 Sunday, October 07, 2007
Jello Wrestling tonight - Sunday, October 7, at Arlene's Grocery
What is Amateur Female Jello Wrestling?
This is a Female-run Sports Satire. We mix showmanship and sportsmanship into a fun event where women get to show off their sense of humor as well as their bootie!
Want to come to the show?
Anyone can come to a show, but only girls can wrestle. This show takes place once a month in New York City. Check the website for location and details, or join our Mailing List!
Want to wrestle?
Females of all sizes, shapes, and skill levels are encouraged to participate. Just come to our "Wrestle Lesson," which is always at 6:30pm before our 8pm show. At that time, you will meet the other wrestlers and learn some fun stunts. Our wrestlers have stage personalities and names and often dress to fit their character. We will help you to find yours. Please invite your friends to the show to cheer for you as you achieve your wrestling glory!
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Week #5 NFL Picks
The Bills lose at home to the Cowboys.
The other "New York" teams meet in the swamps of Jersey with the Giants beating the Jets in a tough fought game.
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Rangers Opening Night
New York maybe a baseball town but its hockey fans are the most rabid. My friend and ex-boss John exemplifies the rabid Ranger fan. His two sons and one daughter all play hockey in high school and college. His wife is also a fan and they proudly fly the Ranger flag proud at their suburban Rockland County home.
They have suffered through 54 years without a Stanley Cup from 1940 to 1994 as well as ineptitude management by both the Garden and NHL. If that isn't three strikes, I don't know what is.
Former NJ D*vil, Scott Gomez, gets loud cheers. The cheers grow even louder goalie Henrik Lundqvist. Finally, the loudest cheers are for 1994 hero Brian Leetch who drops the ceremonial first puck.
The real puck is dropped moments later.
At 37 seconds, Rozsival scores assisted by Drury and Jagr. Whoa! Is this a repeat of my last Ranger game, 7-0.
Carl the Bell Hop is dressed in goalie gear. Friend and former co-worker Rich explains that the Rangers were looking for someone to wear goalie gear all about town. They filmed various spots around town from rowing a boat with a hockey stick in Central Park, riding a pedicab, riding in a cab, etc. They are all funny moments but why didn't they ask me? Didn't they see me in a Frosty the Snowman outfit trying to cheer my colleague up after 9/11 at my firm's 2001 company holiday party . Anyway, Carl the Bell Hop now has season tickets. Good onion Carl.
Julia Stiles and Peta Nemcova are the celebrities featured on the Garden Jumbotron. Getting a picture with A-Rod is cool but I would rather have my photo with either one of those beautiful ladies. 
Nina from work asks me for the score and it was Indians 4 - Yankees 1. While waiting in the food line, I hear screams coming from fans watching the TV down the way. The Yankees thankfully score a run and close the margin to 4-2.
The food line is taking forever. The Panthers tie the score and then take the lead 2-1 just after I got to my seat. What do you expect being outshot 14 to 6. Darn it!
The fans behind me start comparing the Rangers to the Mets. Their language is unrepeatable and make Steve and Linda look like the happiest people in the world. This is beyond sad. I don't know even if my positive energy can help them.
Former Saturday Night Live star Jimmy Falon is holding a Rangers program with James Dolan face on it. The camera shot is quickly ended we'll see how quickly he is escorted from the Garden. Falon should have taken to the freight after appearing in the Red Sox movie.
After 2 periods, Panthers 2 - Rangers 1. Indians 9 - Yankees 3 in the bottom of the 5th. Double darn!
The Rangers tie the game at 6:07 of the third period on a goal by Petr Prucha and assisted by Malik.
The Rangers fans have more fight than the team. Even radio ad star Bobby Granger pictured below is escorted from the Garden by security after fighting in the stands.
The third goal was scored by #23 Chris Drury assisted by Jagomir Jagr and Malik at 8:46. Malik has three points and still gets booed.
The Garden announcer didn't even have time to announce the third goal by Ryan Callahan at 8:58. Rich called it. Well done Rich! Rangers 4 - Panthers 2.
Dancing Larry grooves to "Strike It Up". Enough said.
Straka scores at 13:02 assisted by Malik and Drury. Rangers 5 - Panthers 2.
You can't go wrong with "Potvin sucks" chant nor with Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" during a TV timeout at 4:15.
"Hey Don" I shout out to ESPN 1050's Don LaGreca as he walks by. He nods and waves back.
In a game that truly had three acts -- a strong beginning, unspired middle, and a strong finish. I tell Rich if the Rangers don't make the Eastern Confernence Finals with a chance of winning it all, the season is a failure.
