The Mermaid Parade

On Saturday I went to see the Brooklyn Cyclones, the single A short season team of the NY Mets at Keyspan Park in Coney Island.  It also happened to be the first weekend after the summer solstice which made it “Mermaid Parade” day.  Now, for those of you not familiar with what this is, “the Mermaid Parade pays homage to Coney Island's forgotten Mardi Gras which lasted from 1903 to 1954, and draws from a host of other sources resulting in a wonderful and wacky event”  (http://www.coneyisland.com/mermaid.shtml).  If you’ve ever seen this thing, you shudder to think what those other sources might be and possibly may agree that some things are better forgotten.  Need more info?  “The Mermaid Parade is an art parade, not a showcase for naked girls”  See, how that works is that the girls put ,ah, SHELLS and, ahm, small pieces of , ah, THINGS to cover the, ah, PARTS that would, ahm, CONTRIBUTE TO NAKIDITY!.  Yeah.  So, that way, it’s an ART PARADE!  Even Republicans would agree with that, right?  And because it’s an ART PARADE, it’s O.K. to bring kids.  Of all ages.  And if you want the party to continue, you can go to the Mermaid’s Ball which had live entertainment including such renowned acts as Bambi the Mermaid, Bunny Love, Jo Boobs, Little Brooklyn, Tigger, Dottie Lux and others.  Because, it’s an ART BALL.  To go with the ART PARADE!  What it breaks down to is this:  On this one day of the year, the lines for Nathan’s hot dogs are truly ridiculous, you don’t have to pay to see the freak show, and if you’re a twelve year old boy, you think you’ve died and gone to erotic heaven.(SPIDERMAN SPIDERMAN SPIDERMAN).  It’s a day when auxiliary policemen can strut their stuff (“You can’t cross the street here.  Only from the other side”  “Why not” “I don’t know.  I don’t make the rules.”) and no one can get to the bathrooms.  (“I gotta get to the bathroom”  “Then you have to find the end of the parade and cross there”  “Where’s that?”  “I don’t know.  I don’t make the rules”).  But the weather was glorious.

Before the Game

I was with my son John and we decided that the boardwalk and sidewalk were too crowded (“Please move up closer to the buildings.  I have to keep a lane open”  “Where do you want us to go?”  “I don’t know.  I don’t make the rules”) so we decided to go over to Keyspan a little early and eat over at the ballpark.  As we approached the stadium, we hear a band playing really loudly in front of Peggy O’Neils.  John started to comment on the age of the guitar player but then we come around the front of the platform and see the lead singer.  This is a guy with a sleeveless shirt, a beer belly and flabby arms.  It’s really hard to project edgy when you look like you should be sitting in a recliner holding a remote control and a Bud with a bowl of Cheetos.  And a folk/rock version of “You Really Got Me” by the Kinks doesn’t cut it.  But their album will be out in September.  If only we could remember the name of the band.

We walk in the Park and they are giving out piggy banks to the kids.  I remind them that I am with my son but the girl at the gate says “but he’s taller than you are”.  Evidently, Brooklyn has a height requirement.  So we don’t get the crappy giveaway (actually, I saw some kid with it and it was really cool.  A big baseball with a slot in it and the words “Brooklyn Cyclones” on the side.  Damn those restrictions!) but we decide to go and get some food and watch a little of the pregame warmups.  We cruise the concourse and pass most of the stands because I’ve been there before and I know where the outside grille is so that even if we can’t get to Nathans for a tube steak, we can have a burger from the barbie, and I know it’s going to be good because we’re early and they’re just starting to cook them.  So, you’re probably asking yourself, how do you mess up barbeque on a propane grille?  I’m no expert but I’m guessing that starting to cook without the burners on is the first step.  And I’ll bet that the frozen patties melted in the sun which is why they had that glazed dead meat look to them when the barbequer took them off the grille.  We decided not to eat there.  We grabbed some food from the concession stand and sat down.  The loudspeakers were blasting some bad rap during the warmups and John commented that classic rock might be more appropriate given the setting and I couldn’t agree more (“Dust in the Wind,  All we are…”  Hey!  There was a continuous breeze blowing off the ocean).  For those of you who have never been to Keystone, it is next to the boardwalk at Coney Island, right on the ocean.  If you look to left field, you can see the amusement park with the famous Cyclone wooden roller coaster (both a New York and National landmark) so it’s really nice in a Brooklyn kind of way.  The crowd was coming in and King Henry (think of Ralph Kramden and Bobby Bacala’s love child) was greeting people at the top of the stairs in a loud voice, there was a brass and horn section playing classic ragtime (no rythym section, just the horns in a musical scratch the blackboard with your fingernails kind of way), and maybe every third guy coming in was wearing a wife beater t-shirt with a Cyclone’s baseball hat.  Just a normal day at the ballpark in Brooklyn.  We spent the rest of the pregame watching the starting pitcher warming up in the bullpen.  The pitching coach was out there eating a bag of peanuts, talking to the pitcher in English and the catcher in Spanish.  Communication is the key to all things.

