Jello Wrestling is not your father's wrestling nor your mother's feminism. It has to be seen live to be believed.
For our non-American readers, today is a day that all Americans dread, Tax Day. The Northeast also pounded New York with eight inches or 20 centimeters of rain.
It's great to see familiar faces like Skella Bella, Tiana, Dana Sterling, and Annie Rock.
Before the matches started, a journalist named Maria interviewed me. Maria asked me about the typical SteveAndTheTank.com reader. I really couldn't answer her because I am grateful that we have readers all over the world. For instance, when Steve speaks at IT conferences around the world in diverse places like Egypt, Pakistan, and other far away lands are exposed to something that they normally would not in their home countries. I think Amateur Female Jello Wrestling and Steve and the Tank play a small but important role in "democratization" if you will of those closed socities.
DJ Kowabunga and Schweron (pictured below) warmed up the crowd. Good job on "Swamp Thing".
After their brief set, the Tank peeked at the TVs above the bar to catch the NBA scores. The NJ Nets beat the Indiana Pacers 111-107. The Knicks lost to Toronto 107-105.
Hoola Hoop Contest: Since the Tank won musical chairs at last month's Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister, Dana asked me to approach the stage. The Tank did not win the hoola hoop contest. Dana advised me to practice more but I replied that I am too busy blogging. 
Without further ado, "let's get ready to jello wrestle!!!!!!!!"
Veronica Vicious is your ring announcer. Tiana is doing double duty as co-announcer and your referee, AKA the Goddess of Plunder. She sounds like the IRS.
(1) The Mad Mistress versus the Dangerous Divorcee:
Not only is pride on the line but the future of the Mad Mistress' fiance, Jimmy. The winner gets Jimmy, only possible in Amateur Female Jello Wrestling.
The ladies arm lock around the shoulders. Divorcee arm bars Mistress. Mistress counters by spanking and then flipping the Divorcee. Both ladies body slam one another. Amazing!
True to her word, the Divorcee takes the Mistress down.
Back and forth they go with side body locks and spanks.
The Dangerous Divorcee slams and pins the Mad Mistress as promised. Therefore, the Mad Mistress is no longer engaged to Jimmy as he is going home with the Dangerous Divorcee.
(2) Spring Fling versus Martha Do-It:
These are two real roommates who are going to settle differences like whose hair is in the drain and singing John Denver tunes in the shower. This isn't Dr. Phil or the People's Court, it's Amateur Female Jello Wrestling. Let's settle it in the ring ladies.
Who will win this epic battle?
"Poison!" blares over the spears as quick body slams and hair pulls. There is jello flying everywhere including some hitting the Tank. What the Tank doesn't do for our loyal readers.
In a first for the Tank, the Martha Do-It has a bloody nose. She tries to continue the match but it is called.