The last minute of the game is marked by "We want the Cup!" chants. Final score: Rangers 5 - Panthers 2.
The Stars of the Game:
#3: With three assists, Marek Malik finally gets cheers instead of boos.
#2: Jagomiar Jagr had two assists.
#1 With a gooal and two assists, Chris Drury lives a dream for a hometown kid to be the first star in the first game as a Ranger.
Sinatra's "New York, New York" serenades the departing fans.
Posted by the Tank reporting live from the World's Greatest Arena, Madison Square Garden.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Week #6 College Football Picks
Last week's recap:
I had another losing week at 1-2 (darn it!) and 6-5 on the season.
My fears about a bad week for Rutgers were confirmed by the "trap game" against an unranked but tough Maryland team.
Syracuse almost pulled it out against Miami (OH).
At least Cal beat out Oregon in a great game as I had predicted.
This week's fearless picks:
#11 South Carolina beats visiting #8 Kentucky.
Syracuse hosts and loses to #13 West Virginia.
#10 Oklahoma beats #19 Texas in the Red River Rivalry, a game I want to go one of these years.
#22 Clemson hosts and beats #15 Virginia Tech. This is the toughest game to pick this week.
#21 Rutgers avenges last week's loss and beats #20 Cincinnati in NJ.
#1 LSU hosts and beats #9 Florida in the game of the week and possibly the season.
#4 Ohio State beats #23 Purdue in West Lafayette.
#17 Missouri hosts and beats #25 Nebraska.
Posted by the Tank in NY.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
MLB Divisional Playoff Predictions
Yankees beat Indians in four games.
Red Sox beat Angels in five games.
Phillies beat Colorado in four games.
Cubs beat Diamondbacks in five games.
Posted by the Tank in NY.
The Tank's Taxi Strike Commentary on Fox 5 NY
Lightning strikes twice in a little over 24 hours. I met A-Rod on Monday and then I was interviewed by Fox 5 last night about the taxi strike. I was on the Upper East Side last night buying a my new pair of running shoes for next month's marathon. After recognizing my friend and co-worker Jim on the street and catching up with him for a few minutes, I was then asked by star Fox 5 reporter Andrea Day to comment on the looming taxi strike.
I don't know how long the interview will be on the website but a snapshot appears below.
Video courtesy of Fox 5. Posted by the Tank interviewed Live by Fox 5 TV from Upper East Side of Manhattan in NY.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Mariano Rivera is the Best Reliever of All Time, NOT Trevor Hoffman
Someone at Sports Illustrated had the gall to put Trevor Hoffman on the cover as the so-called best reliever of all time a few years ago. Since that time, I have yet to buy an issue of Sports Illustrated including the annual Swimsuit issue. I feel that strongly about this glaring oversight. Are their editors drug tested? Are covers proof read before publication?
My theory was proven correct last night at Hoffman blew a lead in the 13th inning against the Colorado Rockies and the Padres lost 9-8. OK, it's not easy to pitch at Coors Field for anyone. But Hoffman also blew a save on Saturday at Milwaukee. Had he saved Saturday's game, there would NOT have been a one game playoff.
Sure, no one is perfect and Hoffman belongs in the Hall of Fame based upon his entire career. But, Hoffman has no World Series rings and Mariano has four World Series rings including the 1998 Classic against Hoffman and the Padres. Furthermore, when you need a save in the clutch, there is only one candidate for the best reliever of all time, the one and only Mariano Rivera. Go Yankees!
Posted by an emotional Tank in NY.
Monday, October 01, 2007
A-Rod and The Tank Global Exclusive Photo
During my lunch break today, I took a taxi over to the East Side for physical therapy after running 18 miles in yesterday's New York City Marathon Tune-Up. Once I got out of the cab, I walked one block north to Fifth Avenue and 66th Street. I saw A-Rod and his business colleague across the street. Is it really A-Rod? (I really need laser vision surgery more than I thought. I do need to get rid of my geeky glasses and not being able to see well.) Yes, it was A-Rod, this is an opportunity of a lifetime. Once the light turned to the Walk Signal, they crossed the street and I asked if I could get a photo. A-Rod graciously agreed and the photo of us is below. He was really cool and I wished him the best of luck in the playoffs. Keep the Faith ! / Go Yankees!
Posted by an ecstatically grateful Tank reporting Live from Fifth Avenue and 66th Street in Manhattan.