THE GAME

We made our way to our seats and found a couple of people from the office there.  The reason we were at this game is that it was our annual summer department outing to see the Cyclones.  This is our fourth year and I definitely always look forward to it.  We were expecting over twenty folks but at the beginning of the game there were only about eight of us.  Must be a traffic problem (Mermaid Parade?) and the stadium was filling up slower than usual.  They announce the ceremonial first pitch, several times, (so we’re not sure which one was the actual FIRST pitch) and then the national anthem, to be sung by a young woman in tribute to her father.  Even though we didn’t know why, it seemed like a nice gesture.  The boy scout color guard came marching on the field (because it was boy scout day at the ballpark.  Right after the Mermaid Parade.) and they marched to the front of the pitching mound facing the crowd.  That’s when about 50 other people came from out of the stands, walked to the infield and stood facing the flag in center field.  We didn’t know where to look!  The young songstress stepped to the mike and began.  “Ohh say can you see, By the dawns early light …”  Smooth opening.  So far so good.  “Twas so proudly we hailed, at the twilights last gleaming”   Starting to quiver on the upper notes, but what the heck, it’s for her dad.  And it went on like that for the first part of the song.  I wasn’t sure she was going to be able to hit the high notes but I knew I was pulling for her.  She finished up the rest of the beginning of the song in the same fashion and then, it happened.  On the line “And the rockets red glare” she dropped down four octaves so that in the blink of an eye, our budding mezzo soprano became a Budweiser frog, in a completely different key. And I wasn’t the only one who noticed.  But it was for her dad, and we were in Brooklyn, on the beach, with the Boy Scouts and the Mermaids and DAMN.  She got a standing ovation!  Ok, we were already up, but it was a moment!

The game starts and we realize that there is a cheering section for the opposing pitcher that had come down from Hudson Valley with matching t-shirts and hats.  John suggested that maybe they were the pitchers roommates and that he finally got them to come to a game (“C’mon dudes.  It’s on the beach and I’ll buy the beer”).  Between us and them was a couple of rows of little smart aleks, half in Yankee shirts, dissing our buddy The Tank (“I don't want to be old like you" when I catch a foul ball), and generally working on growing up Brooklyn.  Both the out-of-towners and the little brats had a freakoid who looked like he now lived in the gym after he got out of prison, so nobody was pushing too hard.  On the field, Hudson Valley gets off to an early 1-0 lead and the roommates are losing their minds.  Meanwhile, more of the people from the office arrive including the big boss, Director Steve, wearing a hat that looks like a Bensonhurst version of the one on the cover of Frank’s “Songs for Swinging Lovers”.  Sweeet!  The Cyclones get out of the inning and the madness begins.  Minor league baseball in Brooklyn is different.  They stop playing the game and loud stuff starts happening.  From tossing water balloons, to throwing beanbags through holes, to dancing on the dugout, the whole idea is to keep everyone engaged and give away stuff.  Several times they come out and throw T-shirts to the crowd.  I’m usually never near any of these things but this time one went flying over our heads, bounced off a guy with crutches, and popped back into the arms of one of the women in our group  We had a t-shirt winner.  I think we were all proud of that.  The game goes on and the Cyclones start chipping away at the roommate.  The cheering section is quiet.  But now the score is tied, then the Renegades go back on top, but here come the Cyclones. And so it goes till around the sixth inning.  And then it’s time for the Nathan’s Hot Dog Race. 

The Nathan’s Hot Dog Race is where they show a film of 3 guys dressed in hot dog suits running down Surf Ave from Nathan’s to the corner of the ballpark where the left field gate flies open and Live, and in Person, the 3 dogs come running in, bumble their way down the line, and someone wins.  Big Whoop!  Except this year.  When the tubers were somewhere between first and home, a drunk comes barreling out of the stands and slides into home plate.  Safe!  He’s announced as the winner by King Henry, everyone cheers,  and the cops lead him away.  (“I don’t know.  I don’t make the rules”).  Also, right around this time, we’ve become aware of the fact that a couple of rows down from us, a group has started putting on hazmat suits.  And because we’re in Brooklyn, nobody notices or cares.

The Cyclones finally break open the game in the eighth inning and now all they have to do is get through the ninth and the game will be over.  Easier said than done.  The relief specialist comes in and he must have watched the “Bad News Bears” before the game because two guys are immediately on base.  The crowd is getting restless but we have a four run lead.  Now the outfielders start dropping fly balls but miraculously, no one scores.  Finally,  someone finally catches one and the game is over.  As we start to leave the park, the announcer comes and tells us “If you’re going on the Belt Parkway, go to Nathans and have a hot dog.  It’s backed waaaay up”.  Priceless.

At the end of the day, I was at a baseball game with my son and some friends, enjoying a hot dog and having a great time .  And I gotta say, it just doesn’t get any better than that.  We’re going back to Steve and Lori’s for a little after game get together, and just for a moment, life is perfect.  And we’ll be coming back again next year to do it again.

Written by Medford Bob and Posted by The Tank.

Medford Bob Says

Saturday, June 30, 2007 2:55:39 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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Roger Clemens pitched again and lost again, further proving the experiment in bringing him back should be ended. The Rocket pitched 6 innings and gave up 7 hits and 4 earned runs, sending his ERA up to 5.32. He also did not strike out a batter and it was the first time in 200 starts that the Rocket did not strike out a batter.