(3) Skella Bella versus Boom-Boom:
"I have stared into the face of eternity and my opponent wasn't there," Stella Bella bellowed as she was asked for her pre-match comments. Both wrestlers literally dance around but get to the matter at hand. Stella executes leg take downs. Boom Boom reverses. The jello is hitting the fan and each other. Stella spanks Boom Boom. After a side take down, Stella dives through Boom Boom's legs. Boom Boom counters and rolls out. Side head lock. Stella flips Boom Boom and gets the pin. "You just wait until next lifetime," Boom Boom says in her post match interview. Photo of SB and BB at ring side. (4) Goddess of Plunder versus Bushwhacking Bunny: Plunder is looking forward to "rabbit jello soup." Both wrestlers go from a quick hug into a take down. Plunder tries for a side lock and the Bunny puts her ears on. Plunder slams Bunny. Bunny counters and flips Plunder. Both wrestlers somehow find their way to their feet. Plunder pulls Bunny down and pins her. Plunder wins. (5) The Dangerous Divorcee versus Spring Fling: Spring Fling brings quite a crew. The weather might be a nor'easter outside but Spring Fling is in full summer bloom. She brags about her nose bleed in her pre-match interview. The Divorcee and Fling lock up and around the ring. Fling is down and Divorcee body slam her. Fling goes for the hair pull. "I love you Jimmy!" the Divorcee shouts. She is dangerous indeed. Fling takes advantage of the Divorcee's love proclamation and back slams her. Divorcee somehow gets up, they lock up, and then slip down. Divorcee is flipped by Fling. Fling counters by body slamming the Divorcee. Fling goes for the pin and keeps the Divorcee down for a three count before should can get out of it. "Jimmy should be scared," Fling quips. Is Jimmy mere male chattel who is traded between women on rough and tumble action in and out of the ring? I am afraid so. (6) Red Alert (formerly Martha Do-It because of the bloody nose) versus the Mad Mistress: They lockup. Red Alert slams the Mistress and pulls her hair. Both wrestlers try to stand. Red Alert slams the Mistress down. The Mistress counters with a body slam. Red Alert somehow recovers and side slams the Mistress from her knees and gets the quick pin. (7) Skella Bella versus the Bunny: Bunny falls in morbid fear of Skella. She kicks out of a quick pin. Both wrestlers roll around to no advantage. Skella slams Bunny into mat. Bunny jumps in between Skella's legs. Skella tries the leg pin. The Bunny reverses and body slams Skella. Skella does a reverse German suplex and pins the Bunny with her behind. Take that Chris "The Wolverine" Benoit. "Where are my ears?" the Bunny cries. "Death has buns of steel," Skella Bella bellows. (8) Boom Boom versus the Goddess of Plunder: Boom Boom dances around the ring as Fugitive Kind takes the stage for the last match before the championship round. Down on the mat they go. Brief camel clutch which the Iron Sheik would be proud of. (Speaking of the Iron Sheik, I almost ran into him near the Reggae Room in the basement of Webster Hall about a decade ago.) Slide around. Plunder dives between Boom Boom's legs and then side slams her. Both wrestlers get to their feet. Boom Boom falls down, gets up, slams Plunder down, and gets the pin. ------- Upcoming Events: The Tank did not know that his Iron Sheik reference at Webster Hall almost a decade ago is coming full circle as the next Amateur Female Jello Wrestling is at Webster Hall. Freakin' awesome! Webster Hall is one of my favorite clubs. After you spend Mother's Day with your Mom, come on out to Amateur Female Jello Wrestling on Sunday, May 13. But wait, there more, May 13 is also the Tank's birthday. ------------------ While the Tank refills on his orange juice and cranberry at the bar, Dodgers lead the Padres 5-1 in the third inning. Hank Aaron in the booth with fellow Hall of Famer Joe Morgan and Jon Miller on the ESPN telecast. All Dodgers are wearing #42 in honor of the late, great Jackie Robinson. ---- Championship Round: (9) The Dangerous Divorcee versus Skella Bella: "I can see that you are already in mourning," Skella declares and then side rolls into the ring. They lock up. Skella side slams the Divorcee. The Divorcee falls down in between Skella's legs but quickly recover to side slam Skella. Skella somehow dives in between the Divorcee's legs and then side flips her. Skella's offensive continue with an incredible back throw. The Divorcee makes an incredible comeback to side slams Skella. Skella counters with and arm bar and side flip. She executes a flip and pins the Divorcee. Incredible! This type of incredible competition can only be found in the championship round of Amateur Female Jello Wrestling. "There is no stopping my morbid advance," Skella emphatically declares. (10) Red Alert versus Bush Whacking Bunny: They lock up at the shoulders and quickly size each other up. The Bunny throws Red Alert. The Bunny bodyslams Red Alert. The Bunny then celebrates with a dance while Salt and Pepper's "Smush it". Red Alert side flips the Bunny which causes an impending wardrobe malfunction. The Bunny repairs the damage. The ungrateful Red Alert steals the Bunny's tail. The Bunny counters and pulls Red Alert's legs. Red Alert recovers quickly and then slip to the mat. Red Alert "smushes" the Bunny and makes some stew. "I feel proud that I was able to make a meal," Red Alert deliciously says. (11) The Mad Mistress versus the the Goddess of Plunder: The Mistress rolls into the ring and both wrestlers hop around the ring. The Mistress takes an early advantage. Plunder tries to hook Mistress' leg but Mistress slips out. Both wrestlers wrestle to close to the Tank's ringside location. The Mistress bodyslams Plunder. Plunder somehow rolls out and side flips the Mistress. Mistress counters with a clothesline. Both wrestlers roll around in a an embarce. The Mistress rolls Plunder into a small package for the win. "In my fight for Jimmy, it's worth it!" the Mistress exclaims. Jimmy replies that "I am the luckiest guy of all." (12) Spring Fling versus Boom Boom: The wrestlers dance around and the jello starts flying.