P.S. Life Lesson: I am glad I recently bought a new and small digital camera that I carry almost everywhere. Wooooooooo!!!!!!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Can John Maine, The Tank, and Paperbag Kid Save the Mets Season? (Saturday's game)
I am running on fumes -- four hours of sleep after the Aussie Rules Football Grand Final late Friday night (early Saturday morning) and having to troubleshoot an issue at work early Saturday morning.
The Mets early runs came with two outs. Beltran singles home Castillo. The Mets lead 4-0. The Marlins change pitchers but Alou singles home Delgado. The Mets lead 5-0.
"The Natural" movie song and inspirational video comes on in between innings.
Castro singles. Milledge homers over the left field fence. Mets 7 - Marlins 0. Four Phillies fans with "Choke '07" on the back of their t-shirts parade around Shea in front of my Mezzanine position. They are booed and showered with beer, food, and rubbish.
Reyes bunts Maine to second. Castillo doubles home Maine. Mets 8 - Marlins 0. Wright grounds out. Beltran flies out to center. At the end of three, Mets 8 - Marlins 0.
With two out in the fourth inning, a lady behind me almost jinxes Maine's no hitter. Aussie Rod is forgiven for his earlier reference because this is his first visit to Shea. Aussie Rod and I exchange comparisons between cricket and baseball. In cricket, if the ball hits the batter's hand while he is batting, the ball is considered in play while it would be a hit by pitch or possibly a foul ball depending where and how it hit. Quite fascinating.
Milledge hits his second home run of the game to the Mets lead to 9-0. Maine strikes out. Jose doubles down the first baseline. Castillo is almost hit by a pitch and a fight almost breaks out. Tempers are momentarily calmed.
Castillo then walks on four pitches. Another pitching change. A few pitches later, a real fight breaks out after Jose and a Marlin exchange words.
Harvey Garcia is the new pitcher and his first pitch is way inside to DW. His second pitch was hit past the shortstop. Reyes scores. Mets 10-Marlins 0.
Beltran strikes out. The "A-Lou" cheers are lead by the Paperbag Kid pictured below.
Alou flies out to shallow left field. Speaking of Alou, he makes a great catch to preserve the no-hitter to end the top of the sixth.
Castro hits a home run to extend the Mets lead to 11-0. Milledge hits a sure out dribbler down the first baseline but the pitcher misses it and overthrows first. Milledge advances to second. Maine pops up to
first. The crowd rises to its feet as Jose comes to the plate. Jose pops up to short and lead 11-0 at the end of the sixth.
Andino hits a ball off DW's glove but Reyes recovers to throw out Andino at first. Uggla hits a ball that DW can't field but the third base umpire rules it foul. Uggla unfortunately works out a walk. Jeremy Hermida strikes out after being up 3-0. Amezaga pops up to DW. Through the top of the seventh, Mets 11-Marlins 0. Get up and stretch, it's the Seventh Inning Stretch.
The Mets add another run as I go to the restroom. Mets 12 - Marlins 0.
The Paperbag Kid is wilting in the sun but the nearby fans urge him NOT take the bag off his head. Asphyxiation is a high price to pay to but the Mets have never had a no-hitter. Not Ryan, not Seaver. Is today the day that history is made? When will the Paperbag Kid ever breathe (regularly) again?
The first batter strikes out after 3-0. The second flies out to Alou. Hoover hits a dribbler down the third baseline but DW didn't throw it. Darn it! To the din of the crowd, Willie pulls Maine and brings in Willie Collazo.
A "Let's Go Nationals" cheer rocks Shea as the Nationals score an early run in the first inning against the Phillies
Newhan singles home a run in the bottom of the eighth. Mets 13 - Marlins 0.
Gomez makes a great sliding catch on Andino in center. Muniz gets Abercombie out and the Mets win 13-0.
Posted by the Tank reporting Live from Shea Stadium, Queens.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Week #4 NFL and Week #5 College Football Picks
Due to baseball coverage, I am posting this as a combo.
College: I was 0-2 last week, my first losing week ever in SATT, abeit grateful that Syracuse upset Louisville. I am saddened that Alabama lost to Georgia. I am 5-3 on the season.
This week's picks:
Syracuse beats Miami (OH).
Rutgers beats visiting Maryland. Remember, the Scarlet Knights can't let their guard down. This is a "trap" game and tough challenge.
#6 California beats #11 Oregon in a barn burner in Oregon.
Pro: I was 2-1 last week and 4-2 on the season.
This week's picks:
The Bills lose to the Jets.
The Giants win a close one against the Eagles at home.
Written by the Tank and posted by (a depressed) Steve in NY.
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