I am sure that the Rocket will rebound. But it most likely won't be until after the All Star break that he is in top form and throwing smoke. It will be too little too late and way too expensive. The Yankees are better off making him a pitching coach and trading for some young prospect.

In other news Tom Glavine earned victory #297 last night in 6 innings of solid pitching in the rain, allowing only 1 hit. The game was called in the bottom of the 6th inning.

Posted by Steve in New York

Thursday, June 28, 2007 8:15:31 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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The Mets and Yankees both lost games last night that last year they would have won. I have gotten some email over the last two days disagreeing with my analysis on the Mets and the Yankees. Tuesday night is a microcosm of the both problems. The Mets only managed 6 hits last night over 11 innings and their bullpen held out as long as possible.

The Yankees managed 8 hits but also managed to walk in the winning run.

Unless both teams address their problems, expect it to be a long summer.

Posted by Steve in New York.

Mets Analysis (MLB) | Yankees Analysis (MLB)

Wednesday, June 27, 2007 7:42:24 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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Good pitching shuts down good hitting. The Mets have good hitting and average pitching, so it is no wonder why they are in first place in the NL East. The problem is that they are prone to slumps as well as vulnerable in a 7 game series against good pitching. We have seen good pitching shut down the Mets over the last month as their offense has struggled. Now that the Mets have returned to their winning ways (but not ended their offensive slump) let's review the problem.

Most Mets fans are in denial and think everything is ok and just a few injuries caused the June meltdown. I argue that the problem was much more fundamental, remember they only had 3 hits in the 11 inning victory last night.  Yes some key injuries are hurting the Mets right now, most noticeably Mosis Alou. Alou was hitting .318 and with his plate discipline he provided great pop at the bottom of the order. It seemed that early in the season Alou was always on base. As much as Jose Reyes was the spark plug, Alou was the fuel injector. Losing Chavez was no help either. (On the bright side, at least Gomez is given some big league playing time which will help him transition to an everyday player in 2009.)

There is something else missing. That something is Carlos Delgado. In my opinion, Delgado was the reason the Mets were as good as they were in 2006, and why I was so upset in 2005 when the deal did not work out to get him here. Delgado's effect on Carlos Beltran both personally and with bat protection sent Beltran's numbers through the roof last year. Delgado was a big bat, if you got past Beltran you then had to face Delgado, then Wright, then Green. Now the Mets are missing that big threat.

The good news is that this is most likely just a slump, but without Delgado producing a few key injuries or other slumps leads to disaster. Right now there is a lot of pressure on Delgado, so hopefully when Alou and Chavez return by the all star break some of that pressure will be lifted. When the monster comes out of his cage, the NL better watch out. Hopefully he comes out soon.

Posted by Steve in New York

Mets Analysis (MLB)

Tuesday, June 26, 2007 8:24:43 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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The million dollars per start the Yankees are paying Clemens to win them a World Series just got a little cheaper yesterday since he came in during the 7th inning for an inning of relief. He threw 18 pitches, walking Barry Bonds, striking out one, and giving up an earned run (and one hit). His ERA is now at 5.09.

Roger Clemens was so magnanimous in his offer to pitch in relief. The news media has anointed him a savoir saying "but he doesn't have to even travel with the team, so his offer to pitch is proof of his dedication to win."

Dosen't have to travel with the team? Are we forgetting that everyone, even injured players, travel with the team? Even the PR guys and low level IT guys travel with the team. But the highest paid player in the game gets a pass. So since he decided to come to San Francisco somehow he is so gracious. It is like the guy on Capital Hill who says "I am lowering government spending" but in reality is just lowering the increase in spending. Double talk.

What Yankee fans are not realizing is that the Yankees season is almost over. The Tank is in denial. Most other fans are too. (Except Mike in my office.) The starting pitching is acceptable now that Clemens has arrived, but not good enough. Middle relief is not there and frankly, Mo has seen better days. The lineup is ridiculous, like the All Star team, but as I said for many years (and the Mets have this problem too), good pitching shuts down the all star lineups. Pitching wins pedants. And the Yankees have sub-par pitching. The Yankees are 11.5 behind the Red Sox and 6.5 behind Cleveland for the Wild Card. Sure anything can happen but unless there is a major trade at the deadline for a young pitcher like Zambrano or Willis, the Yankees are in trouble.

The Mets have the similar problems but at least they did not break the bank bringing back Dwight Gooden. I'll focus on their problems tomorrow.

Posted by Steve in New York.

Yankees Analysis (MLB)

Monday, June 25, 2007 8:11:15 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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When David Wright hit a walk-off double last night in the bottom of the 9th for a 1-0 win last night at Shea, the Mets won the first two games against the Oakland As-ensuring their first series win since the SF Giants were in town in late May.

While this is cause to celebrate, there is still cause for alarm. The Mets pitching has been ok of late, epically allowing only 1 earned run in the last two games against a good Oakland team, but the starting pitching and bullpen has been shaky all month. Combine that with a season long drought from Carlos Delgado as well as Alou on the DL, the Mets still have significant issues. Bottom line, the Mets need Delgado to start hitting and Alou to be healthy.

