 Thursday, May 17, 2007
Lastings Milledge Must Go
Top prospect Lastings Milledge has to go. This guy has Darryl Strawberry or Dwight Gooden written all over him: great talent but a sense of entitlement and will eventually piss away his career.
My dislike for Milledge started last year after his call up when he high-fived the fans, then when he was late for a game and then when he was called up again in September his attitude as if he were going to be the starting right fielder in the playoffs. Now his rap song and label. Milledge recorded a song, "Bend Ya Knees" and it was posted on the Web site www.souljaboirecords.com, the record he founded. He uses racist and sexist lyrics.
I think there is tension between Omar and Willie. Omar really likes Milledge and I can tell that Willie can’t stand him. David Wright is not a Milledge supporter, ever since Milledge’s minor league days. When Wright was in the minors Milledge was called up to the championship and sat on the bench since he was all of 19. When the team won nobody partied harder than Milledge. Wright and several other teammates locked him in the bus bathroom for the drive home!
The same thing was happening last September. Near the end of the season, a sign was posted in his locker at Washington -- "Know your place, rook. Your teammates."
Time for him to go.
Mets Win, Jose Reyes Out
The Mets won Thursday night, however, Jose Reyes left the game early with a muscle cramp in his left leg. No word yet on his condition.
Jose Reyes Update-
Thursday 8am. Reyes says he is a-ok and will play in Thursday's day game.
Posted by a nervous Steve in New York
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
What to do about Guillermo Mota?
Last year Guillermo Mota had a positive steroid test and is currently serving a 50-game suspension. Even with this knowledge, the Mets gave him a two-year, $5 million deal last year.
Guillermo Mota is a cheater. He is a bad example for young Mets fans and should have been released. I know the Mets bullpen needs him, but I would rather lose then win with a cheater. Apparently the Mets' front office disagrees with me. Unless there is a canceled game, Mota will be activated May 30, for the Mets' 51st game. Mota made his Mets AAA (Zephyrs) debut Monday night where he pitched a scoreless eighth.
I will boo Mota at Shea this year.
Posted by a disappointed Steve in New York.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Jose Reyes Too
So Jose Reyes joined in and shaved his head too. "That is so cool, a young team doing that-it really is special" was the quote of one Yankee fan.
Being part of a team is something special, and the Mets are a special team. They are exciting and fun to watch. Yesterday they were down 4-0 early and you just knew that they would come back. That has a lot to do with teamwork. There is no one superstar on the Mets like on some other teams that carry them. Oliver Perez is the hero on Sunday, David Wright the hero on Monday, and how knows who will be the hero on Tuesday.
Yankess-Mets This Weekend
Steve boycotts the subway series games in person. Since the whole city roots for the Yanks, Steve retreats to the comfort of his living room and his HD TV. Looks like the Mets pitching lineup will be Oliver Perez on Friday, Tom Glavine (going for #295) on Saturday and (MLB ERA Leader) John Maine going on Sunday. SInce the Yanks have a day off, their rotation is not set up yet for the weekend. No Rocket v Glavine since Roger Clemens is scheduled to make a minor league start this week.
Posted by Steve in New York
Monday, May 14, 2007
"I wish the Nets were already in Brooklyn."
I uttered the comment in the subject line to Linda and Sara while we were at the Brooklyn Pig Roast in DUMBO (Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass) on Saturday afternoon. I am grateful that I didn't say it too loud as to avoid a beat down from NIMBYites (Not In My Back Yard) opposed to construction of the new stadium for the Brooklyn Nets. 
The "Brooklyn" Nets would have saved me schlepping out to the swamps of Jersey to watch the Nets host King Lebron James and the Cavaliers. To watch the pre-game intro, I was flashed back to Cirque du Soleil with all the pyro that the Nets flashed for their faithful.
The Nets are down 2-0 after losing in Cleveland to start the series. To get back in the series, the Nets needed to get off to a quick start and did. Jason Kidd hits a couple of three point shots. Nets led 14-4 at the 7:11 mark. Cleveland came back but the Nets lead 22-15 at the end of the first quarter.