Fling throws down Boom Boom. Boom Boom gets on top of Fling. Fling counters with bodyslams. Boom Boom counters with a hair pull.
Fling jumps out of the way of Boom Boom's body slam attempt.
Opposing fans cheer "Kaboom!" for Boom Boom and "Spring" for Spring Fling.
Fling pulls Boom Boom's hair.
Boom Boom goes for the pin. Fling flips Boom Boom from her knees. Fling falls. Boom Boom bodyslams and poses for the cameras. Her hubris costs her the match as Fling gets the far ring pin.
(13) Skella Bella versus Red Alert:
"You shall bleed," Skella declares.
Dana invites Matt and his Mom to the next Amateur Female Jello Wrestling on Mother's Day at Webster Hall.
Skella drops to a knee and side throws Red Alert. Red Alert counters. Skella side flips Red Alert. Both wrestlers roll around. Skella goes for the hair pull.
Skella leverages herself and dives in between Red Alert's legs.
The Dangerous Divorcee gives the edge to Skella during her intra-match commentary. Shortly thereafter, Skella gets the pin.
"May you rest ease though I will not forgive the fracture of my nose," Skella warns.
(14) Spring Fling versus The Mad Mistress:
Fling takes the early advantage by slamming the Mistress. "Do it for Jimmy!" someone shouts from the crowd.
The Mistress tries to rally as the Hulkster did years ago but Fling gets the quick pin.
Championship Round:
(15) Skella Bella versus Spring Fling:
The Shapes will perform during the final match.
"I wish you to know that winter will always come," Skella scowls before she does her patented flip into the ring.
Dana asks the Tank who he will win and I give the edge to the Skella with the experience. Who will win the newcomer or veteran?
Skella rolls out Fling. Fling tries pull to pull Skella's closely trimmed hair.
Back and forth they go.
Skella kicks Fling off of her, grabs her with an arm lock and then side throws Fling.
Skella falls to her stomach. Fling rolls her over and pins her pictured below.  "I feel like the blossoming season that my name is," Fling celebrated.
"You too shall die!" Skella counters pictured below.
That's it for Amateur Female Jello Wrestling at Don Hill's. See you next month at Webster Hall.
Posted by the Tank.
|
| January, 2009 (8) |
| December, 2008 (34) |
| November, 2008 (30) |
| October, 2008 (31) |
| September, 2008 (29) |
| August, 2008 (30) |
| July, 2008 (30) |
| June, 2008 (30) |
| May, 2008 (31) |
| April, 2008 (30) |
| March, 2008 (31) |
| February, 2008 (29) |
| January, 2008 (30) |
| December, 2007 (32) |
| November, 2007 (32) |
| October, 2007 (33) |
| September, 2007 (33) |
| August, 2007 (31) |
| July, 2007 (33) |
| June, 2007 (30) |
| May, 2007 (32) |
| April, 2007 (33) |
| March, 2007 (31) |
| February, 2007 (29) |
| January, 2007 (32) |
| December, 2006 (30) |
| November, 2006 (26) |
| October, 2006 (32) |
| September, 2006 (28) |
| August, 2006 (23) |
 |