Alou is not expected to come off the DL for another week or two at the earliest and Delgado is in a massive funk, a funk that may be due to an unknown injury or his off season wrist surgery. So we are looking at the all-star break before some relief arrives. Luckily, the Mets are in a weak division, they still have a 3 game lead over Atlanta and 3.5 over Philly. They should have a 10 game lead by now, but the month long slump has made that only 3 games. As we approach the all-star break, if the Mets can build a 7 or 8 game lead, then there is not a major cause of concern. We'll see.

Posted by Steve in New York.

Mets Analysis (MLB)

Sunday, June 24, 2007 11:01:39 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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Tom Glavine was stuck on 295 for over a month. He went 0-4 with an 11+ ERA since #295. These things happen. Looking forward to #300 at Shea.

Posted by Steve in New York.

MLB

Saturday, June 23, 2007 6:36:39 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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So far the Yankees have paid Roger Clemens $1,000,000 for an easy victory over AAA Pittsburgh, $1,000,000 for a solid start but a loss to the Mets and another $1,000,000 for a dismal performance yesterday in Denver. The Rocket said he was effected by the altitude (6,000', Gary would call him a wimp) and threw 90 pitches in 4.1 innings. He still had some movement on his breaking ball and his high heat fooled Holliday twice for Ks and we can excuse the two solo home runs. The problem with the Rocket is his body. He can't field a bunt, nor can he hold the runners on. After the Mets' ran at will on Clemens and bunted for infield hits, advanced scouts have gotten wind of this and are doing the same. Expect to see more infield hits and steals off Clemens, putting runners into scoring position.

Steve believes that it is time for the Yankees to end the Rocket experiment. Drop him and use the payroll to get some young blood. Roger is not going to take the Yankees to the World Series. Any Yankee fan who believes this now needs to have their head examined.

Posted by Steve in Karachi, Pakistan.

Yankees Analysis (MLB)

Friday, June 22, 2007 12:21:55 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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  I just spent the weekend in Pittsburgh, the newest stop on my baseball stadium tour. I was excited because I had never been to PNC Park and the Pirates were playing some pretty decent ball lately, and I was going to visit my friends Jeff and Diane and their daughter Nell who was home for Fathers Day. 

THE FLIGHT TO PITTSBURGH

      I was leaving from LaGuardia on a Saturday afternoon which is NEVER a good idea.  Generally, if you don’t get there before six in the morning, your flight is delayed at least 40 minutes.  Anyone who’s been there can confirm this.  Well, much to my delight, there was no real crowd at UselessAir, no problem getting through security, and no announced delay in taking off.  While I was waiting for the plane, the gate attendant starts announcing that the flight was “overbooked” and they were looking for a few “volunteers” to give up their seats in exchange for a roundtrip ticket to be “used within a year and is transferable to family and friends”.  That’s what they told me on ValuJet right before they changed the name to Air Tran.  Fool me once I say.  I watched and there was only one taker.  This was not going well for the gate crew.  After a few minutes, in a somewhat firmer voice, “Ted” asked again for volunteers to give up their seats, especially if “Pittsburgh was your final destination as there were people who had to make connecting flights.”  He was staring straight at me.  But I wasn’t buying.  Call me crazy, but I don’t remember being asked to cover the mistakes of this Chapter 11 abomination of an airline.  So, I ignored him and his repeated attempts to bully me into taking a later flight.  Finally, some other folks decided a free trip was worth the inconvenience and took the deal.  I was safe. 

      They announced that the plane was almost ready to board, and that if you had any carry-on luggage, “I implore you, PLEASE, take a gate check ticket now so you don’t slow down the boarding.”  Begging from the podium.  That’s new.  So we all take a yellow ticket, tie it to our suitcases and head down the jet way.  At the end of the ramp we are greeted by a roll-up stairway that was pushed to the opening that we had to walk down to the tarmac and cross over to the airplane, which had its own built-in stairway in the door.  I asked one of the workers why we couldn’t use the stairway built into the jet way, and she told me, quite seriously, that “this stairway is reserved for airport workers only.”  Right.  Anyway, this particular puddle jumper was operated by Air Wisconsin.  And who knew there was one?  Visions of Packer highlights and cheddar bricks danced through my head.  So I Quasimodo my way down to my seat to be greeted by a young lady reading “Appointment with Dr. Death,” the story of Jack Kevorkian.  But I don’t care, because we’re getting out of La Guardia.  Sure enough we’re in the air in ten minutes and I’m going to get there on time.  SWEET!  The flight goes smoothly enough, Dr. Death curls into a small ball and remains motionless, and about ten minutes before touchdown, the pilot comes on and tells the flight attendant to prepare for landing.  I beat the LaGuardia curse!  Or did I?  Five minutes later I hear on the loudspeaker, “Ah, this is the flight deck.  We’re going to be delayed for a bit because they just closed down Pittsburgh airport for the Air Show.  They estimate it will be about 40 minutes before they reopen for commercial flights.  Sorry for the inconvenience folks.  The good news is that those of you who are trying to make connecting flights will have no problem ‘cause they can’t fly in or out either.  We’ll keep you updated as we get more information.”  Wait a minute.  Did this just pop up?  Surely they can’t be doing a guerilla Air Show in this toothpaste-in-quart-bag-and-take-off-your-shoes post-9/11 world.  This isn’t the ‘60s where you would jump out of a Volkswagen bus in the middle of a demonstration and start doing street theater through bullhorns.  I must be missing something.  I call the cabin cheese head over and ask her “Didn’t you guys know about this?”  She says, “Yeah, they told us. But they decided to send us anyway.”  Figuring, what, our Chevy Aveo airplane can make up time in the air and sneak in before show time?  Or that the supersonic jets in formation would ignore us as too puny for their attention?  Or was this just their way of being able to report that the flight was “on time”?  All I know is that I should have taken the free ticket.  Landing 45 minutes late (but not because of LaGuardia) I’m met at the airport by Jeff and Diane. 