Timeouts featured great cameos from bigtime Nets fans like James Gandofini. For a guy who has been mistaken for Mr. Soprano by Americans, Brasilians, Dominicans, and even Italians, you better root for the Nets or else. Capiche?
The Cavs take their first lead, 38-37, with about three minutes left. Vince Carter jogs past my location in the 23rd row. He winces as he holds his left shoulder with about a minute remaining in the third quarter. At half, the Nets lead 45-43.
Not all fans rooted for the Nets. There were quite a few Cavs fans. While the crowd would chant "Defense", a guy in front of me changed "Offense". His wishes didn't come true as the Nets expanded their lead to 73-64 at the end of the third quarter.
Lebron hits a three to close the lead to 77-73 with 9:46.
I hate thundersticks that the Nets gave out before the game but love the Nets dancers pictured below.
After a back court violation with 8:26 left, the Nets still lead 77-73. The Cavs must have been distracted by the Nets dancers.
Jason Kidd grabs a rebound, throws a football pass to Vince Carter who slammed it home. The was the straw that broke the camels back. During a TV time, the PA system blares out, "I don't want to work". The "Cheers" crew starts playing "We Will Rock You" on the main screen while a spotlight highlights a kid hitting on his plastic cans with drums. WWE superstar Mick Foley is then shown on the screen.
With a 13 point lead with 2:59 left, WNBC's Bruce Beck heads for the exit. Beat the traffic, eh Bruce? Of course, I stay until the end to watch the crowd give a standing ovation to Jason Kidd who in now in second place on the NBA playoff triple double list with 11. Jason only trails Magic Johnson who I was privileged to meet in Los Angeles in July 1991.
The Nets substitute in their reserves and seal the 96-85 victory.
Posted by the Tank reporting live from the Continental Airlines Arena in the swamps of Jersey.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Happy Birthday to the Tank!
Today is both Mother's Day and the Tank's b-day. I would like to wish him a very happy birthday and for his birthday, I am going to shave his head like David Wright!
Posted by Steve in New York.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Happy Mother's Day
I know it's a day early, but I wanted to wanted to wish all the Moms, especially my Mom, a happy and healthy Mother's Day.
Moms are special and my Mom is the most special of them all. My Mom wasn't born in America and didn't understand all the sports that I grew up playing and watching. But she always supported me through good times (Yankees victories) and bad times (Bills four consecutive Super Bowl losses). She would call after the latter to comfort me and ensure that I wasn't too depressed.
A mother's love is unconditional and my Mom's is the best. I love you Mom. Happy Mother's Day to all!
Posted by a grateful Tank in NY.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Fight Like a Girl - Girls Only Pillow Fighting League
Continuing in the spirit of reporting underrepresented women's sports, SteveAndTheTank.com bring you the latest entry into the local scene, Girls Only Pillow Fighting League, from Toronto, Canada.
After reading Linda's e-mail in mid January about the event, I immediately ordered eight tickets and tried to rally the Gang together. Scorers Mike, Johnny Versace, Peter, Linda, and I entered the Galapagos Art Space in Williamsburgh, Brooklyn. I sold the last minute "no show" tickets to the overcapacity crowd and covered the cost of my ticket. I am not only a blogger, but an entrepreneur.
One of the great things about SteveAndTheTank.com is that you can be whoever you want to be. For instance, fashion designer Johnny Versace was killed almost a decade ago but comes back to live in a special afterlife experience performed by new friend John. Scorers Mike is none other than international playboy Mike. Scorers Mike currently dates an adult performer from the world famous Scorers Gentlemen's Nightclub.
To take a step back, you may ask yourself what is Girls Only Pillow Fighting League (GOPFL)? GOPFL is the Toronto based brainchild of Stacey P. Case. You may think of your sister and her friends who used to have slumber parties and playfully hit each other with their cute pillows when they were kids. Not here, these are grown women who are angry, studied martial arts, and ready to kick your arse. Be afraid, very afraid.