      I’ve known them since college.  Jeff is still quirky (when I first met him he was wild about cowboy clothes and never went anywhere without his boots and cowboy hat) and is a true renaissance man.  Diane has grown from being a J.A.P. to a J.A.M. (fill in your own blanks) and is as delightful today as the day I met her (“Do you know you can now get cancer of the scalp?”).  They are the kind of friends that it doesn’t matter how much time has elapsed, it seems like you were just talking yesterday.  Nell is a wonderful blend of them both (poor dear) and they have another daughter, Rachel, who lives in France and is married to the French guy who Jeff describes as the, ah, FRENCH GUY (gonna try to keep this one PG).  I apologize to them for being late but they tell me “No problem.  We watched the Air Show”.  I was glad to be of service.  We jump in their car and head back to their house to drop off my luggage before we head to the ballpark.  On the way we pass the “Wal-Mart site.” 

THE WAL-MART SITE

      The Wal-Mart site is one of those American stories that just needs to be retold.  We were passing through one of the little small towns that surround Pittsburgh (and this one was REALLY SMALL) and to the left was a hill and a road which led up to an abandoned old hospital.  The land had been sitting empty for years.  Recently, along comes Wal-Mart who sees the spot, knows an opportunity when it see one, and starts to negotiate (bribe?) the town fathers to purchase the land to build a Super Wal-Mart (you know, the ones with the groceries in them).  Of course, the town residents are immediately up in arms and form a committee and hire a lawyer to stop what they believe will be the downfall of their way of life.  (Let’s go to Wal-Mart and buy everything we don’t want BUT don’t put it in our backyard! )  In other words, a typical Wal-Mart opening.  Now I believe that this has happened so often to this mega conglomerate that litigating these annoying lawsuits has been incorporated into the cost of doing business.  Remember, this is the company that recently proudly announced how their $4 generic prescription plan was helping to drive down the cost of medical care in this country.  (Oh, and the fact that their employees are uninsured helps too.)  Anyway, somebody forgot, or ignored, this irritating little engineering study which stated that trying to level this particular hill would have catastrophic results.  Seems it was unstable.  But in the grand tradition of “who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes,” construction began.  For a very short time.  Before the hill came crashing down, burying the existing highway.  Not all of the hill of course.  Plenty more for another landslide.  Just enough to finally stop a Wal-Mart from locusting into town.  Course the headline in the next day’s newspaper screamed “WE TOLD YOU SO.”  And just like that, the little man won.  Course there was still the cleanup, and the lawsuits, and the finger pointing.  But it just goes to show what a great country this is.

THE GAME

      Finally, we are on our way to PNC Park.  Home of the Pirates.  I’m feeling good about this because I’ve never been to this stadium before, the Bucs have won the previous night, they’re playing the White Sox who are really struggling this year so there’s a possibility that they could win again, and it’s ‘60s and ‘70s bobble head night.  We drive downtown where the Allegheny and Monongahela (I can’t pronounce it either) meet and park across from where the stadium is.  It is open from the other side of the river and you can see right into it.  We cross the Roberto Clemente Bridge which is closed to vehicles during baseball games.  In the middle of the bridge is a guy standing on one of the guardrails with a saxophone playing the Mexican hat dance (“da da da da da da da -clap clap”).  I don’t know why.  And we walk right up to the centerfield entrance to the park.  The first thing that strikes me is that this looks a lot like the new Busch Stadium, which looks a lot like Citizens Bank Park in Philly, which looks a lot like Camden Yards.  There is a certain cookie-cutter aspect to the new parks. They are user friendly, have great sightlines, are open so you can still see the field even when you’re at the concessions stands. The only differences I can see are the size (they announced a sellout at PNC of 36,000) and the outfields are configured a little differently.  After walking through security (?) (“how are you tonight”) we enter the park and each get a bobble head.  Absolutely not New York where pockets would have been padded down, security wands would have been waved, and 50,000 people would definitely have not gotten possible projectiles.  Reading the bobble box I discover that this is the first in a series of “bobble head” nights at PNC. (I guess I’m not getting the set.) We stroll through the back of the bleachers, past Manny’s barbeque over to the concourse where we can find our seats.  By the look of it they’re going to be pretty good, about 15 rows down and right past first base.  And on the aisle to boot.  Very nice.  We’re a little early so we figure we can leave our stuff at the seat and go and get some food.  Plowing through what turned out to be a sellout crowd (in Pittsburgh?) I find the common denominator, a stadium hot dog.  This thing looks greasy, like it’s been fried in butter or some animal fat so I know it’s going to be good.  Foot long, smothered in fried peppers and onions, roll slightly crispy on the outside and soft in the middle.  It was darn fine.  We go back to the seats, sit down, the game is beginning and the view is excellent.  There’s a buzz from the crowd, and enough empty seats that I know I’ll have a nice view of the game.  Then, after the game starts, they came.  First, a couple with their son and they sat in the seats right in front of us, with the kid in the middle.  He was about 6’2” and had spiky hair.  Now we have obstructed view seats (like being in Fenway).  But there is still half a row empty next to them.  Next comes a couple with 2 young children who move in to the middle of the row.  Spiky and folks are up, then down, then the young mom immediately has to leave with the kids.  We’re up, then down.  Now, comes another young couple, who are friends of the family (Spiky up, Spiky down).  Two minutes later, here comes mom with the kids (Spiky up, Spiky down) and five minutes later she comes back (Spiky up, Spiky down).  A few minutes after that, another couple arrives to join the group and she is seriously pregnant.  Somewhere on the field, there is a baseball game going on, if only we could see it.  Now, preggers gets into the act (Spiky up, Spiky down) and before she comes back, mom leaves AGAIN with the kids (Spiky up, Spiky down) and then a few minutes later preggers comes back (Spiky up, Spiky down) and then another couple comes to join these folks (Spiky up, Spiky down) and just when we are getting settled, here come mom with the kids.  And now I know why they were playing the Mexican hat dance on the bridge.  There’s a rhythm to this whole thing and we actually begin to start following the game.  That’s when the white-trash-trailer-park-won-the-tickets-in-a-barroom-poker-game group next to us decide to get into the act.  They’re up, they’re down. I finally think I get it.  The team has been bad for so long that the game is just an afterthought.  Mostly, they come for the exercise. 

      Around the sixth inning I start to get hungry again and my friends tell me that if I want a real Pittsburgh experience I have to go to Primanti’s (the T is silent).  Whatever you order, this sandwich comes with coleslaw and French fries in the sandwich.  Yup. I was eating a knish sandwich.  I wish I was at the R&D meeting for this creation. (“What are you eating?”  “A french fry sandwich.”  “Sounds gross.”  “No, it’s really good.  We should sell it.”  “ I don’t think anyone would buy it.”  “Well, how about if we put some meat in there?”  “Better, but seems like it’s still missing something”  “Lettuce, tomato?”  “Nah.  That would be too weird with the fries.”  “I know what you mean.  What else?”  Then together they exclaim “COLESLAW!”  And, an institution was born.  And, to add the coup de grace, they cut two hunks of Italian bread to hold this thing.  I’m in line, so I read the menu, all 3 items (Cheese steak, Roast Beef, and Prosciutto) and the sign which proclaims “NO SPECIAL ORDERS UNTIL AFTER THE SIXTH INNING” (I don’t even want to know).  After waiting about 20 minutes (cause this place is really popular), I order the cheese steak, which proudly boasts “voted #2 sandwich in Pittsburgh” (What’s #1?) and follow the rest of the crowd to the condiment stand because frankly, I don’t know what to do with this thing.  So I watch and learn.  Mayo and hot sauce on the sandwich and ketchup on the side.  My blood starts to thicken and my heart slows down as I bite into it.  Not bad.  Very Weird!  But not bad at all.  But now, I think of the possibilities and I start to get excited.  This means that the next time I take home a doggie bag from a restaurant, I can have a burrito sandwich with rice and beans on Italian bread with mayo and hot sauce.  I just gotta keep the ketchup on the side!

      I get back to the seats and the game is getting out of hand.  The Pirates have gone to the bullpen and the relief pitchers seem to have learned throwing to bases from the Tigers pitchers in last years World Series.  A tight game quickly becomes 6-1 but no one really cares because we’re all having a good time doing the Spiky dance, watching the racing pirogues (they run in from right field), the Sopranos takeoff with the Parrot, the Pirate and 2 of the pirogues (filling in for Meadow and AJ), not to mention voting on which rock and roll song we wanted to hear at the top of the ninth inning (Godzilla and Mothra won, and they showed the CLASSIC footage on the screen to boot).  We leave the park a little early to avoid the crowd and decide that we don’t want the fun to end, let’s go to Dairy Queen!  So we do.  One of the old fashioned, just off the highway, enough room for 3 cars and two benches Dairy Queen.  Old School!  And it tastes exactly the way it always did, although I don’t remember the butterscotch dip being quite that orange (looked like one of those spray-on tans). 

      Sunday is Fathers Day, we go out to breakfast (another story at another time -- think yeast and lots of it), then to an arts fair downtown (goes with the breakfast story), and then a plane trip back home.  All in all a fun visit.  It was great to see my friends, and I can’t wait to get back to the land of the Allegheny and Mokahekanana River.  But I think I’m going to wait until after I get the bypass.

Written by Medford Bob and posted by the Tank in NY.

Medford Bob Says

Thursday, June 21, 2007 8:57:14 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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Senator George Mitchell was one of the most respected members of the U.S. Senate in his time as Majority Leader and in the Minority.  He was appointed by MLB Commissioner Bud Selig to investigate the performance enhancement (steroid) mess.