In preparation for GOPFL, I printed out profiles of each pillow fighter and studied each one. Linda and the Gang thought the Tank was a stalker but I am a well prepared blogger who takes his craft seriously. Would the Persian Princess from Tehran, Iran, fight tonight or would her love of "enriching uranium" keep her out of the country given the tense relations between the US and Iran?
The Tank's preparation paid off as he immediately identified Betty Clocker and her fellow competitors as they marched down the stairs from the attic by the Gang and myself to the main area of the
Galapagos Art Space.
"Good luck Betty!" I cheered. Betty smiled and waved to me. It's a tough job balancing journalistic integrity and being a fan of women's sports.
We get to the main area just in time as the rules are being explained. According to the website, the rules are as follows:
(1) Female pillow fighters only. No exceptions.
(2) Professional pillow fights are won via pinfall, surrender, or referee stoppage. If a pillow ends at the time limit with no winner, a winner is declared by a three-judge committee, using the traditional 10 point system. Pillow fighters are judged based on Style, Stamina, and the Eye of the Tiger.
(3) Pillow fighting is Fun. No biting, scratching, or hair pulling. Malicious intent and blatant disregard of your opponent's safety (or your own) may result in immediate suspension and/or dismissal from the League.
(4) Moth guards, knee pads and elbow pads are mandatory.
(5) Bearing in mind Rule #3, most anything goes in a pillow fight, as long as there is a pillow at the point of contact. Preventing your opponent's offense by holding her pillow is not allowed.
(6) Pillow fighters must practice good sportswomanship. No rude, lewd, or suggestive behavior.
(7) A pillow is not a weapon. Deliberately compressing the pillow fibres to increase the density of the pillow is not allowed. Loading a pillow with any foreign object is strictly forbidden.
Number One Contender Matches:
Professional Match #1: Jane Doe versus Sailor Gerri versus Roxxy Balboa.
Referee Matt Patterson blows his whistle and shouts "Fight Like a Girl!". The pillow fighters run into the ring to grab their pillows with the Girls Only Pillow Fight League labeled on them.
The action in the three way match is fast and furious. There is mixed martial arts combined with pillow fighting. You can't go wrong with that.
Sailor Gerri wins the three way match.
Professional Match #2: Ursula Anvil versus Lynn Somnia.
Being a sleep deprivation victim, Lynn Somnia yawns as she walks into the ring. Lynn Somnia awakens from her slumber to take Ursula Anvil down with a pile driver.
They exchange one handed pillow slugs. Lynn Somnia goes for the pin. "Put her in the sleeper hold!" Johnny Versace yells.
Close but no three count as the referee calls for a resumption of the action. Ursula Anvil recovers and puts Lynn Somnia in a headlock.
Lynn Somnia someone gets out of it, falls asleep on Ursula Anvil, and wins the "barn burner" of a match.
Professional Match #3: Boozy Suzy (sporting spiked hair) versus Scrapula.
"No biting" Scorers Mike and referee Sarah Bellum warn the fighters.
Scrapula fights with fangs in her mouth. Scrapula connects combos but starts to tire. Boozy Suzy gets in a quick headlock.
They roll around and Boozy Suzy has the upper hand. Scrapula's fangs come out. Real punches are thrown.
Random shouts like "Pile driver", "Figure 4", and even "Doggy style" are heard from the excited crowd.
The time limit is reached and there is no winner by pin fall. The judges score the match 10-9, 9-10, 9-9. Commissioner Stacey P. Case decides one more minute of fighting.
The crowd shouts "Let's Go Boozy!"
Boozy Suzy goes for the quick hit and sudden death pin. Suffocation. Scrapula's fangs are knocked out and Boozy Suzy gets the win. Referee Sarah Bellum announces the unanimous decision.
The announces prepares the crowd for amateur matches featuring women from the crowd. A desperate man (not me) shouts "What if you are a guy?" Sorry, sir, no pillow fighting for you.
Professional Match #4: Sarah Bellum versus Sister Resistor. Sarah Bellum has an opportunity for revenge from a previous bout. Sister Resistor has the height and weight advantage.
Sister Resistor goes for a crab pin.
A man shouts "Sarah Bellum, that's using your head!"