Senator Mitchell's investigation has become a fishing investigation.  No player wants to talk to him and the MLB Players Union won't let them.  Exception: New York Yankee Jason Giambi wanted to clear the air in a recent "USA Today" interview.  Jason's candor got him an appointment with at the principal's office, the aforementioned Commissioner Selig, who wants him to talk to Senator Mitchell's commission later this week.  Seemingly okay by all accounts but Senator Mitchell is not only a Red Sox fan but a Director and a member of the Red Sox ownership group.  Senator Mitchell was recently witnessed wearing a Red Sox sweater and getting autographs on the field with his son before a Yankees-Red Sox game at Fenway Park a couple of weeks ago.
                                                                     
This begs the question.  How can Senator Mitchell set his anti-Yankee biases aside in giving Giambi a fair hearing?
                  
Senator Mitchell is only the latest example of the conflicts of interest that pervade our society.  MLB's Commissioner, Bud Selig, is also guilty of conflicts of interest.  He was finally forced to "divest" his ownership interest to his daughter a few years ago.  Commissioner Selig is an owner in commissioner's clothing.
                           
What will Giambi do?  If he is smart, he will say little or nothing. 

What will Senator Mitchell?  Listen, take notes, and hopefully buy some new non-Red Sox threads.

What will Commissioner Selig do?  Suspend Giambi and let the union fight it?

By doing something, Commissioner Selig will have shown that he tried.  At the end of the day, is that good enough?

Posted by a concerned Tank in NY.

Editorial | MLB | Steroids | Yankees Analysis (MLB)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 8:58:20 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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Going into last night's solid 8-1 victory, the Mets lost 12 of their 15 previous games, Carlos Beltran's quad has been drained twice, and there has been a whole host of other injuries and issues.  Given all the Mets injuries and tough schedule against every playoff team, the Mets are miraculously still 1.5 games ahead in the NL East.  Therefore, the Mets glass is half full.
                                 
If anyone should be concerned, it's me manning the Yankee Crisis Line.  The Yankees are thankfully playing better (touch wood) but are still 8.0 games behind the Red Sox for the AL East lead and 4.0 games behind the Tigers for the Wild Card.
                
Keep the faith!  Safe travels home bro!

Posted by the Tank in NY.

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Tuesday, June 19, 2007 8:45:02 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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The Boogie Down Bronx was jumping over excitement with Roger "The Rocket" Clemens starting against Oliver Perez and the Mets on Friday night.  The Yankees were winners of their last nine and the Mets lost their last five and nine of ten.  Perez let Yankees on base but worked out of trouble.  Clemens was solid but the hard luck 2-0 loser.
                         
I was disappointed to see the Yankees lose in person at the Stadium, especially since the Red Sox beat Barry Balco and the Giants, to gain a game in the AL East lead. 
                                                     
However, the Yankees won on Saturday and Sunday but in ways I didn't expect.  For instance, Clippard didn't pitch great but neither did Glavine.  Glavine is a future Hall of Fame pitcher going for his 296th career victory.  The way to beat him is to take pitches as the Tigers did last Sunday in Detroit and the Yankees did on Saturday.  The introduction of Questec has done him no favors as he normally gets the called strike even if it is two or three strikes off the plate.

The weather for each game was as unpredictable as the pitching.  Friday night was cool -- I thought I should have brought a jacket.  Saturday had a 40 minute rain delay.  Sunday night was hot and muggy.  Wang pitched 8.2 great innings. 
         
Bottom Line: I expected the Yankees to win Friday and Sunday, not Saturday and Sunday to tie the season series at 3 wins each.  The Mets still enjoy a 1.5 game lead in the NL East.  The Yankees are 8.5 games behind the Red Sox and 3.5 games behind the Tigers for the Wild Card.  Let's hope the Yankees and Mets meet again in October so I can have Subway Series closure and to help stimulate the local economy.  That's when the real bragging rights are on the line.

Posted by the Tank reporting live from Yankee Stadium in the Boogie Down Bronx.

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Monday, June 18, 2007 4:25:19 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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Happy Father's Day to my Dad and all the other dads out there.  I love you Dad.
                                                                                       
I also wanted to recognize a father like figure I grew up watching on TV, Bob Barker.  This past Friday marked Bob's last broadcast of the "The Price Is Right".  Bob was the face of the TPIR for over 35 years.
                                     
"Come On Down" is one of the best known phrases as the announcer calls for the contestant to come on down and see if the Price Is Right.  Bob then takes them through different price guessing games.  Family fun for everyone.
                                                
I don't know who will succeed Bob.  Rosie O'Donnell is a rumored replacement (hopefully not) or possibly former NY Giants running back Tiki Barber as I suggested when he retired a few months ago or even someone else.
          
Regardless of who succeeds in trying to fill Bob's large shoes, best wishes to Bob for a happy and healthy retirement.             

Posted by the Tank in NY.

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Sunday, June 17, 2007 2:18:53 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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As I blogged yesterday, I left Wednesday's Dbacks-Yankees game early to go to Sirius Satellite Radio, the home of Howard Stern.  Wow, what a thrill!
                      
Linda texted me that the Dbacks hit a solo home run but the Yankees still lead and thankfully won 7-2.
                                    
While waiting for Dana and Colin in the lobby, I recognized Scott Farrell from Howard's Channel 101.  I remember listening to Farrell when I lived in DC in the mid 1990s.  I met him as part of a 102.7 WNEW FM promotion meet and greet outside of Cask and Flagon near Fenway Park in Boston on Saturday, September 1, 2001.  I never got a picture with him back in 2001 but he said stop on by the studio and he would oblige.  True to his word, he did.  Thanks Farrell!