Sarah Bellum is good at parrying the blows. Sarah Bellum goes for the pin and takes Sister Resistor down twice.
Sister Resistor uses her size advantage to win 10-9, 9-10, 9-10 on the judges cards.
If it's any consolation, Sarah Bellum pictured below is my favorite pillow fighter.
As the Amateur Matches are about to begin, Linda escapes and goes for a beer. The amateur matches are only three minutes long.
Amateur Match #I: "Jersey Girl" versus "Orange Crush".
GOPFL Champain weighs in.
Jersey Girl gets off to fast start but Orange Crush slugs back. The referee warns Orange Crush about using her elbows.
As Linda returns from her beer run, Johnny Versace tells that "I'm going to sign you up as 'Luscious Linda'." Linda's eyes start rolling like slot machines.
As the action resumes, Orange Crush blocks the blow and rolls down Jersey Girl.
"Forget the pillows!" Scorers Mike shouts.
"Go back to Jersey!" Johnny Versace commands.
As the judges tabulate the score, the ring announcer asks "Was it harder than you thought?"
"Oh, yeah!" Jersey Girl responds. Orange Crush agrees with a "F*ck yeah".
In a split decision: 10-9, 9-10, 9-10, Orange Crush wins the match a GOPFL DVD.
Amateur Bout #2: Underage versus Sugar Gligghter wearing a reddish dress. Amazing.
"Why is the guy wearing an Elvis wig?" Someone asks.
Underage goes low and then high. They are too close to get extended blows.
"Eye of the Tiger" chant from the crowd.
Underage pushes away to try to break the stalemate.
"Take off your maternity dress!" an anonymous person yells.
"Fetal position!" Johnny Versace replies.
Sugar Gligghter is holds Underage down for the pin.
ESPN Magazine's Neil Janowitz is a celebrity judge.
Professional Match #5: Special two on one match: Trashley and Vic Payback VERSUS Eiffel Power the 8th Wonder of the World. Wow, she is taller than me and I am standing on chairs to cover the story for you.
Vic Payback pulls Eiffel Power's pillow while Trashley goes for the side slam. "Wishbone!" Scorers Mike shouts.
"Tear off her pants!" a woman yells (not Linda).
They finally pull her down. "Say it ain't so Eiffel!" Johnny Versace exclaims. Vic Payback gets the reverse pull down that Chris "The Crippler" Benoit would be proud of.
"Fight like the French!" Scorers Mike shouts.
Vic Payback and Trashley go for the two on one pin, get it, and win.
"Eiffel, I still love you!" Johnny Versace and Scorers Mike shout.
Professional Match #6: Carmen "Don't sleep with the door open" Monoxide VERSUS Lady Die: Lady Die is sporting black gloves. I wonder if the Cure or another goth band is sponsoring this match. Johnny Versace asks if it is his grandmother.
"Beauty versus the Beast!" Johnny Versace exclaims and he gets booed by the crowd.
They start slugging the pillows at each other.
After shouting "Kick her in the b*lls!" Johnny Versace is again booed by the crowd.
Both pillow fighters are worn out but somehow push on.
"Show her hair to mommy!" a stranger bellows.
Goes for a backwards pin. Arm bar and smother.
"Tickle her!" Johnny Versace quips.
The match ends and the judges score the match 10-9, 9-10, 10-9. Lady Die is victorious.
Professional Match #7: Betty Clocker versus Kilkelly.
Betty Clocker, the #1 contender from last night, is wearing her trademark apron versus Kilkelly wearing an Irish skirt with lucky charms.
Kilkelly gets off to a fast start with a take down.
"Betty is baking those cakes!" a stranger shouts.
Back and forth they go. Betty Clocker retaliates with a spear.
"Have her for lunch!" a stranger shouts.
"Betty, make me some shepherd's pie!" Johnny Versace bellows.
Betty goes for the smother but can't get the pin. Both go for the side take down. Betty falls on Kilkelly. Johnny Versace still wants shepherd's pie.
"Kilkelly Betty!" a stranger shows.
Both pillow fighters slug to the bell. The crowd chants Betty. Betty Clocker wins unanimously.