It was awesome seeing the dozens of monitors mounted high on the reception area switching from song to song corresponding to each of Sirius's dozens of commercial free music stations.  Dana, Colin, Ariel the guitarist, and I are pictured below in the reception area. 

The host, (John) Devore, escorted us into the high tech studios and introduced us to his co-host, Diana, as well as producer and intern.  Since it was "sex freak week" on the Devore and Diana Show, Dana, Colin, and Ariel sang the Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister theme song videotaped by yours truly.  The remainder of the 35 minutes of the show was entertaining banter about the show and commercials.  Devore predicted that Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister will take over the nation.  I think it will be worldwide because you are never too old to play kids games with an adult twist. 

Posted by the Tank reporting live from the Sirius Satellite Radio Studios in NY.

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Saturday, June 16, 2007 4:04:32 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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"It's not just on TV," Linda said as she, Scores Mike, and I went to our great seats at the Stadium courtesy of Scores Mike on Wednesday evening.  We had spent the first couple of innings hanging out in the Pinstripe Club.  The Yankees and Dbacks were tied at 1 after two innings.  Posada hit a first pitch home run to right field to tie the game.
                              
In the bottom of the third, Jeter led off with a single.  Abreu hit a grounder to Dbacks pitcher Livan Hernandez who juggled it.  Hernandez threw it to second to get Jeter out but Abreu was safe at first.  As the three of us discussed A-Rod's recent trips to gentlemen's clubs, A-Rod hit a home run to left field.  "An A-Bomb for A-Rod!" as radio broadcaster John Sterling would say.  The picture below is A-Rod crossing home plate for his 65th RBI of the season in the 63rd game of the season.  Amazing!

Posada walked and was running as Matsui got ball four.  Cano singled to mid right center to load the bases with one out.  The Dbacks held a meeting at the mound.  Cairo popped out.  Nieves' at-bat was marked by "That ball is high, it is far, it is..." caught by the left fielder.  At the end of three, Yankees 3 - Dbacks 1.          

Mike "Moose" Mussina had a pretty easy top of the fourth and made two solid stabs to continue to cement his fielding reputation.  Linda thought he was booed but Scores Mike and I explained it was "Moose".
                                             
Damon flew out to start the bottom of the fourth.  Jeter grounds out to third.  Bobby "El como dulce" ("Just like sugar") Abreu singled and then stole second while A-Rod came up to bat.  A-Rod singled to left. After the throw home was offline, A-Rod advanced to second.  The Yankees now lead 4-1.  Posada walked.  Just after a scene from "Happy Madison" flashed on the screen in right center, Matsui hit a three run bomb to the right field bleachers pictured below.  Gonezilla! 

Cano was out to end the inning.  At the end of four, Yankees 7 - Dbacks 1.                    
                                                                                        
I always stay until the end of games except a rainout that ended in a tie in September 2001 (Cal Ripken's last game at the Stadium), the Saturday before the September 2004 Berlin Marathon, and July 2005 when Medford Bob and I had to go the Team InfoSys Brooklyn Cyclones departmental outing.  However, I had to go to Sirius Satellite Radio for a live show on Maxim Radio with Dana Sterling and the rest of the Co-Ed Disco Crisco Twister team.  More on that soon.         
                 
While I was in studio, Linda texted me the Dbacks solo home run and the final score, 7-2.  Thanks Linda, you're the best!  With their eighth consecutive victory, the Yankees became 32-31 with the win and went a game above .500 thank God!
                                
Posted by the Tank reporting live from Yankee Stadium in the Boogie Down Bronx.

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Friday, June 15, 2007 3:58:38 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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The New York Mets, who only about two weeks ago had the best record in the National League had it all going right. The pitchers were is awesome form and the offence was breaking out when Carlos Delgado and David Wright finally emerging from their slumps.

In the last two weeks the Mets have had a free fall. A combination of bad luck, injuries and bull pen failures have lead to a 1-9 stretch in the last 10 games. The newspapers have anointed the .500 Yankees as the talk of the town now that they are 8.5 games out of first place and having won 8 in a row and going into the weekend subway series. Having to face the streaking Yankees this weekend, Mets fans are rightfully worried.

I am going to disagree from popular analysis and say that all is ok with the current streak.  First off I won't blame this on injuries, that would be an excuse. You can't blame it on sloppy play, the Mets have not made that many errors. You can't blame it on offence, the Mets have been hitting. The reason for the slide then? The bullpen.

The Mets lost two extra inning games to Philly in the slide and blew the lead in more than 50% of the losses. The bullpen has been the Mets saving grace the last season and a quarter. Now that it has melted down a little the press is predicting doom and gloom.

Keep the faith Mets fans. A few hope of the ball, one or two different plays and the Mets would be 5-5 in the last ten games. That is baseball. Streaks are part of the game. Just as when the Mets later this season have an 8-2 run, it doesn't mean they are on track to sweep the entire league in the playoffs. Keep the faith.

Mets Analysis (MLB)

Thursday, June 14, 2007 7:55:54 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)
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