Amateur Match IV: Anna Conda versus Bonnie Bunny.
"I'm in love," Scorers Mike says. Now, I think that's a first. I'll have to double-check with Linda as she went to college with Scorers Mike.
"Bite me!" Johnny Versace beseeches.
Anna Conda hits Bonnie Bunny in the head. Bonnie Bunny returns with body blows.
"Sweep the legs!" someone coaches.
"Show her the venom!" Scorers Mike beckons.
"Show me that tongue again!" Johnny Versace pleads.
Anna Conda swings repeated blows and parries Bonnie Bunny's counter pillow attack.
This is like Rocky and Clubber Lang.
The referee has to catch the last blow as Anna Conda reloads.
"I just like to hit!" Anna Conda shouts.
"Rematch in my apartment," some guy exclaims.
10-9, Draw by Commissioner Stacey P. Case. Let's have a rematch in my apartment.
Amateur Match V: Pretty Pretty Princess versus Kuala Lampur versus Brooklyn.
I inform the Gang that he sees Extra Special Agent from Amateur Female Jello Wrestling near the doorway. Extra Special Agent and the Doom Maidens would clean up in the amateur or professional pillow fighting ranks. Are the Doom Maidens tonight's pillow fighting invasion angle?
Pretty Pretty Princess, Kuala Lampur, and versus Brooklyn.
The amateurs scramble to make alliances. First pin fall wins. The referee gives final instructions.
They start slugging Kuala Lampur.
"Go Southpaw!" a stranger shouts.
"Go for the throat" a woman in the crowd shouts. "Take her shirt off!" another woman shouts.
Pretty Pretty Princess won.
Amateur Match VI: Phlyliss Killer versus Southern Comfort versus Ninja the Bartender.
Sarah Bellum is your referee.
Chaos ensues as Ninja pushes off the alliance of Ninja and Southern Comfort. Ninja tries to kick out.
Ninja is pinned to the dismay of the crowd. They know who pours their drinks.
Amateur Match VII: Apillow Creed versus Axis of Evil versus Maj.
After the initial push and pull of pillows, Apillow and Maj get the upper hand. Maj then gets on top while the Axis of Evil slugs away.
In the words of WWE announcer J.R. (Jim Ross), it is a "slobber knocker."
The Axis of Evil bow out with a tooth ache. Therefore, it's down to Apillow versus Naj.
Apillow takes advantage of the break to reload to spin around and slug the Axis of Evil.
The judges score the match a draw, 10-9 Apillow, 10-9 Apillow.
Apillow spikes her pillow down like a football player spiking a football after scoring a touchdown.
Professional Match #8: The Semi Main Event: Scrapula versus Ursula Anvil for $100 Canadian.
Ursula Anvil extends early on. They alternate blows which causes a pillow malfunction. The referees send both fighters to their respective corners.
A couple of guys start chanting "Eye of the Tiger" and "Knock her teeth out".
Scrapula pulls down Ursula Anvil and then side slams her. Ursula Anvil reverses and pulls down Scrapula.
Scrapula somehow gets up and tries for the armbar. Her offensive continues with a leg pull and the match ends.
In the post match interview, Ursula Anvil thinks she is victorious and wants to buy beer and Scrapula wants to buy blood.
The judges score the match 10-9 Scrapula, 10-9 Ursula Anvil, and 10-9 Ursula Anvil.
Ursula wins by split decision and demands "American, NOT Canadian!" dollars. As pictured below, Ursula Anvil is a no-nonsense woman.
Professional Match #9: The Main Event: A demanage a tois of Sailor Gerri versus Lynn Somnia versus Boozy Suzy.
"Evil Elvis" is the celebrity judge for Champian.
Lynn Somnia puts out her cigarette in a cupcake. Boozy Suzy sporting a black eye and drinking a Grolsch beer.
Lynn Somnia and Sailor Gerri gang up on Boozy Suzy. Sailor Gerri swings to the top and Lynn Somnia swings down and behind Boozy Suzy. The pillow fighters are fast and furious in their efforts to become the #1 Contender for the GOPFL Championship Belt.
Scorers Mike shouts for the "Figure Four".
Sailor Gerri is on top while Lynn Somnia reties her boot.
"Sweep the leg Boozy!" a young lady behind me shouts.
Scorers Mike is rooting for Boozy Suzy. "What is that!" Scorers Mike surprisingly exclaims.
Boozy Suzy slugs Sailor Gerri who is trying to smother Lynn Somnia.
Sailor Gerri's back hurts and she needs to rehydrate during a brief break.
Boozy Suzy comes out swinging as the referee resets the action. Sailor Gerri and Lynn Somnia try to eliminate Boozy Suzy.
Lynn Somnia takes down Boozy Suzy. They roll around while Sailor Gerri pounds Boozy Suzy with repeated blows.
Sailor Gerri goes for the take down.
"Who wants it!" Scorers Mike exclaims.
Sailor Gerri pulls Boozy Suzy by the waist and pins her.
It's now down to Lynn Somnia versus Sailor Gerri. The crowd chants alternate between "Lynn" and "Sailor".
There is true sportswomanship as Sailor Gerri gives Lynn Somnia some water.
The referee gives the pillow fighters their cues and both come out swinging.
"Dude, there's blood on the pillow!" some guy behind me yells.
Lynn Somnia continues with one arm slugs and then goes for the take down. Sailor Gerri counters with a side headlock. Lynn Somnia somehow gets to her feet and takes down Sailor Gerri.
Lynn Somnia goes for the pin but it is off the mat and she falls asleep. OMG! But, she is Lynn Somnia after all. Sailor Gerri holds Lynn Somnia down for the pin.
With her win, Sailor Gerri is the #1 contender for Champaign's GOPFL championship belt on Friday, March 30.
Posted by the Tank reporting live from Galapagos Art Space in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
294/745=21
Strange high school math? Tom Glavine earned victory #294, all while giving up home run #745 to Barry Bonds, while 21 Mets players shaved their heads before (and after) a 4-1 victory.
The Mets, lead by David Wright, all shaved their heads. Even Shawn Green looks great! Glavine did not shave his head before the game, but did right after. Jose Reyes kept his locks as did Aaron Heilman, Aaron Sele, and pitching coach Rick Peterson. Carlos Beltran did the cutting and when he was done, Julio Franco (aka Father Time) cut Beltran's hair. Glavine cut his hair after the game.
Looks like it worked, the team got 4 runs and10 hits last night.
Posted by Steve in New York.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Upcoming Events
Dana Sterling, friend of Steve and the Tank and the Queen of Amateur Female Jello Wrestling and Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister, invites you to the upcoming Jello Wrestling and Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister events. See you there!
Hello Sportsfans!
We've had to change our May party schedule around a little, so we wanted to drop you a note to let you know the new dates:
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling: 5/20 at Webster Hall! Disco Crisco Twister: 5/27 at Arlene's Grocery!
Mark your calendar:
Amateur Female Jello Wrestling will premiere at Webster Hall this month on Sunday, May 20th at 8:00pm, with special guest performers: Fiasco, Violator, DJ Xerox, and Valeze (headlining at 10:30pm).
And for the first time ever, Jello will be free with RSVP through Going.com. One RSVP per person, and boys must come with girls. Boys: Don't know any girls to come with? Girls: want to pair up with a boy and get him in free? Luckily, you can see who's coming to this event and contact them on Going.com, so get yourself a friend, while you RSVP. :)
Disco Crisco Twister returns to Arlene's Grocery on Sunday, May 27, 2007 at 7:00pm, with special musical guests Rotten Cheri, DJ Skintight and The Problem, and special hosts Colin & Stephanie (of Rotten Cheri). Come play with us!
www.jellowrestle.com |
More info coming soon...
Are you a friend? Be a friend at Myspace.
Save the Dates:
*Amateur Female Jello Wrestling: Sunday, June 17, 2007*
Photography credit for Jello Flyer: Annie Burns
Photography credit for Disco Flyer: Annie Burns
Illustrations by: Rodney Ramos
Flyer and eBlast created by: annie*rock | | | | | |
Posted by the Tank in NY.
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